For when I have to take a piss I like to say "I'll have to take a trip to the drinks return"
Works a bit better in German because of our bottle return system
this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2024
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"Gotta sit on my thinking chair for a bit" or "lemme go listen to my own shit for a while"
Usually in dutch tho, "ff op de denkstoel zitten" or "even naar m'n eigen gezijk luisteren"
“Drop a grumpy”
– Johnny Depp testifying against Amber Heard
I tell my wife I have to go blast a dookie.
It’s a Simpson reference.
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Not pooping, but whenever i have gas, I say I ate a kitten. Not many people get it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sjRO6BQFMw
Hard insider, "Doing an Olli". We had a coworker named Oliver and when ever we were at a customer on site he not only showed up late but always went straight for the toilets making us wait even longer.
Gotta run, I'm groundhogging!
Sorry im late for the meeting folks. I just took a massive bio break.
Where do you people take your excrement?
I tend to leave mine. Sometimes I even flush them..
Two of my favourites are:
- I'm touching cloth.
- Dropping the kids off at the pool.
I gotta go hang a mud snake.
I'm gonna knit a brown sweater. If you guess what I'm gonna do, I'll let you have half of it.
I have to see a man about a horse.
I tell my dog "dookies get cookies" when she's taking too long to find the PERFECT spot to drop a giant soft serve ice cream cone.
I have to turn a bolus
My IBS is flaring up. Be back in 30.
Instant weight loss plan.
Time to lighten my load.
Gotta unload
Gotta pack a bowl
Gotta flush a bowl
Gotta pay homage to the porcelain gods..
Do pardon my absence, for it seems my coffee has stimulated gastrin production, triggering peristalsis and thus motility of a log flume near my nethers.
Toodle-oo (to the loo) as you leave the room. That's what I say to my cats at least.
Gotta go ponder the mysteries of the universe.
Gotta go release my fear.
Gotta go pop a squat.
Gotta go stop a penalty kick.
"I gotta see a man about a horse" Cowboy Curtis used this one on Pee Wee's Playhouse
I'm off to strain the spuds.
Time for the most productive part of my day
I have to back one out
Though it's in Spanish, a good translation would be: The mole is poking out.
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