this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2023
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I was taking my daily mid-morning poop today and while I was wiping, I thought, I wonder how most people wipe.

I tend to wipe while standing up cause it's more comfortable and allows for more cheek-spreaditivity.

So, I beg the question: How does most of Lemmy wipe? Do you wipe while standing up or do you wipe while sitting down? Why?

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[–] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I just feel that the International Ass Wiping Authority guidance 27881 should be followed. By standing the cheeks close slightly, which what the hell, why would I want to wipe that. I do understand the white paper, “Stank Bowl finding 87712-b” outlined the wack idea of wiping over the nuclear blast you just left introduces some risk, but it’s not significant enough to stand up and introduce additional ass closing issues.

[–] intensely_human@lemm.ee 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

We don’t stand that way. It’s “standing” in the sense the butt comes up off the toilet. But the overall posture is still “sitting”.

[–] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago

Ok so the Council of Auditable Shats (1998 conference) did mention this is a good hybrid deployment model.

[–] ebits21@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

You need a slight forward tilt for separation.