this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2024
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Trauma is a very broad term. I used to think of it that way until it was redefined a bit for me, so it makes more sense. "Trauma is something negative that will affect your behavioral patterns going forward" I think is how it was worded to me.
That's where it gets more broad. So, yes I think overused, but probably not as much as you. Someone giving you the wrong change at a store? Not traumatic, you probably won't remember it. Being bullied at school? Absolutely, that shit will stick with you for the rest of your life, I know me being bullied affected how I thought of other people for a long time.
I had one example a while back someone told me "Not reading a text while I'm driving is traumatic because I have anxiety and what if something happened" while they were trying to justify texting an driving. No, not traumatic. The trauma is what caused that anxiety to happen in the first place. You not being able to deal with your anxiety for just a few minutes until you stop driving is a separate problem, now put down the phone and pay attention to the road. Pull over and read it if it's so debilitating.
That texting while driving example is fucking excellent. Two summers ago I received a phone call out of the blue at 4 AM, my father has gone from a-okay to dying in the span of five hours and bleary-eyed and half asleep, I spoke to him for the last time in my life. My mother had called three times before I woke up - if she had texted instead and left it at that it'd be quite reasonable to me to be traumatized by missing texts.
However, driving and texting is an obvious danger, if I felt like I couldn't miss a text for even a second it'd be perfectly reasonable for society to take away my driver's license. If my texting trauma can interfere with my ability to safely operate a motor vehicle then it'd be unreasonable for society to allow me to drive - that shouldn't be seen as a punishment for trauma but it is a reasonable response for public safety while I heal (if ever).
When someone is traumatized and has triggering events we should be kind and accommodate them as much as is reasonable but there is a limit to reasonableness and sometimes the reasonable response isn't going to be desirable.
Also, in a perfect world we'd ensure folks have counseling available to work through their trauma, but most western countries gate that behind a steep private cost.
Sorry about your dad โค๏ธ
It's taking a lot of willpower here to not go on a rant complaining about car culture and societies double standards around motor vehicles. So I'll just leave it there.
Obviously not the important topic of this thread, but my phone knows when I'm driving and it interrupts my podcast to read out any messages I get and give me the option to reply by voice. They should set up something similar.
Then they aren't capable of driving and shouldn't have a licence.
Going by that definition, almost any learning experience is trauma.