this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] count_dongulus@lemmy.world 221 points 6 days ago (8 children)

750 a year? Wtf is this retard smoking. Cost for land, hay storage, water, vet, and farrier. Human time cost to feed them twice a day, get rid of or spread the shit. Blanket, saddle, bridle. You're looking at a few thousand a year minus the time sink.

[–] oce@jlai.lu 94 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (4 children)

This article says 8 to 11k yearly. https://horserookie.com/average-horse-cost-by-state/

While cost of owning a car is between 3k and 9k yearly according to https://www.move.org/average-cost-owning-a-car/.

I would have thought that a horse would be much more expensive, like 10 times a car cost.

[–] xploit@lemmy.world 19 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Interesting, I recall a colleague in UK mention that it was costing her up to 20k a year. That was her max but not always/everywhere - would have been almost 30k USD at the time, so it sounds considerably cheaper in US but obviously a lot more land available and affordable

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[–] iii@mander.xyz 34 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Almost all of those problems are solved by your local park.

Vet costs can be reduced by the skillfull application of healing stones.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 20 points 6 days ago

horse sick? get a new one

[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 25 points 6 days ago (8 children)

Yep. Once upon a time, you had to be very wealthy to own a car.

Now it's horses.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 45 points 6 days ago (4 children)

0 emissions

FYI: Horses fart and methane is a greenhouse gas more potent than carbon dioxide.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago

I'm also intrigued by the "costs $1000 and $750/year to maintain" claim, as the horse people I know spend closer to 20x that.

[–] solarbabies@lemmy.world 13 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Humans also fart methane, is that a reason not to ride them?

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[–] fuckwit_mcbumcrumble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 110 points 6 days ago (22 children)

Zero emissions? I know people find it ha ha funny, but farts legitimately contain methane and other green house gassses.

Cows for example are a large contributor of GHG

[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 41 points 6 days ago (2 children)

plus if we had as many horses as we did cars we would be living in a horse shit apocalypse.

[–] iii@mander.xyz 30 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Compress into brick, then build tower. Now you also have tower.

[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I generously donate my castle composed entirely out of horse shit to you kind sir.

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[–] doggle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 41 points 6 days ago (2 children)

$750 a year to maintain health

Lol

[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 15 points 6 days ago

$750/month if you have to stable it.

[–] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago

Yeah, this might be 750 dollars worth of bottom of the barrel, wholesale, oats needed to give the average horse enough calories to survive.

[–] UltraGiGaGigantic@lemmy.ml 35 points 6 days ago (7 children)

You will get an OWI if you ride a horse drunk.

Source: I know a guy who trained his horse to ride from the bar to his house on its own. Cops still pulled him over because he was sleeping on the horse.

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[–] echodot@feddit.uk 30 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Where is this guy getting a horse for $1,000 from?

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 22 points 6 days ago (7 children)

I mean if you want any old horse and can transport it you can often get them for free. They're like pianos

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

you can often get them for free

The maintenance cost of a "free" horse is anything but

[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Oh I'm not discounting that. Free pianos don't tend to be cheap either to get tuned, and that's if you can even tune them in the first place.

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[–] loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works 56 points 6 days ago (2 children)

I feel hay and grass may end up more expensive than anon thinks... For grass, you need a big place where your horse can graze. Anon either is such a big landowner or intends to rent such land, but it won't be cheap. Then the hay for when the horse is kept indoors... Gotta be a lot of hay. And the means of bringing and storing the hay may be of non-negligible price. Then there are vet bills, because horses can get sick or injured...

I knew someone who owned horses long ago. Well, more like someone whose parents owned horses since we were kids. They even had a coach that these horses could pull. But they didn't use it as a means of transportation unless just doing a simple roundtrip for leisure, and there's a simple reason for that: You can't leave your horse for hours on a parking spot. You can tie it up somewhere maybe, but not for a long time, there aren't many places fit for leaving horses nowadays.

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[–] Mercuri@lemmy.world 54 points 6 days ago (8 children)

From what little I know about horses, almost all your time is spent trying to make sure they don't kill themselves. I can leave my vechile outside in the cold for weeks at a time and not have to think about it.

