this post was submitted on 01 Apr 2025
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traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns

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Picture: wet cat in a bathtub looking at the camera "I seriously don't understand why we need birth certificates, like I promise you I was born"

top 22 comments
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[–] hedge_lord@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

See I don't actually remember being born and I'm not going to take the government's word for what happened. I think that I simply grew in the ground as a mutant potato and was unearthed at around my supposed birthday. It would explain my natural affinity for lying around.

[–] bleistift2@sopuli.xyz 49 points 2 days ago (2 children)

It’s not about the ‘that’. It’s about the ‘when’, ‘where’, ‘to whom’ and ‘by whose mistake’.

[–] officermike@lemmy.world 44 points 2 days ago

And don't forget with what genitals, because that will define who you're allowed to be, who you're allowed to love, how much you'll get paid, how you're allowed to dress, and what freedoms you'll have, depending on the where and when.

[–] celeste@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

why does the state need to know and if it so wants to know, why do I have to show it, why can't it do it's own research if it's such a know-it-all

[–] bleistift2@sopuli.xyz 15 points 2 days ago

For instance: I recently needed my birth certificate to prove that I’m my mother’s heir. The state doesn’t care about that. Other, private institutions, like banks, care. And they don’t have access to the municipal records (rightfully so!)

[–] darklamer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I was born in a country where birth certificates don't exist so I've never had one and life's been just fine without it.

[–] sdfric88@lemmy.sdf.org 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)

But what do you do when people ask you to prove you were born?

[–] darklamer@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Well, so far that's never actually happened so I don't know, but I guess that if it ever were to happen I'd have to pull up my shirt and show my belly button as proof.

[–] sdfric88@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 1 day ago

Hmmmm I dunno. Can you get a doctor to tattoo his signature around your bellybutton?

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 2 days ago

i pray that day never comes because i would cease to have existed

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 9 points 2 days ago

How do we know for sure you were born and not just created in a lab unless your birth has been officially certified?

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

And I'm still getting fucked over that decision I didn't even make.

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 days ago

Right? I haven't been to tex-ass since i was in diapers, why tf does my birth certificate have to be from that shithole?

[–] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 16 points 2 days ago

“What if someone tried to like…dress up a burrito!?”

…this has literally never happened in the history of babies-

“WE NEED CERTIFICATES.”

[–] iflyspaceships@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

According to my methhead neighbor, its a contract that lets the goverment own you and take out loans in your name or something like that.

[–] libra00@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Birth certificates are not a method of verifying that you were born, they are a method of recording the other relevant details like who your parents are, when and where you were born, under what citizenship, etc. Those things are kinda important for establishing your eligibility for legal rights.

[–] ohulancutash@feddit.uk 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Also that a child has been born, and will therefore need welfare verification at various milestones such as school registration, health registration etc.

[–] libra00@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

Those are some of the legal rights I mean, yes.

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

In my country we just call them birth document.

Just says the time of birth, place and your aprents pretty much.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 4 points 2 days ago

That's like buying a donut and getting a receipt!

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Smorty@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 days ago

pffff, Lemmy account are premium by default!