this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 25 points 1 year ago (3 children)

"Girl, I named no variables after you, because you're my only Constant"

smooth πŸ‘

[–] Supertramper@feddit.de 4 points 1 year ago

You’ll need an exception handler for all those dropping panties.

[–] TerryTPlatypus@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

"Girl, you are my Two's Complement, you're always my plus one on any occaision"

Cuz if you invert the bits of of a binary number and add one you get its negative number, so your girlfried is an equal part of you

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[–] cantstopthesignal@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] MajorHavoc@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

For being a sick burn, that was ice cold. I love it.

[–] Caboose12000@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

lmfao savage

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

Once when I was still a kid, I told a woman I loved her so much that I could only love her more if she was a robot.

She did not think that was romantic.

[–] UnRelatedBurner@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

there are so many things wrong with this

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[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I forked an opensource project to add a couple features for my wife. 😊

[–] some_designer_dude@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And? Did she accept your, err, pull request? 😏

[–] olafurp@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] dukk@programming.dev 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Remember kids, always use protected branches.

[–] lseif@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

and remember, no means no. if git doesnt want you to merge, dont --force it

[–] dodslaser@feddit.nu 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pushing directly to main just feels better.

[–] doppelgangmember@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I prefer "master"

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[–] Jtskywalker@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago (5 children)

I made a website for my wife with a list of a ton of reasons why I love her and each time she taps the screen it shows a new one.

So... that is a thing you can do for the cost of a domain name and some cheap hosting.

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[–] Nsh@lemmy.ca 6 points 1 year ago (3 children)

The creator of MySQL, MaxDB and MariaDB named them after his children My, Max and Maria, so why not

[–] dan@upvote.au 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

after his children My

I thought you were kidding, but his daughter is actually named "My".

[–] lord_ryvan@ttrpg.network 2 points 1 year ago

It helps that it's a name in another language (Finnish), where β€œmy” isn't a word, at all.

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[–] neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

β€œThe two hardest problems in programming are cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one errors.”

[–] rikudou@lemmings.world 1 points 1 year ago

The original have been quite great even without adding the bit about off-by-one errors.

[–] naevaTheRat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was thinking about you when I cleaned up this codebase and removed a lot of redundant functions.

[–] float@feddit.de 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

That sounds more like breaking up.

[–] QuazarOmega@lemy.lol 2 points 1 year ago

The employee that left the mess was already long gone unfortunately

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[–] noodle@feddit.uk 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (2 children)

When I was learning programming I wrote a small program that I called for_you.exe. It printed an animated ASCII penis ejaculating on some boobs. I emailed it to my girlfriend and thankfully she thought it was hilarious. We're still together.

[–] bigkahuna1986@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You can tell your age by the fact that you were emailing an exe file.

[–] sim642@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

And she was just running random exe files from emails.

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[–] efrique@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

git branch testing.stephanie.slept.with.my.friend.brad

[–] SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] zeekaran@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 year ago

I wrote an automation specifically for my partner to unlock the front door when they arrive home.

Also we got a sexy time button.

Home Assistant is a path to what many would consider... Unnatural.

The GNU kernel was not originally supposed to be called the Hurd. Its original name was Alixβ€”named after the woman who was my sweetheart at the time. She, a Unix system administrator, had pointed out how her name would fit a common naming pattern for Unix system versions; as a joke, she told her friends, β€œSomeone should name a kernel after me.” I said nothing, but decided to surprise her with a kernel named Alix.

Source: https://www.gnu.org/gnu/thegnuproject.en.html

I use friends and family as sample data for unit/integration tests.

At a previous job, I tested an automated email system by scheduling fake events for various US presidents. I've long left that position, but I never cleaned up the test data. Every month I still get a reminder for Nixon's upcoming reservation at the Watergate Hotel.

[–] NeonPayload@infosec.pub 2 points 1 year ago
[–] Semi-Hemi-Demigod@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago (2 children)

MySQL, MariaDB, and MaxScale are all named after Ulf "Monty" Widenius' kids

[–] zomtecos@feddit.de 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

His first kid was called β€žMyβ€œ?

[–] stefenauris@pawb.social 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] halvar@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

Name a linux distro after her and yourself. Always works.

[–] Pandybear24@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

Well, that would be nice...

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