Asklemmy

You don’t feel older mentally, but your body starts to betray you. I don’t mean stuff like your legs aching after getting up when sitting on the floor, or getting tired easier; it’s the subtle things that really are irritating. Like taking longer to learn something. Getting fatter even though you don’t really think your diet is bad. Taking longer to find that word you can’t think of or the name of that person, movie, place, whatever.

The irritations that add up are the ones that you don’t really expect, not just the ones you do like needing glasses.

Then there’s “time.” Fucking day goes too quick. Used to be you felt like you could get all kinds of shit done in a day. Now? Run two errands and half the day is gone. Wtf.

Also, “lasts”.

You start to realize that there are things approaching that are the last time you’ll see or do something. The last time you visit where you grew up. Last time your kid lived at home. Last car you’ll ever own.

Yeah, the lasts suck.

When i was young i could sleep on a staircase and walk off next day as if nothing happened.

But now i sleep on pillow with slight angle and the next day is hell with neck and mid back pain.

Also alcohol tolerance reduced

Feeling confident without makeup.

Realizing that the pillars of success written by governments or institutions is bullshit and caring more about good people.

Feeling comfortable with a small social bubble. Quality over quantity.

Valuing naps over parties. 😴

Time feels way faster as you get older.

It's also pretty grim that the people you know are either dying, dead, or have a life altering illness that comes out of nowhere. I feel like there's a funeral in my family once a month, rather than once every decade.

I have to keep scrolling further and further back every year on age verification for websites.

Nobody mistakes me for a teenager anymore.

Kids call me "lady"

I want to go to bed at 9 PM

I get excited for new appliances

The realization that I may never live to see capitalism collapse

These are all cute, but when you start to lose your balance just turning your head or with basic movements, you really start to feel old.

It's only a matter of time before you start falling.

Once you start falling, you start dying slowly

Looks at a picture of a family dinner from 10 years ago. One third of the people are now dead…

• At 30 you reach the peak.
• At 40 you start to have small health problems that don't go away and are mostly annoyance.
• At 50 you seek help because it's more than annoyance. You get your first permanent medication.
• At 60 it's somewhat limiting and for the first time causing Intermediate pain.
• At 70 it's debilitating and pain is a familiar companion. You might have your first seizures.
• At 80 if it hasn't killed you yet, it soon will. You are probably an invalid or close to it.
• At 90 if you are still hanging on, you are waiting for death and welcoming it.

That's pretty much it, ±10 years.

I don't enjoy gaming anymore

Losing the people you love in very different ways.

Cuts and such heal WAYYYYY more slowly.

I also seem to bruise easier.

Every fart is a gamble

Gray pube.

Hungovers last longer, so do injuries from sport, easier to put on weight, less patience for bullshit, more selective with whom I spend my time with... There are so many!

The rage inside has only ever increased. The older I get the more militant I get. By the time I'm 40 I'll be living in the forest defending my country from fascists with a bow and arrow.

I got excited about a sale on toilet paper. It was 50% off for 30 rolls of the really high quality one!

Whatever im doing i gotta be careful or ill fuck my back up

Driving at night just sucks.

Sounds strange but I feel like, they listen to me more at work. There is more respect to the things I say.

• Your former school teachers die. At this point, I think the majority of mine is gone.
• Your gum recedes, and there's nothing you can do about it except to stop smoking. On a larger scale, your circulation gets worse because your erythrocytes become less elastic, for reasons still unknown. Add to this the most damaging impact of UV light and our atmosphere's oxygen - an objectively very aggressive chemical - and you start shriveling, just withering away from the outside. Molecular bonds are simply getting broken faster than they get repaired. Your insides last a bit longer, but their days are numbered, too.
• On the plus side, you'll get to learn new words for body parts you didn't even know you had.

While listening to the oldies radio station and hearing music that was popular while you were in high school

My wife and I get excited every time we come across articles about exoskeleton tech. Can we expedite this a little? I want a mech suit—not a fucking wheelchair—when I reach that age.

Also, a note to the designers: make sure you can use the toilet with it. Extrapolating current trends, I suspect this will become one of my primary activities.

Ouch. Why?

The hairdresser asks if he needs to do your eyebrows.

I was in a mosh pit for the first time in 7 years last year. I got fucking destroyed and was sore for about 2 weeks. I also slipped walking my dog during a big snow we had a few weeks ago and took me a little bit longer to get up than I used too. I am not old by any means and working on getting back in shape, but its starting :(

Not me, but my dad and his gf were at a headshop to get a new bowl/slide for their bong. They texted me and my wife to see "what the kids were calling them now a days" after a guess or two I said slide. They then went on a tangent how the people had no idea what they meant and kept trying to sell them a downstem lol. A few younger guys at my last job gave me shit for calling a banger a nail. Weed lingo sucks lol

That the experience the issues old people told you about. My lumbar is always achy

I tore the fuck out of my shoulder and had to have extensive repair surgery done. When I was talking to my physical therapist about a specific aspect of the repair, he said that they tended to do that with "older" people.

Ouch.

Also, I guess that my goal of looking like 2016 Rich Piana has now morphed to looking like 2018 Rich Piana. :(

I’ve started to lose height as I get older instead of gaining it

Your living expenses increase far more than your pay

You start grasping for the past again. You may have at one point when you were younger, have gotten tired of people telling stories of their past and how things were in the day. But before you know it, you will do it too. A lot of people already are doing it and they're in stages of their lives that the older people once were who also did it.

You feel like the world becomes greyer and greyer when you read the news about some celebrity that played a role you remembered them in be it a show or movie that passed away. This also applies to knowing about the individuals through the cracks that don't get as much coverage, like pioneers that helped make things you take for granted, knowing of people that took part of something that made you realize that they were what made something work and not who you thought did.

You get increasingly annoyed at just noise. Dogs barking. Children loudly playing. Babies crying. People shouting. People clumsily doing things that make something break or whatever. You yearn for periods of silence.

You could become isolated by choice, like caught in a web of indecision as to what hobby you want to enjoy. You're getting older, not younger, so you feel like you have to try to enjoy what you can before you really can't anymore.

And above all else, you grow more and more distant from the connections you once called your best. There will be a point in your life much later on, where you will be in a nursing home or whatever and you may not have a way to stay in touch with your friends. All of you are on a course of this same life and the sad part is all of you are also racing to your ends.

I notice the 55 and older menu. Save some money!