ADHD
A casual community for people with ADHD
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Relevant Lemmy communities:
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A lot of times, I've mentally completed it. Even if I haven't physically. Like video games. I usually get to the final boss, I've solved all the problems, done all the side quests, got all the items, upgraded all the things, leveled up to be super strong. Now it's just.. do the task. But mentally, I've "beaten" the game. I'm a high enough level it won't be a challenge and I already know how the story ends.
Yes, though I'm unmedicated
Yes all the time! Books and TV series are the worst culprits, but games too, especially long ones.
I don't know if it's poor object permanence or just a lacking working memory, but it's not just that I burn out on things/move to another interest but how quickly it can happen.
If I don't actively engage with something almost daily my interest in it starts slipping almost immediately, and if I go four days without watching an episode of a show for example I typically find my motivation or drive for finishing it almost gone already. It's as if only the current moment exists and anything I'm not doing right now might as well not exist, or at least feels very intangible and unimportant.
Same goes for other hobbies and projects, and games of course.
I didn't even get to Act 2 in BG3 lmao!
Right now I'm trying very hard to complete an app that I've already spent a few weeks on and I'm not even half way with. My mind is looking for anything to distract me.
This happens to me all the time. It's a phenomenon I've known about and explained to people, but never seen in anybody else. Thanks for sharing!
With books when I used to read more, very frequently. I'd be going strong until the last 50-100 pages and then set it down and not pick it up again. Then I'd forget wtf was happening and usually just give up. Games are similar too.
I don’t have an answer for you, but I’ve dealt with this same thing my entire life. It’s not a conscious decision, I just find that I never fully complete a task I set out to do. The number of games I’ve dropped 80-90% of the way through is staggeringly high. My home projects always get about 75% done and then are left alone, doomed to be unfinished. The only solution I’ve found is to set smaller goals. Tasks that require multiple sessions of activity before completion are very difficult for me and I quickly lose motivation. I also struggle with completing tasks if I have any sort of interruption, such as getting a phone call or stopping to make dinner. This is why I gravitate toward esports for gaming. I can complete a session within an hour and nothing is left open-ended. The problem there is that I actually prefer playing longer, story-driven games, I just can’t keep myself focused on them over multiple sessions
I totally notice this too, and for media that I consume, I do things like…in a rotation? For example:
With games, I will have three titles in rotation at the same time, usually with different gameplay, settings, or story telling. Right now for me that is Baldur’s Gate 3, Catherine Full Body, and Vampire Survivors.
When I notice that I am starting to get a little tired of one game (as in, I am not getting the dopamine hits I was getting when I started it), I’ll rotate over to the next game. Same thing, onto the third game, and then back to the first until I finish one of them. Then I throw another backlog game into the empty rotation spot.
Right now I’m almost at the end of Catherine, so I’ll probably add another visual novel or puzzle game into it’s slot.
Same thing with tv shows, usually I’ll watch a few episodes, watch another show that’s a bit different of a genre, and come back to the first. The novelty keeps my brain entertained and makes my reward centre not drop off.
Thanks! Do you find that you have a hard time picking things back up with this set up? I’m worried that I’ll forget a lot of the stuff that I cared about / strategy if I step away from a game like BG3.
Honestly, no! I usually switch over when I start to feel a dip in my hyperfixation on the game, but still have an interest in it (around two or three days of playing in a row). I try really hard to make sure I’m not getting into a dopamine loop, I feel like when I do my enjoyment of games diminishes very quickly when I do.
Most modern games (like BG3) have such good quest logs/journals that I can just look at that and know where I left off. If it’s something like a Dark Souls game, I have a word document on my desktop that I write down what I want to do for next time (location I was going, quest, etc). I’m also not opposed to using guides/Googling if there’s something that I really feel like I’m forgetting.
Don’t feel bad about not finishing a game/book/movie though. It really is a lot to do with ADHD’s dopamine disregulation. We just produce less of it on average, so when we get a hit of it our brains try to squeeze every last drop out of the activity that’s giving us that high as fast as possible, and that can lead to the burnout boredom.
The last paragraph is really important - don't feel pressured to be a completionist in your leisure. Most of your life will give you constant pressure to complete things related to work or school - let your brain enjoy your leisure time and if it wants to move on don't try to force it to stay or stress out about how you'll restart it. In most of life you'll need to learn how to cope and conform to societal expectations around task completion, but it's probably healthy for us to let our brain indulge when we're unwinding.
Sorry for the long essay, but I hope it helps a little!
Not at all! I appreciate the thoughtful reply.
I haven’t finished a game in 15 years :( also running out of steam on baldur’s gate 3 rn unfortunately
My issue seems specifically with reengaging things. Like with shows, if it’s the show I’m watching rn, I sit down and watch for a while, and each time I come back to watch tv I just put on the next episode. But if I’m waiting for new episodes, there’s a decent chance I just won’t come back to the show.
For games, it seems to be when I get the gist of the game… BG3, I mostly finished act I, and I keep thinking “I enjoyed that game” but I don’t feel drawn to play it anymore. Even when I’m bored and don’t know what to do.
Finishing things is way overrated. I hate the endings of things in general. I've completely stopped watching TV shows to their competition. The end is often unsatisfying. And the last seasons are often a let down. Also most games are just way way way too long. I don't need a 150 hour game. There are just so many great games to play out there to be spending months playing one.
I do the same. My husband calls me a 'game hopper' as I move from game to game and rarely finish one. I mean, I do usually get back to them. Eventually. But if it's a game with a story it's going to be hard to get back into it after so many weeks or months. Which means that it seems more fun to start over... meaning that I tend to stop playing around the same point. So yeah, it's hard to finish a game. :D
I mean, I really do want to 'be able to' finish games (I mean yeah I can...it's just hard haha), but on the other hand, if I got what I wanted out of it, it's not a waste of time or money. Plus I'm getting to experience a lot of different games instead of a select number of games, so it's not that bad. :)
I'm the same with books. I'm finding it very hard to finish a book, but what does help is using a read tracker app (the one I use is actually called ReadTracker. It's on Android) to track my progress. Basically I can just start a timer when I start reading and when I'm done I stop the timer, log my progress and the app will give me an estimate on how long it would take me to finish the book (based on my past progress). This is nice, because knowing that it I keep going I'll finish the book in 3 hours feels more doable than not knowing it at all. Plus I really like graphs and statistics and these kinds of apps give me that as well.
I have the same thing. I always told myself it' because I don't want the content to end, so I don't finish it, voila, job well done!
I don't have ADHD (so far as I know) and I also found finishing the final act a little difficult. There's so much stuff! And the order you do things in kind of matters. And it has one of the hardest sequences (imo)
Look dude, I don't know if I have ADHD, I'm not going to self-diagnose. I'm at 71 hours in BG3 and I'm still on Act 1. Getting to Act 3 is an achievement in that game. There's so much shit to do, so much to explore. My friend is on his 4th playthrough.
I've only have had this problem more recently. Can ADHD get worse as you get older? If I was into something, I would finish it pretty quickly. In the last few years, I find myself doing the same. Be really into a game, get close to the end and then just stop playing without seeing the end.
I don’t know about getting worse as you get older but this is my experience exactly. I didn’t use to have this issue.
That's what makes it hard for me to know if this is simply my ADHD or if I just don't like modern games as much. Or perhaps even a little of both! BG3 I was able to complete 3 times, despite not really feeling like playing games like that these days. Meanwhile, I can't even force myself to play Starfield, and I usually would sink thousands of hours into previous Bethesda games that are really no different.