plzExplainNdetail

-The comic literally states that he should smile more and that is a demand on how he should be. If he wanted to smile he would.

-The angry face is a thing that I acknowledged and agreed with, and said I had experience with in my first comment. Please re-read for better comprehension.

-My sentence"...even if just in passing" implies the inclusion of someone who you may not otherwise interact with. Strangers who talk to you are inherently in a more intimate category than strangers who don't talk/interact to you.

-Saying that the people in the situations given are in positions akin to predator and prey is an apt analogy. It is not saying someone turns into a bear and the other a fish. There are many shifts of power during conversations and not acknowledging the natural and situational power dynamics does everyone a disservice.

I never once said that someone's looks were the reason they were the predator/prey in a situation.

You must have missed my last paragraph. It doesn't matter the sex/gender of the person, but it does matter who holds the natural power/advantage in any situation. Being stronger, taller, quicker, larger, heavier, speaking first, and speaking louder are all innate advantages and any person can find themselves being any of those things depending on the situation they are in.

My pointing out that those are two separate situations and not equivalent experiences due to differing power dynamics is in no way shutting down or stopping the conversation. It is rather making space for there to be a better comparison to be made.

Being told to smile is inherently sexual in its nature, it's a demand to look prettier for the pleasure of the viewer/speaker. The statement is usually said unprovoked and carries the hint of threat from the speaker as they have set themselves up as the person with the power by simply making the demand first. The one being catcalled is automatically on the defense and has to choose to cooperate or refuse, both answers may come with a future physical/sexual threat. In this scenario you are prey and the predator's eye is on you (maybe for food, maybe for play).

Someone asking if you're mad, assumes they know you in some way even if just in passing. It also assumes you have some power that they fear your anger/upset and are hoping to mitigate it to protect themselves if possible. That question can come from a from a sincere place or an insincere one, but it really isn't a sexually inclined question. The question can be asked as concern for you, concern for themselves, or both. The person asking has the power of speaking first which forces you to respond -agree, refute, or ignore the statement. The asker then gives over the power to you, allowing you to direct the rest of the conversation with your response. In this situation you are the predator and the asker is the prey that is hoping that you already have a full belly.

Lastly in my previous comment I validated their experiences and even shared my own struggles with the particular issue they mentioned. I also acknowledged and empathized with the frustrations that come with the given situations.

So what's a better situational comparison of 'you are prey and the predator's eye is on you'?

Oh ..well.. then I'll have the chicken.

That's not really a male thing, nor is your example an equivalent. All sexes can get the angry face comment because people misinterpret others expressions wrong all the time. Not everyone is lucky enough to have resting beauty face. Heck just yesterday I was literally told by a nationally renowned dentist that my "small polite smile" would in fact labelled a grimace.. oof.

There is usually a sexual connotation in being told to smile (to look prettier to the viewers), while being asked if something is wrong generally doesn't have the same sexual undertones/motivations. The equivalent to the post would literally be a woman getting catcalled/told to smile and them thinking about escape routes. The difference in the gender swap is when the guy hears the smile comment they move on thinking about smiling (as shown by your comment), while the lady hears the smile comment and wonders if she's in an unsafe situation that could possibly end their life.

Don't get me wrong, both situations are awkward and uncomfortable to be in/navigate. Both put the onus the person hearing it to engage their defenses as to dispell/appease the accusations. And while both deal with fear, it really is just the power dynamics and inherent sexual nature that makes for entirely different interactions/outcomes.

(I say woman/man but the scenario still stands when women= any person smaller or weaker and man= any person with an inherent power/advantage over another. So if a big guy did the same to a weaker guy, the scene plays out the same as a powerful lady and the frail lady, or a strong lady and smaller guy.)

Go to Meow Wolf in Houston!!! It's immersive art- so think art museum that you can touch the walls and interact with the artwork. Their experience in Houston is called Radio Tave. Give yourself a good amount of time to explore an wear comfortable clothing/shoes. Meow Wolf does attempt to make their art installations accessible for all sizes, ages, and abilities- so if you visit while on crutches, on a walker, or in a wheelchair, both you and your dad should still have an enjoyable time! Hope it all goes well!

Favorite food to make? Favorite food to eat?

What is something (item) that made your life easier/better?

Do you have a favorite yearly ritual or festivity?

Yes it's a reality and their advice is honestly solid. Here's some maps/statistics showing gun violence in the US in 2024 from the gun violence archives.. If you look at their dropdown menu, there's a tab specifically for seeing just the last 72 hours that is currently 10 pages long. If you're looking for reasoning on how that environment comes to be, you might have a read of Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler.. You can find free pdf versions with a quick internet search. There's also a second book called Parable of the Talents.

If you're the one working then why would your SO be able to threaten to not pay bills? Maybe it's time to change which account your paychecks are going to. Have you considered opening a separate account just for you? Or try taking your name (or theirs) off as many joint accounts as possible. Maybe freezing your credit so nothing else can be opened in your name (assuming you're in the us)? Are you are legally married to them? If so filing for divorce might be another avenue to talk to a lawyer about. (Most lawyers don't charge for the initial consultation).

Are there any domestic violence shelters in your vicinity? It truely sounds like you're in an abusive relationship and being held hostage in your own home. It's only a matter of time before the violence gradually increases, because nothing you will ever do will appease them long enough to change their minds on how to treat you. Can you record people in your state/country? The us has some states where only one party needs permission to record so giving yourself permission is fully acceptable to begin recording. There are also some apps that can record audio/video when the phone appears off and uploads the video onto the internet.

You do not have to answer any of these questions. This internet stranger is just worried for you and truly hopes you find a safe haven. Regardless of anything else, I'm proud of you for working so hard to better yourself and your circumstances!

Congratulations on registering to vote!

If you haven't already, you should look up a sample ballot for your specific state/city so you can know who all these people are and/or what the actual proposals. I was a bit overwhelmed by all the non presidential questions the first time I voted. So now I research before and take my little paper list in with me so I don't have to think/decide in that moment while at the poll.

Changing hair styles specifically for the car reminds me of some emergency responders who were talking about the horrific crash scenes where people wearing plastic hair claw clips that broke apart and become shrapnel or the clip simply lodging in the skull through blunt force contact (usually) with the headrest.

Great breakdown! I'd like to add train to the options. OP might be able to utilize an Amtrak train for a portion of the trip depending on the travel destination. Here's a map of their routes. Tickets can be purchased online, they offer assistance for disabilities, and they have places to lie down or eat food.

If you decide to fly OP, consider getting a pack of gum to chew on to help with pressure/popping in your ears during altitude changes of takeoff and landing.

100% agree. OP's safety comes first and foremost!