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My kids are 9 and 7 and this is nearly every dinner time for us over the last few months, it's maddening
Don't give in to terrorists. Male them eat plain white bread if they won't eat what they are served.
No jelly. No peanut butter. Nothing to make it better. Just plain white bread or your supper you were served.
Caveat I don’t have kids.
Can’t kids just miss a meal if they don’t want to eat it? Not like a kid is going to die from one missed meal.
Same here, I don't have kids .... but my best example of parenting were my own parents. Mom made homemade food just about every day when I was a kid. She made food and we had to eat .... had to eat it. There was no option, no opinion or alternative. Mom ran the dinner table like a dictatorship ... there was no say or opinion in the matter ... you were served a plate of food and you ate it.
I don't say that I fully agree with it because I remember bawling my eyes out a few times because I didn't like the meal. However, it did force me to appreciate a lot of different foods because I just didn't know any better back then. Plus I was always taking in plenty of nutrition. One example I always think of now is ... fresh pan fried fish. We are indigenous and mom always pan fried four or five large fresh trout or arctic char (big fish that were about two feet long!) for the family every Friday (because we were also good Christians). She made nothing but pan fried fish, several stacks of them and it was basically all you could eat.
Problem was ... as a dumb kid ... I didn't like fish, so I stayed away from it for several years and just nibbled on it once in a while. Mom would make me eat a whole piece and I would force myself.
Later on, when I was about 18, 19, 20 I started liking the fish but then mom stopped making it all. Now I crave that damned fish and I want to tell my damned kid self to eat that fish and eat as much of it as he can. Man I miss all that fish now. I wish had it again.
Now I go to fish places or order fish specials and none of them taste any good and all I can imagine is mom's platters and platters of fresh fried fish that my uncles caught that afternoon. I'm sorry mom :(
I mean ... Of your mom's still around... Maybe buy fish and like, ask to learn the recipe and cook it yourself? I'm not a mom, I'm a dad, but I cook a lot and if my kid wanted to learn what I do when cooking, that'd be cool.
Sadly mom passed away about ten years ago. And I'm not ashamed to say I'm a pretty good cook, mom actually taught me a lot as I worked alongside her in a fastfood joint we ran for a few years. And yes I've cooked wild fish myself before, it's a huge job and it's also a rare event. I no longer live near my original home so I can't find, buy or even get the same wild fish. And mom made them in the most heavy batter cooked in pure lard. It's not exactly healthy to make. The thing I miss is the circumstance of it all ... I was young, I was kid, I could eat whatever I wanted no matter how unhealthy it was and mom made it a particular way with a particular pan in a very haphazard kitchen with an old propane stove. No matter how much I may try, I'll never be able to replicate one piece of fish, let alone an entire platter of the stuff. I know most of mom's recipes now, the easy ones at least .... but I'll never get those same fish I remembered as a kid.
Many of my own childhood mistakes, cause same cringe feelings. It’s how we grow and learn. We eventually reflect and grow too.
Clearly you loved your mom, and she loved you. It’s not about the fish. She might have said today: don’t be silly give me a hug 🥰 and have you cook for her!
Melted my heart and made me tear up to hear that .... if mom were here I would have made her whatever she wanted.
Stay well my friend and I hope you and your family are happy, healthy, wealthy and wise .... and the spirits of those that have gone before are close to your heart.
Assuming we're just talking about a kid being picky/fussy/cranky and there's not some broader abuse or medical issue at play, then healthwise, sure. But there's other factors at play. Kids need to eat to grow. You also want the kids to start embracing good habits and shying away from bad ones, which sometimes means doing things they don't want to at times they don't want to.
Kids also don't always fully understand the signals their bodies are sending their brains and can get confused. So they actually are hungry, but their lack of energy and confusion (and just general preferences) mean saying they don't want to eat. In a situation like that, having the kid skip a meal actually makes the problem worse. There's other reasons too, but you get the idea.
From a health perspective, it's fine barring any medical issues. You could, however, run into trouble if CPS or something like that caught wind without context. Years ago I read a news article where a dad got in major hot water regarding custody of his kids because of that. It wasn't the most amicable divorce and when the ex-wife found out, she used that to argue for more custody.
If there's a custody battle, maybe but CPS doesn't take kids lightly. They know that those kids tend to be screwed one way or another, and they're choosing the lesser evil. The family situation has to be pretty damn bad for foster care to be a consideration.
CPS isn't doing anything over one lost meal beyond investigating worse claims.
Sone of it depends on age. You want the little ones fed despite themselves.
The problem is when they’re not your kids, or aren’t used to having boundaries set. Then it becomes a huge drama. While we tried to elicit preferences, we only made one dinner and they could eat it or not eat it.
When my kids became teens, I just handed my kids the website for a meal kit service and told them to pick what they wanted to make us next week
My nephews' favorite things are mini cheese wheels, tortillas, and bread. You're describing a well-balanced meal for them.
One of mine is in a tortilla and American cheese phase. I don't worry about it because I've seen kids have all kinds of food phases and as long as they're exposed to good food they'll get there eventually.
His brother pretty much just eats vegetables (either vegetable soup or salad), fruit, and will have a slice of pepperoni pizza once a week. That's about it.
You know what's the fucking bomb? Tortilla, turkey pepperoni, string cheese stick, pizza sauce, and parmesan crumbles. Assemble however seems appropriate, microwave for 10 seconds, and then roll 'em up for a good time.
Bonus recipe: freeze the cheese sticks and sub the tortilla with those tubes of croissants that you bake in the toaster. Fuck yeah!
After the 3rd and final (albeit oopsie child), I started using my Mom's saying:
"This isn't a fucking restaurant; you get what you get and don't throw a fit".
Respect to yo mama.
I meal plan with ours, he helps decide what we're eating for the week, and I get maybe one complaint a week instead of daily when I unilaterally made the plan.
Sometimes it's as easy as "want taco Tuesday?""yes". "Manicotti Monday? " "Nah"
If anyone says no to an idea, they are next to suggest something, and take-out does not get planned unless there's a good reason. I still sometimes squeeze things that I want to cook into the mix, but I'm usually ready with a backup.
Sometimes kids just want to have a level of agency even if the outcome is basically no different. This is a great idea. Whoever declines needs to present a substitute is also a great idea.
Instead of yes, and, it's more of a no, but
It's working decently enough, and it's a joy when a request for something I like is made,
We're working through that too. Have had success with making something they absolutely will eat (10/10) being on every plate, and adding some small amount of something they don't love (5/10) that they need to take a bite out of. To earn a small dessert, they eat all of 10/10 and one reasonable bite of 5/10. If they're still hungry later, they get noodles or cup-o-noodles.
After having to try the 5/10 over and over, they slowly build up a taste for it and it slowly moves up the chain until they'll eat it.
For us, it works for everything but texture issues.
I let that fly up until they're old enough to use the microwave. Now they cook their own damn dinner if they don't want what I make. Hard part is keeping them away from snacks but not locking up the pantry like Fort Knox.
That's on you
12, 8, 4.
Its my job to make sure you have food, not to force you to eat it. Eat or don't, you're problem.