this post was submitted on 20 May 2025
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I've thought about this a lot obviously because it has been such a massive theme in my life. I think you're probably right about genetic factors and childhood trauma. Money just acted like a sort of fertiliser for all the toxic seeds within her. I then started to notice that everyone else with money around us was the same. Just people pretending to be happy but actually being miserable. I've ended up being deeply suspicious of money.
Personality disorders are triggered on adolescence and early adulthood by developmental factors. Not marriages. Not money. You need to be careful about how you use diagnostic labels. You're not a psychologist, so you can perpetuate stigma when you use pop psychology to diagnose. It's important to do your own research if you want to use a psychological term. You should look up the alternative dimensional model in the DSM 5, not just the old criteria copied from the DSM-IV.
But people do change when they no longer have to work.
Suddenly there is this huge gap where used to be worries and stress, and that can alter behaviour in new ways.
Absolutely and also money insulates you from challenging feedback. She suddenly had no one saying no to her. What surprised me was how fast she went from being embarrassed living in a house with servants to ordering them around and complaining about the slightest mistake. In a lot of ways I felt I lost my Mum. The Mum I grew up with anyhow. Money is great but it can also be a toxic drug that's really hard to resist in my experience.
You should really look at the DSM 5 alternative model, because what you've described has very little in common with theoretical models of NPD
That's interesting. I'm always open to new perspectives. You sound like you have some experience in the field. Can I ask, are you a psychologist?
No, just a genius with an interest in ethical science