[–] nutsack@lemmy.world 15 points 6 days ago

if you tie it up outside and leave it there and it dies it didn't kill itself

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[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 32 points 6 days ago (5 children)

That is a shockingly cheap horse.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 33 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Ignoring lack of parking, slow travel and waste disposal, it's more like 3-6k if you already live on a farm. 5-10k if you board it with someone, and you'll likely need a car to get you to the stables.

A bicycle however...

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 13 points 6 days ago

Believe it or not, riding a horse while drunk is also an offense in many places.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 9 points 6 days ago (7 children)

Except you can't drink and ride a bike in many areas. I doubt most cops would enforce it though.

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[–] SanndyTheManndy@lemmy.world 55 points 6 days ago (3 children)

Horses can't be beat in the post-apocalypse for speed, but for most other things you probably want a donkey or mule. Far sturdier, easier to handle, can eat anything, and has no regard for wolves.

[–] Deme@sopuli.xyz 17 points 6 days ago (12 children)

As long as there's roads or smooth paths left, an ordinary person can do 200 km in a day on a bicycle. A quick search tells me that specifically trained horses can do 160 km in an endurance race. Sure a horse would probably be the fastest in a sprint, but a bicycle has the best travel speed.

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[–] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 37 points 6 days ago (1 children)

These prices are ridiculously incorrect, but we can dream and strive to build a horsepilled world.

[–] Trainguyrom@reddthat.com 11 points 6 days ago

My in-laws have some horses on their little hobby farm. They grow and bale their own hay which gives them an excuse to play with their antique tractors and makes it affordable enough to keep the "hay burners" around. I agree the prices anon provides are pretty rediculously low

[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 36 points 6 days ago (6 children)

I'd feel bad about leaving them tied to a tree while I'm at work, so I'd probably just go with a bike which is fueled by snacks and doesn't even shit!

!micromobility@lemmy.world ftw

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[–] Ajen@sh.itjust.works 35 points 6 days ago

False - you can get a DUI on a horse (in some states).

[–] vordalack@lemm.ee 19 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I don’t think the horse pill means what anon thinks it means…

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[–] svcg@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 6 days ago (1 children)

What constitutes reliable is a matter of opinion I suppose, but the first concrete statement of fact:

0 emissions

Wrong, right out of the gate.

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[–] LNRDrone@sopuli.xyz 29 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Where the fuck you store it though? A shitty car you can park anywhere, a horse is gonna take some space. Especially for us poor fucks where the temperature drops below freezing for part of the year. Car just maybe not gonna start today, a horse might not start ever again.

[–] iii@mander.xyz 25 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

Consider horse a room mate. Finally someone to talk to.

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[–] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 27 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)
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[–] cheeseburger@lemmy.ca 15 points 6 days ago

I'm just here to appreciate horseface gigachad, nei-ei-ei-ei-eighhhhh 😆

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 21 points 6 days ago (2 children)

The lowest emission vehicle you can own is an electric bike.*

Will cost 1–4k and way less than $750 annually in maintenance. Can get a road-only one or one capable of going off-road. Does not require insurance or licensing. Can't legally drink and ride, but you're very unlikely to get caught if you do, and unlike drink driving the risk is overwhelmingly only to yourself.

Keeps you fit and healthy by being active in your daily life.

* yes, lower even than an analogue bike, because the electric motor is more carbon efficient than human muscle power which requires eating more.

[–] Waryle@jlai.lu 18 points 6 days ago (5 children)

yes, lower even than an analogue bike, because the electric motor is more carbon efficient than human muscle power which requires eating more.

Everytime I saw this claim, it ended up being bullshit. What's your source?

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[–] FuryMaker@lemmy.world 18 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Faster travel > everything else

[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 24 points 6 days ago (2 children)
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[–] GrymEdm@lemmy.world 20 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (5 children)

I know it's a joke. If I was taking it seriously: I don't want to spend several hours getting to a job that's already say, an hour's commute. And then storing the horse at the job and then several hours back.

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[–] theacharnian@lemmy.ca 13 points 6 days ago (7 children)
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[–] ieatpwns@lemmy.world 12 points 6 days ago (2 children)

Also the cost of fixing a horse is a new horse

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