Based on the popular looter shooters developed by Gearbox and published by 2K Games, Borderlands was first announced all the way back in 2020. The movie is being directed by Eli Roth and has been in production hell for years now. But finally, our long national nightmare is almost over as Borderlands arrives in theaters on August 9. Sadly, I’m not sure its going to be worth the wait based on a scene released earlier today during IGN Live’s Day 1 showcase.

In the new scene, we see Roland (Kevin Hart), Lilith (Cate Blanchett), Tiny Tina (Ariana Greenblatt), Kireg (Florian Munteanu), and Claptrap (voice by Jack Black) in a dark underground facility filled with boxes and not many lights. It’s hard to see what’s happening.

This is supposed to be an action-packed sequence from a major motion picture, but it feels more like a pre-recorded skit from a so-so episode of Saturday Night Live. Enemies get shot and just fall down with no blood or gore, characters move around slowly even though this is meant to be a fast-paced sequence, and all of this is done to generic music that you’ll forget about the moment the scene ends.

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[–] rbesfe@lemmy.ca 126 points 5 months ago (4 children)

The fact they chose Kevin Hart to play Roland shows how little they care about the games themselves

[–] MeatsOfRage@lemmy.world 54 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (5 children)

Or Cate Blanchett. Like if me and my friends were dream casting this movie one of us would say Cate Blanchett as a joke and we'd all laugh and move on. Don't get me wrong, she's one of my favorite actresses, you can Tar and feather me all day but this was frankly a bizarre call.

Reminds me of the show Barry, the character Sally is on a press circuit and someone throws the question at her "Who should play the next Spiderman" and confused by the question she says Ben Mendelson

[–] JJROKCZ@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Looks wise Hayley Williams is great for Lilith, don’t think she acts but there has to be a ginger actress other that Karen Gillian interested

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[–] bigmclargehuge@lemmy.world 9 points 5 months ago

Me and my sister have a running joke casting for a movie of the Uncharted games, I'm pretty sure Danny DeVito was Sully and Mel Gibson was Elena. I'd rather watch something that stupid than something as uninspired as this.

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[–] oxideseven@lemmy.ca 30 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Or Jack Black. I love him, but this dumb Hollywood trend of hiring Jack for anything comical is absurd.

[–] w3dd1e@lemm.ee 20 points 5 months ago

Supposedly he met the creators at a party after the first game came out and asked to play claptrap. I don’t have a source to share with you, but if that’s true then I’m fine with it.

But yeah, most of this movie looks very bad.

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 21 points 5 months ago (2 children)

It's all IP baby. They think we are the unwashed masses with no taste or critical thinking and just consume whatever they excrete.

[–] fsxylo@sh.itjust.works 23 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

Close, but they genuinely think video games are a lesser medium than movies. So of course they don't take this movie, or our standards seriously.

[–] zaphod@sopuli.xyz 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I think some game developers think like this too, that's why they try to turn their games into movies, either directly or by making their games more "cinematic".

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[–] sukhmel@programming.dev 7 points 5 months ago

At the same time movies based on a recognized intellectual property tend to omit crucial pieces of character and world building, because come on, the audience is supposed to know that.

And this is how they often produce garbage that is impossible to understand if you are not in the know, and impossible to watch if you are ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 19 points 5 months ago

My personal theory is that they wanted The Rock (who would be straight out of central casting for Roland) but he declined and so some exec was like "okay, just use KH instead, they both work together on a lot of the same movies"

[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 69 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (3 children)

The Bad:

No Marcus narration. How are they so out of touch with the source material to miss THAT one? And there's like... five guns. And while I like all the actors, what the hell are they doing playing those characters? Claptrap already had a voice, and it sure wasn't jack black. Poop jokes. They'd be fine if they were, you know, funny. But they weren't. How do you fuck up a poop joke?? The absolute lack of a coherent timeline that follows the canon. How is Tiny Tina the most subdued performance in the whole trailer? WHERE THE HELL ARE LILITH'S TATTOOS? Why are the cars so... lame? Why is the part where the narration says "Weirdest and most dangerous world" playing over a shot of random boulders? Why is Roland being played by a comedian? Where the hell is Zer0? Mordecai? HANDSOME JACK? Chris Sabat isn't listed on the cast so we're not getting Mr. Torgue. There's no vending machines. This fight is so rough it looks like I choreographed it. NO HAMMERLOCK.

The Good:

Florian Munteanu (Krieg) doesn't have a shirt on.

The Bad Again:

This movie isn't 1hr30min of Florian Munteanu not wearing a shirt and hitting things. Preferably in slow motion, and glistening. Maybe throw in some cute Pandorian animals, too. How cute must a baby skag be? I don't know, but I want to find out the answer.

