this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2024
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Human: I want to drink alcohol
I will make you sick and turn you into an unlikable blob.
You don't understand how funny i am when i'm drunk.
You pissed yourself the other night.
I'm sooooo funny i swear
I'll have to know I have no memory of pissing myself so you can't prove that happened.
Who the hell shit my pants?
Sorry. That was me
See, the thing that has got it all fucked up now is mobile phones.
Soooo glad the worst of my antics were before everyone had a Livestream capable camcorder in their pocket.
I think that's a bad example because alcohol develops when sugar is half digested by microorganisms. Not sure about the details but alcohol isn't "actively" added to fruits by the plant. The plant wants you to eat the fruit and shit the stone into the woods. Alcohol is a byproduct nobody intended.
Better examples are caffeine, hotness in chili, ...
ok :)
Human: I eat bad fruit
yeast n shit in the fruit: nooo what are you doing we're already eating this!
Human: taste bad!
Yeast n shit: Ya bro that is like literally our shit n waste
Human: ooh i feel funny n good!
Yeast n shit: are you listening to me?
Human: haha fun! grabs another rotten peach
Yeast:...............
Human: this yeast shit is so good we should put yeast in our grape juice, potatoes, barbecue sauce and boil all the water out of it
Government: oh no you don't, not unless you pay us money to do that
Human: but I'm not selling it
Government: M O N E Y!
Can't remember exactly what tree it is, but there's a rainforest tree that's almost entirely pollinated by drunk little monkeys. The monkeys are specifically attracted to the pollen with the highest alcohol content.
Wasn't that a hoax of some doku tv?
What's the apparent evolutionary purpose for developing caffeine?
A really bitter tasting pesticide essentially.
Us mammals coming along recently has changed some things.
Or hot peppers...
Peppers: Mammals no eat, only birds!
Humans: Hold my rotten peach, I'ma set my tongue on fire lolz
Roasty caffeine 😁. Mmmmmm...
Same as nicotine. It keeps insects away
Iirc it slows down a type of caterpillars who eat the leaves and makes them smell yummier to predators but i don't remember where i saw it
That's a good question tbh. If I remember correctly, the effects on other animals (was it insects?) is very different from ours.
It's toxic to insects, so it's a natural pesticide iirc
I want crack.
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