this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2024
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[–] comador@lemmy.world 143 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Great until it grabs some skin or hair

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 99 points 2 months ago (3 children)

sleeps in the nude

Nutsack gets pinched

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 96 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Everyone knows you're supposed to wear a gambeson beneath your chainmail. Leather or padded cloth is best.

Ergo, full body gimp suit before bed

[–] meliaesc@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

Oh good so I just need the chainmail.

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I understand that reference

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago (3 children)

A not quite twenty year old thread where a guy got his nuts pinched in a chair and asked the internet for help

https://www.fark.com/comments/2018473/Im-stuck-to-my-chair-Im-so-very-scared-Help-Details-In-thread

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

It seems very likely that I don't want to click that, but I appreciate the clarification.

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I can confirm that’s the source. Don’t worry about clicking it, most of the images are lost to time.

Which is a shame. It was hilarious.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Maybe we should have some kind of archive of the internet so this isn't a concern! Oh wait.

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[–] Wolf314159@startrek.website 33 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Have you ever worn chainmail without an undershirt? Or gambeson? It feels neat at first. Never had to worry about pinching. It didn't grab any hair. The metal will feel cool and smooth all night. But oh Lord, the awful pain it will bring to unprotected virgin nipples. Like surfing for a hundred years without a rash guard all in one hedonistic night concentrated on the area less than two dimes. NEVER AGAIN. A couple bandaids or pasties the next time and all is good.

I think you'll be fine with just a top sheet between you and the chainmail.

[–] Event_Horizon@lemmy.world 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

So what you're saying is, he needs to add nipple holes!

[–] atomicorange@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

This explains the lesser known war cry of

"Don't fire until you see the pink of their nips"

[–] umbrella@lemmy.ml 20 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

ill buzz my entire body for the heatsinking properties of aluminium, on this infernal heat

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[–] imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 72 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Prevents some forms of murder!

[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 48 points 2 months ago

Assassin shows up like. Bro whatthefuck is this?

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[–] rsuri@lemmy.world 68 points 2 months ago (1 children)

And unlike most kinds of chain mail, this one is also effective at protecting the user from any thrusting attacks that could lead to penetration.

[–] scutiger@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Some of us are into penetration

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[–] ODuffer@lemmy.world 64 points 2 months ago

You got Mail

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 48 points 2 months ago (6 children)

They make loosely braided weighted blankets. They won't be as cool as this, but they allow for plenty of weight while still maintaining good airflow. And a far lower risk of scrotum/labia/nipple tragedy.

[–] Tai@lemm.ee 18 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Any of those would make a great band name.

[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Wait holy shit you're right:

Risk of Scrotum

Risk of Labia

Risk of Nipple

Scrotum Tragedy

Labia Tragedy

Nipple Tragedy

Far Lower Scrotum

Far Lower Labia

Far Lower Nipple (uh?)

Lower Scrotum Tragedy

Lower Labia Tragedy

Lower Nipple Tragedy (ok, idk who had a lower Nipple but it's weird that it's in the list twice)

Lower Risk Scrotum

Lower Risk Labia

Lower Risk Nipple

Shit, this might be the biggest combo of band names in a single sentence I've ever seen

[–] SmackemWittadic@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Far Lower Nipple (uh?)

That's the clitoris I think

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[–] conciselyverbose@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 months ago

I'd be more interested in this for the weight. I want more weighted blanket than I can usually find, and I'm guessing this is heavier than that.

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[–] Restaldt@lemmy.world 39 points 2 months ago

Bros 'tism yearns for the smithy

[–] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (4 children)
[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Yeah my pubes would get stuck in there too lol ouch

[–] PrimeErective@startrek.website 4 points 2 months ago

That's rash city, Jake, rash city!

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[–] nick@midwest.social 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ow my leg hair ow my back hair ow my arm hair.

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What’s worse is this looks like butted mail instead of riveted mail, so it’ll have lots and lots of little snaggy pokey bits.

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I can't tell from the potato quality of the pic, but that's likely. Additionally, for contact with anything that hasn't got a layer of leather between it and me, I would really prefer to have welded rings. Riveted ones are also quite the chafe.

It appears that whatever pattern this is isn't a typical 1-in-4 or 1-in-6, so I have no idea how it's actually constructed.

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[–] Fosheze@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Fuck, now I want to get into making chainmail. Time to pick up another hobby I guess.

[–] Cenotaph@mander.xyz 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Careful, from what I hear its an incredibly time consuming one

[–] Fosheze@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's like knitting but for MEN™.

~/s obviously~

[–] Cenotaph@mander.xyz 7 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Coming in scents like "PRIMEVAL GRIME" and "WOODCHIPPER"

[–] Fosheze@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Primeval Grime is my favorite music genre.

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[–] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

That's an understatement.

If anyone does want to get into it, don't do steel. Steel is cheap as shit, but you'll get carpal tunnel before you finish your first bag, belt or tie.

Idk if you can get like 16 gauge aluminum wire, but that would be far easier to work with. Or brass. just don't do steel

[–] JiveTurkey@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

Seems like you would want to use stainless steel instead of aluminum if you're going for weight.

Edit: Yes I realize there are better conductors of heat but for the sake of using corrosion resistant welding materials I went with stainless.

[–] kitnaht@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Stainless is an insulator of heat. In fact, it's used in 3D printers to avoid heat traveling up the path where the filament is fed in from.

Copper with a silver or rhodium plating would be a good choice otherwise. Copper has a higher thermal conductivity than aluminum, and silver does as well, but is also hypoallergenic.

[–] JiveTurkey@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I wouldn't call it an insulator but it is a poor conductor of heat compared to aluminum. I think in this situation either one would be capable of dissipating heat better than just about any blanket.

[–] kitnaht@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

You would be wrong in not calling it an insulator. Sorry.

https://www.engineeringtoolbox.com/thermal-conductivity-metals-d_858.html

Feel free to look at the chart linked above and compare to almost any other common metal.

Air has a thermal conductivity of 0.028 W/(mK)
Copper, around 413 W/(m
K)
Stainless is 14 W/(m*K)

In so far as metals go, stainless is a heat insulator.

[–] JiveTurkey@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Right, like I said a poor thermal conductivity but as far as blankets go, you won't find anyone attempting to get warm with chainmail because it would unfortunately result in an increased loss of body heat. In so far as blankets go, not an insulator.

Also worth mentioning I was trying to stay in the real of possibilities and this case stainless wire is readily available in many forms for welding, and would resist oxidation better than copper. Obviously we can just name the best conductors of heat.

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[–] RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Is this how those people ended up with random piercings/earrings all over their body? Like Xerxes in 300.

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 10 points 2 months ago

He wakes everyone within a hundred foot radius every time he tosses & turns

[–] RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 months ago

Earplugs were a game changer for my sleep.

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