Jokes and Humor

I actually got a text like this last night, to which I responded: F*CK YOU without the asterisk.

[alt text: Large text that says "The Four Horseman of the Apocalypse". Below the text is a screenshot of an online multiple choice exam. In the screenshot, there is a photo of a sloppy joe sandwich on a plate. Below the photo, there is question text that says, "[Question] 68. What is this loose meat in a tomato sauce on a bun called?". The four answer options are: "Messy Mike", "Sloppy Joe", "Filthy Kevin", and "Dirty Andy".]

[alt text: a photo of a man setting up a series of domino tiles to fall. The tiles are all different sizes, and are arranged in order from smallest to largest. The man is about to push the smallest domino, which is labeled, "1 bad study on wolf behavior". The largest domino at the other end of the chain is labeled, "Deranged erotica and bioessentialist pseudoscience".]

[alt text: text that says, "me leaving the bakery after stealing a baguette". Below the text is a frame from a Discovery Channel style of CGI animation, depicting a human that is featureless, naked, and colored green. The person's mouth and cheeks are stretched out horizontally in a cartoonish way, as if they are hiding a baguette inside their mouth.]

I'm generally left-learning and I enjoy the usual left-leaning comedians - you know, TDS, Colbert, Kimmel and the likes.

But I also pride myself on being open-minded and listening to all sides, and I don't know any good right-leaning comedians. And ya know, if it's funny, I'll laugh at anything said by anyone.

So please make suggestions! Whose jokes and commentaries are worth listening to?

And in case it wasn't clear, this is NOT flamebait: I'm genuinely looking for good comedy material from comedians on the side of the political spectrum I'm not on, for my own education.

[alt text: a screenshot of a tweet and a reply tweet. The original tweet, by @earthcurated, says, "Besides your phone, wallet and keys, what do you carry with you everyday?" The reply tweet, by @pastapilled, says, "the curse".]

[alt text: a photo of two ants looking at each other. One of them has a caption that says, "bro, we're gonna get so lit". In the bottom left corner of the photo, there is an edited-in image of a box of peppermint antacid tablets.]

[alt text: text that says, "When you find out she can't have kids anymore". Below this text is a photo of a circular orange sticker placed on a white shipping label. The sticker has text that says, "OK TO LOAD" and includes a cartoon of thumbs-up hand.]

[alt text: a comic/meme with two frames. The top frame shows an anime girl holding an energy drink in one hand and giving a thumbs-up with her other hand, and the caption text reads: "beautiful caffeine on an empty stomach I'm going to live forever". The bottom frame shows the same girl passed out on the ground face-down, and the caption text reads: "hopital" .]

[alt text: Text that says, "The kids think they're getting delicious candy... but it's really 64GB of banned books." Below the text is a photo of three candy bars. Each candy bar has been half-unwrapped and broken in half, and each candy bar has a USB 2.0 plug sticking out of it.]

[alt text: a photo of a man relaxing in a chair on a patio, next to a table with a closed umbrella in the middle. The umbrella is casting a shadow on the man from an angle that makes it look like the shadow is the man's comically-large and erect penis.]

[alt text: text that says, "The last thing you see when your parachute fails to open". Below the text is a photo of the lid of a spice jar. The lid is labeled: "GROUND CUMIN".]

[alt text: a tweet by @equine__dentist on twitter. The text of the tweet says, "working retail". Below the text is a screenshot from the videogame Lies of P, which shows the player fighting a boss called "White Lady" with a large health bar underneath her name.]

[alt text: text that says, "Christopher Columbus discovers the sidewalk, circa 2020, colorized". Below the text is a photo of a statue of Christopher Columbus, which has been knocked down by protesters moments before.]

[alt text: a photo of graffiti writing on a brick wall, which says, "Bitchstopher Colombitch".]

[alt text: a tweet by @maxotunes on twitter. The tweet says, "in the shop straight up 'jorking it' and by 'it', haha, well. let's justr say." Below the text is a vibrant ad for a game called, "MAHJONGUS: Mystery of Fortescue".]

[alt text: a tweet by @LinkOfSunshine on twitter. The tweet says: "I love the idea that America developed a weather-controlling superweapon and the only thing they use it for is just to fuck over Florida specifically twice a year"]