this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2025
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how can i help my depressed bf? (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 day ago by classybattery@sh.itjust.works to c/gaybros@lemmy.world
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i (m, gay) have been with my bf (m, bi) for about three months. we are in a long-distance relationship, and we've been friends for a year or two now, maybe like october 2023. lately, he's been really depressed. when he's not depressed, he's just tired and overall low energy. he never really has a lot of energy to talk to me or anything like that, and even if he wants to, he doesn't feel like it from his depression.

he has had a bad childhood and has trauma and i feel really bad for him. i get really sad/depressed when he's depressed and he says i do help, but only a little because he's so empty. he also doesn't know what he wants, so i'm there to support him. he doesn't know whether or not he wants to talk to me sometimes either, so sometimes we take mental health breaks and come back once we're happier.

i don't really know what to do, it's also not like he lost feelings for me.

he comes from a fairly poor family with an abusive family member.

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[โ€“] classybattery@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

thank you so much!!! i feel so bad for him

[โ€“] phr@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 day ago

yeah, one of the biggest things might be to offer help finding therapy. calling a buch of people who tell you, that they do not have time to fit you in, can cause troubles, and avoidance, at least in my case. of course he will ultimatly have to make appointments and decide, but there is a lot of administrative stuff that makes it hard for people with depression to get help.