this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
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I am one of the admins of Beehaw and I'm trying to get some feedback on our potential move.

Let's start out with a little Beehaw history before judgements are passed, please.

A handful of us were beta testing Tildes when we decided to have discussions on a Discord server.

We decided that our 'Northern Star' or guiding principle would culminate as 'Be Nice' with purposefully vague/flexible interpretations. Our overall goal is to provide a safe space to disenfranchised persons.

We talked for a little over a year and some of our members became impatient. Then someone stepped in to suggest a couple of platforms that we could consider getting started with.

One of those platforms was Lemmy. None of us knew, at that time, anything about ActivityPub.

During the Reddit exodus (surrounding the API outcry and blackout), our instance exploded. We were, initially, crippled by the mass amounts of users seeking refuge.

Thankfully, someone stepped in and volunteered hundreds of hours of work to stabilize our instance and refine it further.

After many hours of talks, it became clear to us that our overall goal could be achieved outside of Lemmy/ActivityPub.

Right now, we feel that Lemmy and ActivityPub have downsides that are limiting us from achieving that goal.

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[–] vzq@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I spent about a week on Hexbear. They banned me for saying gender neutral pronouns exist, and whiteness is a social construct. They said these beliefs are "reactionary”

Wait what? That does not sound like hexbear AT ALL.

They are a bunch of grade A assholes, but like half of them display they/them pronouns on their profile (pronouns are mandatory on hexbear profiles). They are at least as trans friendly as we are at blahaj, with exception of the fact that they aren’t really friendly to anyone at all, ever. In fact, our main falling out with them was the mods at 196 not cracking down on purported transphobia hard enough.

As much as I hate to stick up for the hexbears, there is something more to this story you aren’t telling us.

[–] exocrinous@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Hexbear banned me for saying gender neutral pronouns exist: https://lemm.ee/post/12809875

A hexbear user also said that telling her not to use ableist slurs is a TERF plot: https://lemm.ee/post/13213726

Hexbear users "corrected" each other on my pronouns, while disregarding and dismissing my views on my own pronouns that were the topic of discussion: https://lemm.ee/post/12582694?scrollToComments=true

A hexbear user spouted ableist cliches about my disability: https://lemm.ee/post/12582396?scrollToComments=true

A hexbear user who complained when I told them not to use slurs said they were "vindicated" when I was banned: https://lemm.ee/comment/5243474

Hexbear mods remove a post that says nonbinary people deserve equal rights: https://lemm.ee/post/12581620?scrollToComments=true

A hexbear user says people with my disability tend to be abusive: https://lemm.ee/post/12581187?scrollToComments=true

A hexbear user called me insane, which is a loaded mental health term often pointed at neurodivergent people like me: https://lemm.ee/post/12442003?scrollToComments=true

A hexbear user found my removed post saying gender neutral pronouns exist and took it as evidence I nongender people on purpose: https://lemm.ee/comment/5182171

A hexbear user erases my asexuality by accusing me of wanting to see naked people: https://lemm.ee/post/12441146?scrollToComments=true

This particular user said so much ableist shit about NPD that you're only going to see it all if you click the post: https://lemm.ee/post/12418815?scrollToComments=true

[–] vzq@lemmy.blahaj.zone -1 points 11 months ago (2 children)

The fact you have this ready to go is super sketchy.

[–] exocrinous@lemm.ee 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Armed minorities are harder to oppress. This is the internet, short of doxxing and swatting (which I don't believe in), the closest thing we have to weapons is incriminating information. So when people told me I was evil because of a mental disorder and that I'm reactionary for believing in gender neutral pronouns, I made weapons. This is the correct response to hate.

What, do you think I faked all this evidence? Do you think all these hateful people are my secret alts and I even became a Hexbear mod to manufacture evidence of hate?

[–] vzq@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

I don’t think you fake evidence. But I do think you are an axe grinder. And that’s cool, I have plenty of axes of my own to grind with hexbear folk.

But I’m going to nod and walk away and leave you to your grinding.

[–] corvid_of_the_night@lemm.ee 1 points 11 months ago (2 children)

If it didn't have the information, you would've said "YOU CLAIM THINGS WITHOUT PROOF, YOU'RE LYING!!1!1!1!1!1!1!" There's no winning against a mindset like this, because no matter what the victim does, they will not be trusted.

[–] vzq@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

If you feel like you need to win you have already lost.

I was just curious because the OPs experiences were diametrically opposed to my own (equally awful) but radically different ones.

But now I feel I’m being used like a semplicio in some ongoing feud between the gp and a mod, and while I emphathize im bowing out.

[–] exocrinous@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago

Damn, you're right. And they literally did say I wasn't telling the truth before I showed proof. I criticise transphobes, vzq accuses me of hiding something, I show proof, and that makes me suspicious. It's almost like Blahaj users hate trans people for being victims