I mean come on you could do ANYTHING with this, a feature length movie just of Granny Flexington's Story Corner would be lauded as one of the best troll moves in history. Sure, I'd go and throw a brick through Gearbox's windows for that, but I'd make sure nobody was behind said window first. ... Probably.

Both this clip and the first clip emphasize the same poop joke. And that's a problem. Somehow they've managed to make poop jokes in Borderlands a problem.

And keep in mind this is the scene the producers and people involved thought was good enough to debut online. This is what they are selling the movie on. This is their big “Take a look at this and get excited!” clip. If that’s the case, well, I fear for the rest of the movie.

Sums it up pretty well. I'm just astounded by how awful this is going to be. This looks bad enough I'm not even going to hate watch it, just... just no.

[–] polonius-rex@kbin.run 21 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

Poop jokes

it creates symmetry when paired with the pee joke from the trailer
honestly this is the part that feels most on brand for the game

This fight looks like I choreographed it

atlas had better fight choreography, and 90% of that movie was arguing with siri

[–] all-knight-party@kbin.run 9 points 5 months ago

Yeah, I hope people don't mistake bad comedy for letting the games down. The games probably got a laugh out of me once every 75 jokes.

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 60 points 5 months ago (2 children)

I had already resigned this movie to the shit bin just because they cast a comedian for the role of the only character in the games that was a serious straight man (as in the comedy trope) instead of someone more suitable like Idris Elba.

Then again, maybe they wanted someone else but Hart was the only one who accepted to work on this turd.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 27 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I'd honestly have been interested if Kevin Hart just did Roland instead of being Kevin Hart.

Based on that clip I can't say he's not, it's not like Roland never gives any snark, but I can say Hart is a weird choice for the role by his typecasting. But, hey, maybe he'll break free with this?

[–] Vinny_93@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago

I mean Borderlands 1 Roland is pretty different from the guy allergic to smiling we all know from Borderlands 2. I guess Handsome Jack changes comedians into Idris Elba.

[–] bolexforsoup@lemmy.blahaj.zone 45 points 5 months ago (4 children)

I just don’t understand why this is even being made. Borderlands is definitely nowhere on my list of games I want adapted. I understand I am not the arbiter of what gets made into movies, but it definitely feels like a shared sentiment among the general gaming population lol just feels like a bizarre choice

[–] SkyNTP@lemmy.ml 17 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

It's being made because there is a successful franchise to be exploited to death for the sake of earning a few more pennies for shareholders.

You aren't looking at the creative human spirit here. You are looking at a stupid money printing machine banking purely on the inertia of fans hoping for more of what made the original work of art magical.

[–] bolexforsoup@lemmy.blahaj.zone 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

I get that normally but my point is…can borderlands still be considered a successful franchise in 2024?

BL2 was 13 years old and it’s never hit those heights since. Each mainline release has performed poorly or mediocre and TFTB has been pretty well received but they weren’t huge releases like the main games. They’ve been sort of irrelevant for almost a decade, limping along to middling applause lol

BL3 did well financially for the most part but that was what? 5 years ago? And critically it did poorly/had no staying power. It died pretty quickly.

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[–] acosmichippo@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

they’re about 10 years too late on this. can’t even blame the pandemic.

[–] bolexforsoup@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 5 months ago

Yeah no one has been excited for it in years. It peaked a long time ago. Pre-sequel was a disaster, 3 landed with a mediocre thud, tales has a following but it’s modest. This is not going to go well.

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[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 33 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Yeah it's relying in star power and the drooling masses to get money. It's an awful awful attempt and it's extremely apparent from the trailers that this is going to be hot fucking garbage. The only thing that would potentially save it, is if all this shit was promo trolling and the actual movie used completely different better suited people with better lines etc.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 16 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The only thing that would potentially save it, is if all this shit was promo trolling and the actual movie used completely different better suited people with better lines etc.

That would be hilarious as shit.

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[–] AAA@feddit.de 12 points 5 months ago

Not going to happen. Nobody can afford promo trolling because then people are simply not going. Word to mouth propaganda doesn't bring the masses needed to pay the bills nowadays.

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 9 points 5 months ago (5 children)

I always wished a Batman movie would do that. Imagine going into it and realizing you have no idea who Batman is. That would be fun.

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[–] Wandering_jaguar@lemmy.world 30 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Realistically, celebrities get about 8 movies to perform in their career before my brain is unable to see them as some sort of new character. Kevin Harts comedy stopped carrying his horrible acting about 5 movies ago.

