this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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If the average American were asked what they imagine the priorities of the feminist movement are these days, most people would likely cite concerns like "fighting abortion bans" or "getting justice for sexual violence victims" or boring mainstays like "equal pay for equal work." But if you listen in to the world of right-wing social media influencers, they have a different answer. To them, feminists are single-mindedly obsessed with destroying women who identify as "tradwives."

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[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 41 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (4 children)

My conservative friend is literally this person.

His mother was his "slave" and now he found an "asian slave." He doesn't cook or clean or anything really. He's even told me to look for foreign women because "white women" don't want to do things for you like others will.

She does all the work at home and he makes money. He's living the 1950s conservative dream...

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 28 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Married my Filipina last Friday! She's the perfectly coifed and feminine "tradwife" this article is talking about, but Jesus that word makes me almost physically ill. These young men are looking for slaves, not partners. Had a gf like that once, bored me to death.

I have to note, there's something to be said about a traditional division of labor in the household. We both cook and clean, but it's 90% her doing. I do all the "manly" stuff she's clueless about. It works because no one is bitching about a thing not being done. Without any real discussion, we both know who's responsible for what and we take care of one another's needs. There are almost zero arguments, and when there are, they aren't angry.

LOL, it was kinda hard to adjust to! "Baby, I can feed myself, been doing it for decades. I can also run a washing machine." She's never had a man that didn't treat her like a maid. I've turned her around from being so submissive and now she is more open with me, less fear of offence.

tl;dr: I just married the finest women I've ever known, and she's what the article describes. But she's my partner, not my slave. If anyone's a slave, it's mutual. :)

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Congratulations!!

I'm perpetually single so I don't actually have a dog in this fight, but I'd like to think I would be the same as you in that situation lol

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Thanks! I was raised by Greatest Gen grandparents, Beaver Cleaver style in the 70's, so this is natural to me.

But I had always approached live-in relationships as a 50-50 thing. We both split the chores equally, ya know?

But that's really bullshit. Partners have their strengths and weaknesses, so why not play to that? Dad never asked mom to mow the lawn. Mom never asked dad to do the dishes. It was simply understood that each person had their role to play, and they did so. Zero fights, zero discussion.

Dad helped with the math homework (he was an engineer), mom with the English and writing (she wasn't creative, but she knew the rules). Nothing wrong with that.

I do not wish to give credence to these assholes that merely want a subservient wife, disgusting, revolting. The term "tradwife" makes me physically ill, puts a spin on my stomach, can't even begin to watch the videos in the article. But again, there's something to be said for a division of labor.

My wife honestly loves taking care of me. First date she kept saying, "I will take care of you." Guess that Filipina for, "I love you."?

What that means to her is cooking and cleaning and such. And I wish to take care of her. To me that means making most of the money, handling vehicle issues, fixing the weed whacker, whatever.

I have never loved or been loved like this. She took my hand in marriage last Friday and I'll hold that until the end.

(And in writing this, I realized she has a cold and is ill in bed. I will go to her now. Later y'all.)

[–] Chee_Koala@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

I guess a 50/50 (ish) is a nice place to start exploring where the two participants in the union have their strengths. Congratz on the wedding, I hope your wife get's well soon!

[–] keefshape@lemmy.ca 19 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I dislike your friend so much, just from your description of them, that I caught myself wanting to down vote your post.

Sorry friend lemming, thanks for the hard share.

[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 12 points 11 months ago

Lol thanks for resisting! Just remember the downvote button was "invented" to filter out distractions from the discussion, it's not about what we like or don't like but whether it's relevant to the conversation! :)

[–] Sharpiemarker@feddit.de 8 points 11 months ago
[–] dirthawker0@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago

And I'll bet you dollars to donuts he will say he's not a racist because he's married to an Asian.

[–] guacupado@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)

What does asian slave even mean? Like he literally went to SE Asia and got someone or was there an Asian girl he met that happened to enjoy being a housewife?

[–] SheDiceToday@eslemmy.es 3 points 11 months ago

I've heard from several people who are in an older generation than I am about this, but it goes something like this: Date foreigners, and even better, if you can go to that country for a little while and find someone willing to be your wife there, marry them and bring them back.

It's always been off-putting when someone can say things like that in an earnest manner.