Using the trolley problem as an analogy, if you don't pull the lever the people run over by it are not your fault but the trolley company's, but if you do pull the lever the death of the guy on the other tracks is absolutely on you.
I assume you voted for Biden last election, to avoid the trolley running over the people in that proverbial track. Congratulations, you are guilty of murdering all those Palestinian children. Now, next election, if (when) Trump wins, your vote even for Biden is what gives legitimacy to his presidency.
No it isn't, fuck that doublespeech. That's like saying to the woman in op's example 'If you don't choose between Niceguy and Chad and then one of them comes and rapes you it's your fault for not choosing the other to protect you when you got the chance'.