"Girl, I named no variables after you, because you're my only Constant"
Programmer Humor
Post funny things about programming here! (Or just rant about your favourite programming language.)
Rules:
- Posts must be relevant to programming, programmers, or computer science.
- No NSFW content.
- Jokes must be in good taste. No hate speech, bigotry, etc.
smooth π
Youβll need an exception handler for all those dropping panties.
"Girl, you are my Two's Complement, you're always my plus one on any occaision"
Cuz if you invert the bits of of a binary number and add one you get its negative number, so your girlfried is an equal part of you
Pay for dinner
Once when I was still a kid, I told a woman I loved her so much that I could only love her more if she was a robot.
She did not think that was romantic.
I forked an opensource project to add a couple features for my wife. π
And? Did she accept your, err, pull request? π
"LGTM, merged" π
Remember kids, always use protected branches.
and remember, no means no. if git doesnt want you to merge, dont --force
it
Pushing directly to main just feels better.
I prefer "master"
I made a website for my wife with a list of a ton of reasons why I love her and each time she taps the screen it shows a new one.
So... that is a thing you can do for the cost of a domain name and some cheap hosting.
The creator of MySQL, MaxDB and MariaDB named them after his children My, Max and Maria, so why not
after his children My
I thought you were kidding, but his daughter is actually named "My".
It helps that it's a name in another language (Finnish), where βmyβ isn't a word, at all.
βThe two hardest problems in programming are cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.β
The original have been quite great even without adding the bit about off-by-one errors.
I was thinking about you when I cleaned up this codebase and removed a lot of redundant functions.
That sounds more like breaking up.
The employee that left the mess was already long gone unfortunately
When I was learning programming I wrote a small program that I called for_you.exe. It printed an animated ASCII penis ejaculating on some boobs. I emailed it to my girlfriend and thankfully she thought it was hilarious. We're still together.
You can tell your age by the fact that you were emailing an exe file.
And she was just running random exe files from emails.
git branch testing.stephanie.slept.with.my.friend.brad
I wrote an automation specifically for my partner to unlock the front door when they arrive home.
Also we got a sexy time button.
Home Assistant is a path to what many would consider... Unnatural.
The GNU kernel was not originally supposed to be called the Hurd. Its original name was Alixβnamed after the woman who was my sweetheart at the time. She, a Unix system administrator, had pointed out how her name would fit a common naming pattern for Unix system versions; as a joke, she told her friends, βSomeone should name a kernel after me.β I said nothing, but decided to surprise her with a kernel named Alix.
I use friends and family as sample data for unit/integration tests.
At a previous job, I tested an automated email system by scheduling fake events for various US presidents. I've long left that position, but I never cleaned up the test data. Every month I still get a reminder for Nixon's upcoming reservation at the Watergate Hotel.
MySQL, MariaDB, and MaxScale are all named after Ulf "Monty" Widenius' kids
Name a linux distro after her and yourself. Always works.
Well, that would be nice...