this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 35 comments
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[–] HKPiax@lemmy.world 46 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Imma be the weird one: I use my tongue when I eat chips. I get a bowl, I fill it with cips, and then I stick my tongue like a frog onto one at a time, and it sticks a little bit, enough for me to bring it in and eat it.

It’s weird but my hands are always squeaky clean so idgaf

[–] pinkystew@reddthat.com 37 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (3 children)

Do you make the mlem noise

[–] HKPiax@lemmy.world 18 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] SaharaMaleikuhm@feddit.org 8 points 2 days ago

Good. I will rest easy tonight knowing this.

[–] beastlykings@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 days ago

Asking the real questions

[–] AccountMaker@slrpnk.net 12 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] atkion@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I use chopsticks with popcorn

[–] syreus@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

This is the way.

[–] JohnWorks@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 days ago

Yup I do the same thing with popcorn... At least when I get the popcorn initially from concessions.

[–] Wolf314159@startrek.website 41 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Chopsticks. Use them. It takes a little practice, but they are perfect for snacking, especially popcorn. Cheetos are easiest of the chips, but others are possible. No more residue on your finger tips, or the backs of your hands from reaching into the bag. I also switched to chopsticks for things like salads (fruit or vege variety), noodles, and getting olives and such out of jars. Even a good stew or chili can be eaten with chopsticks and a spoon. Now I just need to get better at using chopsticks with my nondominant hand.

[–] lemmur@szmer.info 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Finally a fellow chopstick ninja. I knew I wasn't the only one!

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Fellow chopstick master checking in. I've been told by a TON of expats that I could make a decent amount of money just eating as an extra in Japanese/Korean/Chinese television/film. I might have considered it in my 20s, but not now that I'm almost retired.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Is that why all the background actors eating with chopsticks are suspiciously young?

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Could be. I think they may have been willing to offer me a premium because I'm shockingly white, with blue/green eyes, and had blonde hair at the time. My dad just taught us all how to use chopsticks as kids, and I spent a semester in college eating everything with them, mainly so that I could.

Edit: oh, and I'm left handed, which is considered lucky in those cultures, from what I've been told.

[–] Szyler@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

I use a fork to eat cheesedoodles. They are perfectly porous for the fork to pierce Adhd stick

[–] LePoisson@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Seconding chopsticks, they're a little tricky to use but you get used to them with practice. It's nice to not have gross hands after snacking.

Or you can also go the whole I'm a gross monster route and just shake the bag into your mouth, I'm certainly guilty of that.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 days ago

And I guess if you really don't wanna put in the chopsticks practice time you could get those "trainer" ones for kids that are essentially tongs.

Not gonna look too sophisticated with em at a restaurant but they work well enough for snacks at home. I've been using chopsticks for awhile so I can't remember how long it took to feel proficient, but I'm always for lazier alternatives 👍

[–] JoShmoe@ani.social 51 points 3 days ago (5 children)

Do not let her dorito hands touch your dick! Don’t let em!

[–] dditty@lemm.ee 60 points 3 days ago (2 children)

The penis would be fine, it's the controller that matters

[–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 22 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Exactly. I can wash my dick. If cheeto dust gets inside that analog stick it's not ever coming out

[–] bstix@feddit.dk 10 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] AVincentInSpace@pawb.social 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Lick my fucking controller? Eugh! Who knows what kinda germs are on that thing. At least licking a penis is actually fun.

[–] Ediacarium@feddit.org 13 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Agreed. But that doesn't work with the analog stick

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 24 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Doritos hands touch my dick all the time...

[–] Fisch@discuss.tchncs.de 25 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Do you happen to moderate any discord servers by chance?

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

Only the important ones.

[–] ARk@lemm.ee 1 points 2 days ago

Just lick it off.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's ok if she uses chopsticks!

[–] laz@lemmy.umucat.day 1 points 1 day ago

We need c/sounding

That just gives her a dorito flavoured dick to enjoy!

[–] xavier666@lemm.ee 2 points 2 days ago

Yes, the small particles hurt like hell like low power bee stings...or so I have been told

[–] Tikiporch@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

Keep your dick beaters off of me!

[–] LANIK2000@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago

Hehe, no offense to my gf, but yea, it do be like that.

[–] dragonfucker@lemmy.nz 0 points 2 days ago

When drag was growing up, all of the siblings had assigned controllers. Drag made sure of that. The little ones got to touch their own greasy filth, and drag's was nice and clean. If drag had to touch a sibling's controller, drag needed to wash drag's claws or it wouldn't feel right.