this post was submitted on 30 Jun 2025
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.... I should start an AI company.
Step 1: Go to an Ivy League school
Step 2: Make friends with a failson/daughter of a prevailing plutocrat
Step 3: Put the Matrix-code screensaver on your laptop (apparently, this worked on Elon Musk in the early Twitter takeover days)
Step 4: ???
Step 5: Get a $10M Series A and a $100M Series B thanks to the family of your rich friends buying into your hair-brained Theranos knock-off.
Converting spaces to tabs and commuting the whole code base to get your line numbers up probably worked at Twitter HQ. Musk is such a moron.
I read a book about startup stuff at the request of the CEO of my old company. Some of it was at least superficially interesting, but one part stood out as haunting. It casually mentioned how a "founder" at Zoom was trying to get money, and the investors thought it was a stupid idea. It was a "solved problem" that already had big players in the space. But they were personally friends with the guy, so they gave him a few hundred million dollars.
That's not something to be proud of. Nepotism and bro-driven-investment isn't the ideal.
But these rich assholes pretend they're such visionaries. Gatekeepers of the future. Fuck them. Fuck them all. The climate is a disaster and they're pouring billions into "Cats in the metaverse"? Crimes against humanity.
Somewhere in there there's a step "come up with the most sociopathic business plan possible."
You know how you have to pay extra to have insurance to pay to take care of your mouth bones and your face balls? Well, what if we did that but with all the bones and stuff? Like, why are your foot bones included in the same insurance that pays for you to have knee bones or neck giblets? Why not do all the bones and stuff a la cart? And then maybe skin can be a premium add-on. We could charge separate for the red goo that's all on the inside everywhere, and then it's like a subscription model for having parts. We can sell it like "don't pay for the parts you don't have," and people will think that they are saving money because each part costs less than the whole, but paying for everything costs more.
-some Health Insurance board member somewhere, probably.
“I was thinking about that phrase ‘free as the air’ and thought ‘what if it wasn’t?’”
A classic from the dot-com boom era: Phase 1: Collect underpants
Dude! I'm far more ludicrously incompetent than you! Leave these things to the real pros!
I think I got this covered.
You just did.