[–] Croquette@sh.itjust.works 32 points 5 months ago (2 children)

It depends on the actor. When you have an actor, like Gary Oldman for example, that really transform into its role, they can play in an infinite number of movies and they won't get boring.

But actors, like The Rock or Kevin Hart, that just play themselves over and over again get tiring fast.

[–] OlPatchy2Eyes@slrpnk.net 11 points 5 months ago

To his credit, the trailer does make it look like Kevin Hart is making a genuine attempt to play Roland from the game. Still a weird casting decision.

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[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 5 months ago (1 children)

After how expertly Fallout nailed its landing by using literal assets from the game for set design...

Yeah this is gonna flop hard.

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[–] archomrade@midwest.social 21 points 5 months ago

Tinytina coyly laughing behind her hand actually made me angry

[–] affiliate@lemmy.world 18 points 5 months ago

it was over as soon they casted kevin hart

[–] leave_it_blank@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Rated PG. It can work (The old Mortal Kombat movie), but this looks like crap.

[–] ryathal@sh.itjust.works 25 points 5 months ago

The casting alone is a reason to be skeptical.

[–] p5yk0t1km1r4ge@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago (2 children)

.....they ruined Roland and Tina, JB, though I love him, is a terrible choice for Claptrap, not really butthurt about the lack of guns (are they supposed to just have a billion guns in every shot or something?), Curtis doesn't give me Tanniss vibes either, though....man, why is Krieg so quiet? Fuck..

[–] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 5 months ago

are they supposed to just have a billion guns in every shot or something?

Fucking. Yes.

I mean, not every shot, but the variety of firearms should absolutely be a big part of every action scene at least. It's Borderlands, and that was it's original claim to fame: countless combinations of procedurally generated guns.

Have your prop department whip them up as different parts that they can stick together, like how the games do it. Firing effects can be added in post.

[–] polonius-rex@kbin.run 8 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

are they supposed to just have a billion guns in every shot or something

a variety of different gun designs would at least be something to look at as the main characters expressionlessly shoot towards their off-screen enemies

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[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 14 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Omg, haven't been this hyped since the live action Dragon Ball movie.

[–] xenoclast@lemmy.world 11 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Almost as hyped as the live action Avatar movie!

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[–] punkwalrus@lemmy.world 13 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I remember hearing that some Hollywood contracts require that if you sign up for some studio, you must make X amount of films. Big stars get to chose those films to some degree, but once in a while, they have to do "a stinker" to end the contract as "X amount of films done, okay?" or something. Contractual Obligation and all. This film feels like a dumping ground of a lot of those contractual obligation hires from the trailer alone.

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 12 points 5 months ago

Requirements like that in the music industry are why there's an excess of Christmas music albums. I like the idea that video game movies and other slush-level movies are the equivalent.

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[–] HeavyRaptor@lemmy.zip 10 points 5 months ago

It's okay. I played Borderlands 3 with voices off, only sfx/background sounds/music. I'm sure I can do the same with this. Maybe turn picture off too while I'm at it.

[–] PM_ME_YOUR_ZOD_RUNES@sh.itjust.works 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (4 children)

Hollywood always fucks up movies based on games. I'm not expecting much from this movie.

[–] MeatsOfRage@lemmy.world 10 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I think we're past this now, we've had a number of good (or at the very least enjoyable) adaptations now, Sonic, Mario, Pikachu. Werewolves Within was really good though no one has heard of the game. And of course TV has been knocking it out of the park, Last of Us, Fallout, Cyberpunk, Castlevania, League of Legends, hell I'd even throw in Twisted Metal. Even stuff about people who play games like Gran Turismo and Players were really good. We also have things that considered bad at the time are being reclaimed like Mortal Kombat

Borderlands is (by the looks of it) just an IP dump which isn't exclusive to video games.

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[–] KingThrillgore@lemmy.ml 10 points 5 months ago

Ah yes, the movie that's lost all of its original writers and been in reshoots for many years.

[–] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 9 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Link to the trailer

https://youtu.be/lU_NKNZljoQ

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[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

The clip doesn't make any sense. Cate Blanchett is shooting people standing up, then she's suddenly inside of a box? When does she gets in the box, why is she suddenly in that box? She doesn't get out of the box either. She's teleported from there box to somewhere else. But now she has a flamethrower.

[–] polonius-rex@kbin.run 18 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Yeah I had the exact same confusion, so I watched it again and she gets tackled into the box, then stands up from inside it.

If this was all in one continuous shot, it would probably be kind of funny. Quite why directors are still making the exact mistakes called out by a 9 minute youtube video 9 years ago is beyond me.

So it looks like bad editing is another thing to get excited about.

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