I'm hesitant to describe my mental state... it hasn't really changed. I'm miserable. I've been miserable since I was a child. I don't know if it's what clinicians would call depression. Can you be depressed for, essentially, your whole life? I'm experiencing some personal and financial set backs right now, and I'm wondering... I don't feel different. When I'm doing the 'normal' things--working, socializing with relatives, 'hobbies'--I'm still miserable. When I'm unemployed and isolated I feel miserable. I feel stuck. Trust me when I say I don't feel human. I don't relate to others. They appear just like that: others. I have no interest in anything.
I'm chronically stressed for no apparent reason. I feel like people are going to shout at me suddenly, hit me, or otherwise assault me. I feel completely stuck. I'm on antidepressants. I'm on some other medications too. None of it helps. I could be taking placebos. My body really does not respond to them, and the psychiatric appointments are so infrequent due to packed schedules, that it's overwhelmingly disappointing. I wait months to say "they don't work" only to be told "we'll up the dosage". They don't work. I don't feel any different.
Psychologists are a complete waste of time. They nod their head and espouse common sense/platitudes. I always feel worse after seeing one, because it just hammers home the idea that no one can help how I feel. I get it. Only I can do that, but I feel my brain is damaged and it's not functional--I've experienced head traumas, chronic neglect (from years 0-19), and electrocution. Because I wasn't sent to school I don't have an authoritative record of childhood behavioral issues. I relate very much to ADHD symptoms, but everyone is reluctant to allow me to try those medications that might help that disorder. I feel like, as much as I try to explain, they just don't understand my issues. I'm borderline nonfunctional, but because I present groomed, wearing an ironed shirt and slacks, I feel like they don't believe me.
I want a break emotionally. I want to feel something other than an overwhelming sense of misery, disinterest, and hopelessness.
My sentiment does not change. That's akin to pocket change if he makes around $200,000 USD a month on twitch...
Consumption of luxury products and the defense of them is not something I support. Buying a mansion is antithetical to my views on socialism. An acceptable use of a mansion is to tear it down and build affordable apartments for the working people. Even then that'd be suspect, as you'd be able to build more dwellings on cheaper land... It would be more of a publicity stunt than an acceptable use of capital.
This character might say "the right things" but he does not do them. Why is he even working for Amazon? He could be streaming on peertube or build infrastructure to stream without binding himself to such an exploitative company.
He's human. It's not easy say the right things and do the right things. I don't give it much thought. He's not of interest to me, but I think it's quite obvious why communists might not like him.