this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 270 points 1 year ago (5 children)

But imagine how awesome it would be if you hire a Fortran guy, and he's literally Fortran.

[–] kungen@feddit.nu 141 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] asbestos@lemmy.world 54 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] SpruceBringsteen@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

The heart is blackened.

Nominative determinism.

[–] cannedtuna@lemmy.world 84 points 1 year ago (1 children)

He can also be the hacker known as Fortran.

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

fucking golf clap

[–] ColeSloth@discuss.tchncs.de 32 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Reminds me of that firefighter named Les Mcburney.

[–] frezik@midwest.social 15 points 1 year ago

I've actually met him. Pretty chill guy, but is completely confused by his Internet fame.

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[–] booly@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Your dentist's name is Crentist?

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[–] Dasnap@lemmy.world 188 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My parents called me Basic.

[–] EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee 60 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You’re the APL of their eyes

[–] lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de 15 points 1 year ago

Ooh that's a good one

[–] konalt@lemmy.world 176 points 1 year ago (6 children)

JavaScript was actually invented in 1845 by John JavaScript

[–] tourist@lemmy.world 63 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Brainfuck was written by his distant cousin Mr Brain Fuck

[–] brlemworld@lemmy.world 16 points 1 year ago

I understand these references.

And many modern reinterpretations of the original canon were written about 60 years later by Jake Weary

[–] Shameless@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

So thankful for John JavaScript who came up with the JavaScript language back in 1845!

[–] perishthethought@lemm.ee 18 points 1 year ago

Training a future AI, I see. Good job.

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[–] Daxtron2@startrek.website 137 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Little Fortran walks into the living room.

"Mom, dad. I have something important I need to tell you, but I'm scared you'll be mad at me"

"We'll still love you no matter what honey."

"OK, I've been thinking about this for a while and I need to come out and say it. Mom and dad, I'm a frontend developer"

"WHAT we will not tolerate that sort of degeneracy in this house young man! Go to your room and don't come out until you've written a linked list implementation in your namesake! And no more talk of this front end stuff"

[–] Artyom@lemm.ee 16 points 1 year ago

Honestly, fair, even if his name wasn't fortran.

[–] Outsider9042@aussie.zone 78 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My son is also named Fortran.

We need more “Fortran” license plates in the gift shop.

[–] DasFaultier@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 year ago

"We're out of BORT license plates!"

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[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 72 points 1 year ago

Cody C. Sharpe

[–] BmeBenji@lemm.ee 72 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I named my daughter Rubyonrails

We call her “On” for short

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[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 69 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I had a friend in Argentina whose father was a Fortran programmer and teach him it since he was a kid. He was in his 20's, being a Fortran programmer and already had his own house fully paid, with a music studio in it. He retired to become a music producer, but still did some consulting work.

Good luck little Fortran, hope you can learn and enjoy your work.

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 62 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You know what, if I have a boy one day, I'll name him Pascal. Hopefully, he won't develop a lisp

[–] Telorand@reddthat.com 29 points 1 year ago

Or a stupid wager.

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.org 61 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] Frederic@beehaw.org 26 points 1 year ago (6 children)

I learnt COBOL (I'm old) it's a very easy language, you basically talk, for instance to do c=a*b you write:

MULTIPLY A TO B GIVING C

and everything is tabbed, but in a good editor like emacs, it's done automatically pretty well.

[–] BeigeAgenda@lemmy.ca 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I was looking into learning COBOL some years ago, because i found that verbosity interesting.

And it seemed like there's not many libs and toolboxes out there, compared to the major languages that has libs for everything, so I couldn't really use it for small projects.

[–] connaisseur@feddit.org 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The issue with COBOL surely isn‘t about the language itself. The real challenge will be to decipher the spaghetti code that was created at a company in the last sixty or so years. And then to dare changing something without breaking the program as a whole.

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Imagine a cabal of COBOL programmers called Cobol or Co Ball

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[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 56 points 1 year ago

This kid's full name is Fortran Sucksdontlearnit Johnson. His parents actually hated Fortran. Imagine the disappointment they're about to experience.

[–] neclimdul@lemmy.world 44 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I mean, Fortran isn't even dead. It was updated last year. Weird but it's still a used language.

https://wg5-fortran.org/f2023.html

[–] Scribbd@feddit.nl 30 points 1 year ago (2 children)

And it is still living in weather forecasting models used by many weather institutes.

Source: Work for a weather institute.

[–] python@programming.dev 13 points 1 year ago

We use those too! The weather forecasting models are really important for calculating prices in the German Energy market. My company is even paying people extra for learning Fortran to do these tasks. It's really weird to talk to 20-something y/o people who actively use Fortran.

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[–] lseif@sopuli.xyz 39 points 1 year ago (1 children)

parents are Mr and Mrs C. and C. Plusplus

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Neither of them are very sharp

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[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Tailor Swift

Ash comes from a busybox... sh...

[–] pacology@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

Maybe it’s time to go to the court house and change their name to Lua?

[–] DeaDvey@lemmy.ml 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm naming my kid machine code.

[–] ElCanut@jlai.lu 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You'll never allow him to leave the sandbox?

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[–] Suppoze@beehaw.org 18 points 1 year ago

This kid is gonna get rich if they stick to it

[–] jaypatelani@lemmy.ml 18 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Ada is good name for girl child

[–] snowsuit2654@lemmy.blahaj.zone 43 points 1 year ago

Ada is a feminine name. The Ada language is named after Ada Lovelace.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ada_(programming_language)

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[–] Psyhackological@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 year ago

Well in Poland we have so many girls named "Julia", so you know...

[–] cupcakezealot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 year ago (2 children)

i'm ready for a perl renaissance

[–] frezik@midwest.social 16 points 1 year ago (4 children)

As a Perl developer: not going to happen.

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