this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
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TRIGGER WARNING: man rant with a hint of mysticism and philosophy..
Something all mums need to see.
Picture of a sign in my kitchen which reads, "GOOD MUMS have sticky floors, Messy kitchens, Piles of laundry, dirty ovens and HAPPY KIDS"
Mr Peeler cracked the shits about how the kitchen was untidy. Admittedly I didn't clean up very well yesterday, I felt fucking awful and it was an effort to drag myself through any task. I reminded him that he has made plenty of mess in the past week and cleaned none of it. He countered that he was sick. I reminded him I was too, and am still recovering! But only people with main character syndrome are allowed clemency for illnessπ Anyway, to cut a long story short (and a lot of futile self defence type arguing and bullshit out) I have this sign in my kitchen. After a similar argument many years ago, I left the house and went for a walk. I found myself in the op shop around the corner from my house. I walked into the store and there it was, this sign, perched atop a collection of kitchen bric-a-brac. It was literally the first thing my eyes saw when I entered the store. I shit you not, I swear on both my parents graves, there was a soft shaft of light from a high window that fell across some of the kitchen stuff, including this sign. It was so freaky! It was like, a sign but also a sign. You know, a sign sign. Of course I bought it, took it home and placed it in a prominent part of the kitchen, where it remains to this day. Mr Peeler later admitted he'd been a total dick. As he always does. Having the impulse control of a 5yo is not easy for a 60+yo boomer. He does not seem to be able to stop those first words from coming out, and having been in too many relationships where I didn't adequately stand up for myself if at all, I am shockingly defensive and do not back down in an argument.
Additional thoughts: I've spent altogether too much time in pubs, bars and taverns, done a frightening amount of drinking, and been in the position where it's late at night and the talk has turned personal. Older men often speak of their mothers, especially after a recent bereavement. I've never once in my whole life heard a man say, "my mum was a good lady but I wish she'd cleaned the oven a bit more often," or "I wish mum had vacuumed more often." They do say things like, "my mother never held me," "my mother never told me she loved me," "my mother was really cold to me my whole life and I never knew why," "my mother put dad first and us kids came a long way second." Because these are the things, at the end of the night, at the end of life itself, that really fucking hurt.
Thankyou for humouring my rant!
Nobody knows I have a dirty oven because nobody else uses it.
My oven's not generally too dirty.. in a small place if the oven's dirty and you heat it up the stink goes through the place too much. Mm, charcoal anyone? But I did go through very bad post natal depression after the second child and was lax with the oven. Actually I was lax with everything. Mr Peeler refuses to use a microwave so every time he heated up anything the house smelt like old bbq.
I bought a steam cleaner. I'm too old to sit on my knees and scrub the thing.
Ooh does it work well? What kind did you buy?
It works very well. I bought a karcher but people swear a kmart one works just as well. It's fantastic for cleaning the filters on the range hood too.
Thankyou, definitely going to check it out!
We just chuck ours in the dishwasher once a month.
If mine could fit in there I'd definitely do that too.
damn the glass door ones π€¨
The glass door is the easy part. I don't really like having to get into the oven to clean the bastard.
Looking at my boomer parents and the 'kitchen dynamic' for my poor mum I feel this rant.
It's what got me into cooking. It's fukn hard work and severely underappreciated.
It so is. Also the buying and storage of ingredients, prepping, cleaning up, all those things that should be done via magic.. if I could only get it to work. I used to be simultaneously jealous and derisive of Sabrina from Bewitched. Like, you can literally just wiggle your nose! Why do it all manuallyβ½
I love my mum, but she expects so much of me and it frustrates me. Especially when she pulls the same stuff I do. Like she'll leave things out but then gets mad at me when I do. Gets mad when I don't clean things, but she doesn't clean things.
Like, I don't really care if the house looks like a mess. My friends always tell me how clean my house is, and like obviously I notice the crumbs and such, but mum gets ridiculously embarrassed that the house is messy. She'll be like "I'm so sorry about the mess!" and it's like yeah it's not spotless, but people live here.
Honestly, this skit from Chris Flemming is exactly my mother.
How you describe your mum is how Mr Peeler is. That skit is wonderful!
Like, I do appreciate her instilling values and teaching me how to clean (because when I was a kid she was a stay at home mum and did everything and didn't teach myself anything, you know how Mumma boys exist and they don't know how to cook or like wash clothes because their mum did it for them, that was me. Of course, now I know how to do things, so it's not like I'm completely out of the dark), but I just... ugh. I totally totally understand how you feel but like... yeah from the perspective of my me and my mum.
Also, I'm glad you loved that skit, I watch it often. I've even shown mum and she's like jokingly telling me to fuck off haha. "Get rid of the couches, we can't let people know WE SIT!" and "There can't be any sign of living in this house", I often quote those two lines, especially around routine inspections.