this post was submitted on 20 May 2025
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Hmm... I didn't have rich parents but then my Dad died when I was a teenager and my Mum married a rich dude so I've experienced both. In a lot of ways I miss how life was before there was money. Mum went from a happy hippie chick to Disney villain toxic narcissist. To me money is like eating a delicious cake that constantly kicks you in the nuts.
There are no good rich people (especially capitalists)
This is obviously false. Personality disorders are caused by genetic factors and childhood trauma. You can't get one from a marriage unless something has gone very wrong with the age of consent.
You don't think a young mother whose husband died would be a big enough significant emotional event to cause any change in the mother? Making up other unknowns isn't really necessary.
Not any change. It can't turn her into a pink bunny rabbit and it can't create a personality disorder. Bereavement has well understood effects, it doesn't cause neurodivergence.
Right, but you are stating for a fact that these changes occured. All we know is a 1 sentence description about how his mom changed from the POV of when he was a child.
A young mom losing her spouse is enough to shock your whole world and plan for life. She (I'm assuming) saw the money as security to help raise her son. Idk either way there is unprocessed trauma. I think, we agree with that fact. I just find it weird to be so 100% on diagnosising a mental illness with so little information.
You've got me confused for someone else. I'm the one saying not to diagnose a mental disorder. And I'd like to add that NPD isn't a mental illness, it's a mental disorder. The difference is you can't catch NPD like it's the flu. It's lifelong.
It’s a child’s perspective of their mother’s personality, which is never going to be completely accurate. I don’t disagree with the larger point that medical terminology shouldn’t be used informally when it could be misunderstood, but a kid’s impression of their mom is always going to be at best a snippet of the truth.
Anyone who's past high school age is old enough to avoid using medical terminology flippantly, even with personal subjects
I've thought about this a lot obviously because it has been such a massive theme in my life. I think you're probably right about genetic factors and childhood trauma. Money just acted like a sort of fertiliser for all the toxic seeds within her. I then started to notice that everyone else with money around us was the same. Just people pretending to be happy but actually being miserable. I've ended up being deeply suspicious of money.
Personality disorders are triggered on adolescence and early adulthood by developmental factors. Not marriages. Not money. You need to be careful about how you use diagnostic labels. You're not a psychologist, so you can perpetuate stigma when you use pop psychology to diagnose. It's important to do your own research if you want to use a psychological term. You should look up the alternative dimensional model in the DSM 5, not just the old criteria copied from the DSM-IV.
But people do change when they no longer have to work.
Suddenly there is this huge gap where used to be worries and stress, and that can alter behaviour in new ways.
Absolutely and also money insulates you from challenging feedback. She suddenly had no one saying no to her. What surprised me was how fast she went from being embarrassed living in a house with servants to ordering them around and complaining about the slightest mistake. In a lot of ways I felt I lost my Mum. The Mum I grew up with anyhow. Money is great but it can also be a toxic drug that's really hard to resist in my experience.
You should really look at the DSM 5 alternative model, because what you've described has very little in common with theoretical models of NPD
That's interesting. I'm always open to new perspectives. You sound like you have some experience in the field. Can I ask, are you a psychologist?
No, just a genius with an interest in ethical science