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I'm monogamous myself, but personally know two different polyamorous relationships. 1 is pretty damn good, and the other is rife with drama. Besides that, I tangentially know of others, and all of those are rough, though since I'm hearing of these from mutual friends and acquaintances, I could just be getting the juicy drama and none of the good parts. Could very well be that my info on those are bad
It does seem to mirror the general expectation, though, that most are unstable, and I wouldn't call it surprising. Relationships are complicated, and anything that has more moving parts is going to be more complicated. I'm not trying to suggest here that monogamy is the way to go by any means--different people have different wants and needs, and some people are just good for polyamory. I just think that a working arrangement like this is tough to pull off
Besides, this gets asked a lot about polyamorous relationships, but there are so many fucked heteronormative relationships, and you never see the argument that monogamy is wrong, so yeah. Just whatever makes you happy
Most of the heteronormative relationships I've known of or experienced were rife with drama and problems, so I would assume poly relationships would be, too. Even if the rate is the same, you'll be at least twice as likely to end up with a shitty relationship in a poly relationship (with at least one partner), right?
Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with poly relationships, only that there's plenty wrong with people.
Yeah you can hold a bad traditional relationship together with duct tape and societal expectations indefinitely. You shouldn’t but there’s no kaboom or juicy details. Polyamory has more room for the failure to be catastrophic instead of a slow long decay to a couple snidely commenting on each other in a retirement home.