this post was submitted on 25 May 2024
647 points (98.2% liked)

Greentext

4486 readers
599 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 34 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] deegeese@sopuli.xyz 96 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Farming is the second game breaking exploit discovered by humanity, after persistence hunting.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (5 children)

It's weird that you specify "persistence" in relation to hunting. Why wouldn't something that requires less calorie expenditure, like trapping be more notable? Or if not trapping, then projectile weapons.

[–] LemmySoloHer@lemmy.world 71 points 6 months ago (2 children)

They're probably referencing another greentext from the perspective of a fast sprinting Elk that can't escape the long-distance persistence endurance of a bipedal human hunter:

[–] shneancy@lemmy.world 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

the fact you seem to imply that knowledge about primitive hunting strategies is a reference to a greentext gave me psychic damage

is this not semi-common knowledge? Common among nerds at the very least

[–] LemmySoloHer@lemmy.world 18 points 6 months ago

It is common knowledge, I merely guessed they used that specific hunting strategy over other "food hacks" because this is literally a greentext community.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago

This genetic dead end appears

Never thought I would see/hear this sentence. Of course it would come from 4chan.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 48 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Trapping wasn't invented by humans. Spiderwebs exist. But no other species has the ability to run for as long as humans. We're also one of the best species at throwing objects with precision

[–] pumpkinseedoil@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Daxtron2@startrek.website 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Nope, dogs tire out faster than humans, assuming both are fit and average.

[–] CheeseNoodle@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

iirc dogs do out perform humans but only in cold climates. They're also second place in general which is a big part of how the whole dog thing got started.

[–] Daxtron2@startrek.website 1 points 6 months ago

I guess that makes sense, them having warm coats and all

[–] Drusas@kbin.run 15 points 6 months ago

Humans are better at running long distance than doing short sprints.

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

Weird that you randomly got downvote bombed for asking a question. Lol.

[–] TexMexBazooka@lemm.ee 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

You can’t trap a mammoth, and a mammoth feeds the tribe for weeks

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 months ago

It's thought that the discovery could shed new light on how humans hunted mammoths, with archaeologists surmising that groups of 20 to 30 human hunters would have used torches and branches to separate individual mammoths from the herd, and steer them into the traps.

https://newatlas.com/science/mammoth-hunting-mexico/

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 46 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Hegar@kbin.social 11 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Pfft some glitch, you have to accept a massive nerf to average height, dental hygiene, disease load and interpersonal violence. Broad spectrum subsistence has a much higher skill cap.

[–] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Just farm more than one plant?

[–] frezik@midwest.social 1 points 6 months ago

Instructions unclear, all is corn now.

[–] someguy3@lemmy.ca 42 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Comes out of the fucking ground!

[–] AceSLS@ani.social 15 points 6 months ago

I hate when my freshly grown pizzas start doing that. Always a bother to chase them as soon as they're rolling away

[–] johan@feddit.nl 4 points 6 months ago

That's numberwang!

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 40 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Only works if you use Brawndo -- it's got what plants crave!

[–] kautau@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Hey that’s good. You sure you’re not the smartest guy in the world?

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

I don't think so. I watched "Idiocracy" for years before realizing it has

a brief post-credits scenein which the pimp character wakes up from his cryogenic sleep and goes looking for his money.

[–] Senseless@feddit.de 6 points 6 months ago

It got electrolytes!

[–] SuddenDownpour@sh.itjust.works 29 points 6 months ago

Brainstorming the next conspiracy theory, trying to see who takes the bait.

[–] maynarkh@feddit.nl 27 points 6 months ago

Apparently food does grow on trees!

[–] SlopppyEngineer@lemmy.world 14 points 6 months ago

The trick is getting enough food out of the ground to survive on. Turns out that's a lot of work.

[–] sag@lemm.ee 10 points 6 months ago

Server Owner need to patch this ASAP.

[–] lowleveldata@programming.dev 7 points 6 months ago

I don't get how does it work for food but not gold

[–] AMillionNames@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 months ago

This is meme is going to age badly.

[–] GildorInglorion@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Hupf@feddit.de 1 points 6 months ago

It comes out of the fucking ground!