this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
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me irl

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[–] Katrisia@lemm.ee 1 points 11 minutes ago

That's the experience for some neurodivergent or somehow naïve women the first time. I was one of them (I thought older men were being kind with my teenage self). Then you start getting the same comment again and again: it often feels insincere. You start suspecting and learning about all the ways [mostly] men can be manipulating or even dangerous in the streets. It starts becoming bittersweet; you learn to ignore it just in case it's the people with bad intentions. You know that, if someone really wants to tell you that you're pretty or something, they will make an effort to make you feel safer too. And then, you are in your twenties and those men don't talk to you nearly as often, and it's a relief. As a heterosexual/bisexual woman, you hope that the rest of men can see you as more than a pretty body: a human with dreams, hobbies sense of humor, intelligence, whatever. Sometimes it's scary to know that many men don't, but many others do, so... yeah, my leftism hopes it gets better, as with many other social issues.

That's my experience.

[–] WhyFlip@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

This would actually require dweebs leaving their basements.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 2 points 14 minutes ago

It would require a woman who wasn't convinced she'd be stalked for the next six months.

[–] Bonje@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

I still remember the compliment i got about my eyebrows back in high school. I got super flustered and ran out of the class. I have a love/cringe relationship with that moment.

[–] masquenox@lemmy.world 10 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

A woman once told me that. Oh boy, did that stick with me for a long time.

A girl also told me I have nice eyes during high school. That was literally one of the bitterly few highlights of high school for me.

[–] redisdead@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

I wore a colorful shirt at school and a random girl told me she liked it. I wore colorful shirts every day at school for 2 whole years.

[–] lurch@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (1 children)

women don't do that, because they subconsciously know like 80% of men (including me) would see that as an opportunity for a pickup line, like "I would, if you went out with me" or "a hug/kiss would cheer me up" or some other borderline creepy stuff.

[–] Atlas_@lemmy.world 6 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

It's not exactly a pickup line but it is expressing interest. And that's how a lot of men use the line.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Telling someone they should "smile more" isn't expressing interest. It's a very weird demand. If you'd like to express interest in someone please consider a different approach.

[–] chonglibloodsport@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

No, it’s the “you look cute” part. As a man, I rarely ever get compliments. A “you look cute” would make my entire day. And I would smile at that!

[–] LANIK2000@lemmy.world 17 points 7 hours ago

The disconnect between women and men is sad. Women say soo many things with the best of intentions, that just end up cutting way too deep and vice versa.

[–] Realitaetsverlust@lemmy.zip 15 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Pretty sure would smile a lot more if they received more positive attention ngl.

[–] Sauerkraut@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

Someone told me I had an ugly smile once and I am still insecure about my smile to this day. If people told me I had a beautiful smile and that I should smile more, I think that would be amazing. I would be surprised, but really happy.

[–] TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works 2 points 39 minutes ago

The person who told you that has an ugly personality.

[–] shift_four@sh.itjust.works 2 points 45 minutes ago

Hey @Sauerkraut@discuss.tchncs.de you have a beautiful smile! 😁

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 52 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

It was pretty funny when women thought "how would you feel if" would work in this case. They clearly didn't know how starved of positive attention men are.

[–] Sauerkraut@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah, no one has ever told me that I had a beautiful smile and that I should smile more... I never get compliments and very rarely get any appreciation. I helped a friend of a friend fix electrical issues saving him thousands that he didn't have? Just a generic "thanks." The guy offered to feed me because his wife was getting chinese but his wife didn't get me any and they just ate their food while I worked.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 7 points 6 hours ago

Where I live 12 beers or a bottle of vodka is the standard payment

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev -4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

positive attention

So starved of positive attention that you mistake creepy demands for compliments?

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 1 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

you look cute

Definitely a compliment

you should smile more

Dunno what the intention was, I read it as "you look cute when you smile" but could be "you would look (even) cuter if you smiled". If it's either of those, that's going to my compliment book.

And yes, men are famine level starved of positive attention. So this "creepy demand" (demand??) defintely would count for me.

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 58 points 11 hours ago (3 children)

A lady told me I have nice eyes once. That was 20+ years ago and I’ve never forgotten that shit.

[–] TrousersMcPants@lemmy.world 12 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I had the same thing happen while I was working as a cashier. Turns out she was actually scamming me, they used footage of it happening to train new people.

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[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 19 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

You look cute! - nice

You should smile more. - wtf

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Tbh she's probably right, I have resting bitch face at best or maybe smol depression at worst lol, it would probably help me develop new interpersonal relationships now that all my friends are dead (mostly OD) or moved (because they didn't want to OD.)

REAL FUN being the only person you know who avoided heroin/fent!

[–] angrystego@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Wow, that must be hard. I hope you'll find some nice drug-free friends.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 hours ago

Thanks lol me too. (Fine with the right drugs though, for the record. Weed is ok in my book!)

[–] lukstru@lemmy.world 19 points 10 hours ago
[–] ekZepp@lemmy.world 71 points 12 hours ago
[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 19 points 10 hours ago

I'd just look around to see who else is in on the joke

[–] Spacehooks@reddthat.com 12 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Old ladies at my first job would tell this to Male interns all the time.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 5 points 6 hours ago

Productivity at 130%

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