kind of a dick move to leave your friend in a wheelchair when you're jesus
this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2025
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To be fair, if he is good at his powers, he can probably turn just enough to have the person pass out without alcohol poisoning.
This seems like a XKCD / Randall Munroe "What if" kind of question. I.e., how long would a person survive if all of the water inside them was turned into wine?
A quick search suggests that blood is 80% water. Turning that into wine at a weak concentration of 5.5% results in around at 14.5% BAC which is over 10 times greater than the highest ever recorded, so it would be certainly lethal.
Wine is 80-90% water, but all that alcohol and other flavor compounds directly in your bloodstream would not be good.
Yeah, but how long before I croak?!?!? I need to know now!
Pretty much immediately. You wouldn't even know it.
Acidic pH like wine denatures proteins. It would destroy you on the cellular level, basic cell functions would cease to work. You could say it would stop your breathing or cause an instant heart attack, but it would be more like as if it fried your brain and heart like an egg in an instant.
The brain isn’t bathed in blood though, because of the blood-brain barrier. So if we’re limiting to only the blood turning to wine, it’ll take a couple seconds of excruciating pain before the brain goes night-night from lack of oxygen.
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I have a different question. How much wine extract can i add to the water in my body to be able to correctly state i exist out of 80% wine and still live.
That's much easier. If you weigh 100kg (220lb) it's W/(100 + W) = 0.8, and solving for W gives 400.
If you eat 400 kg of wine powder then 80% of your mass will be wine.
This will kill you, and it doesn't actually matter what powder you choose to eat.
You are saying that you would have to eat four times your body weight of wine powder to turn your blood into wine. That doesn’t make sense.
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Wine is 15% alcohol.
Human are 60% water.
Human weight around 70kg
70 x 0.6 = 42 L
42 x 0.15 = 6.3 L of pure alcohol.
You'd probably die before ingesting that amount tho
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Wine is 80-90% water. So that can be turned into wine with a wine base. And so forth. What is the end result?
Ethanol with grape flavouring
Ethanol poisoning apparently
Port.
Can Jesus turn the water in wine into wine?
Jesus invented brandy.
Wait, is that what brandy is?
Sort of. You distil the wine, ethanol comes out first in a higher concentration than water, you also get some bits of the wine flavour, but some is left behind as well. Over time the ABV of the liquid coming out of the still drops as the ethanol is mostly boiled off. Mostly. There would probably still be traces of it left down to the last few drops if you were to evaporate all of it.
Fun fact though when chefs add wine and say "it just boils off", this is mostly a lie. Depending on how you are cooking it some amount will remain. A long stew probably removes most but something quick would still contain a lot of the alcohol. But it's a very small amount in total.
It's not untrue that it boils off, but dilution is the bigger factor by a wide margin. When I use wine to deglaze, it will be 100ml. That is then turned into 2 or 3 liters of sauce, so a dilution of 1:20, 1:30. Or, expressed in percentages, 3-5% of the sauce would be wine if none of it evaporated - 14% alcohol would be reduced to less than 0.5% just by dilution.
To get a similar reduction from evaporation, you'd need to boil off 95% of the alcohol, assuming none of the water is also evaporated, which it will at the temperature of deglazing. I don't know the exact ratios here, but even a 75% net alcohol evaporation (which I think is generous) would leave you with a 3.5% alcohol (light beer) before dilution.
Edit: the table he shows has 95% actual alcohol loss for a 2.5 hours simmer, but every other method (where you'd "burn it off") is below 25%, so that's definitely a noticeble amount of alcohol left in, especially when you start with something like a brandy.
Reminds me of when someone made the same observation in Avatar: the Last Airbender about waterbenders.
(Except in that one, the observation wasn’t from online comedians - it was a fridge horror episode in the show)
Book spoiler; go read the books. Bending has less of the kid friendly filter
The Rise of Kyoshi is a masterpiece.
The show directly addressed this with blood bending, maybe not as viscerally as I've seen online but it definitely did. Like if water benders can build enormous ice walls they're definitely the most dangerous benders in Avatar. They could absolutely rip a person's soft tissues off their bones if they tried. It's just seen as so morally wrong that few benders even think about it. Like how we generally view mutilating a body in our societies or other strong taboos.
Earth benders can do the same with the iron in blood
Air benders can blow up your lungs
Firebenders can remove the heat from your body or boil your blood
The iron quantity in blood is actually very low. And when the thing is made up entirely out of iron, then also the benders can be as free with them as they are with earth
Here's my alternate suggestion BONE BENDING. Bones are just huge chunks of mineral so must be free game.
The iron in blood is in hemoglobin, the stuff you need to exchange oxygen. Suddenly ripping all of that out wouldn't necessarily cause a lot of physical trauma. But the person will now immediately asphyxiate while feeling everything as they struggle to breath with no relief.
"Bone Bending" sounds like a euphemism for something else...
No one ever said it had good writing
Which makes no sense considering there's a war going on. The fire nation goes around burning ppl alive. The last thing I would care about is the moral high road when my opponent genocided a bunch of monks.
Geneva suggestion
Also reminds me of the lactokinetic in Misfits. He appeared harmless, but if you had consumed any dairy products that were still in your body, he could kill you instantly.
I'd lead with the whole resurrection thing.
This is actually (spoilers for terrible movie Scales: Mermaids Are Real) the climax of the movie Scales. Mermaids can control water and their blood heals people in that movie, so hunters are trying to get their blood and then one guy tries a last ditch bad guy move and the main character pulls all the water out of his body and he horrifically melts.
Kind of made me side with the hunters at that point it's a horrifying power.
woah Jesus is a water bender??
I didn't see that coming. Nice surprise at the end.
Shame all his enemies are demon type who are immune to blood attacks, of course he can perform the cleansing ritual that has advantage against demon types casting possess so he isn't completely useless it's still a waste of a spell slot.
Miss when superheroes had vague wording in their powers, leap great distances could scale up and down , mean anything
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