I'm a 37 year old IT Cloud Engineer, I have a great job, great house, love my family, but recently I lost my dad to cancer after a 16 year battle. My brother likes to say cancer had to cheat to win, it was all because he broke his back and had to be taken off his treatments for to long. Cancer is a fickle bitch...
Prior to losing my dad, I lost my best friend, who apparently dropped dead in his backyard. I don't know the specifics and frankly I don't want to know. Either way, these events effected me, and I started having massive panic attacks and anxiety issues, constantly afraid for my health even though there's nothing wrong with me. It took a few months of therapy to realize I needed medical help.
I was put on antidepressants and everything changed, I was a human again for the first time in like a decade. I was happy, I was successful, but now, idk if I'm just having a midlife crisis, or if maybe I'm just feeling depressed again, but I just feel lost. I've lost one of the few people in my life I've modeled my success after, my father, I lost the other person I could hang out with and empathize with, I have my wife and I love her to death, but my friend had been that person that was just there to hang out and make you feel better, and now they're gone. I'm still struggling to cope and it's just really hard and I need a place to vent.
Anyone have any ideas on how to cope and move on as well as control the anxiety without the need to be medicated?
TL;DR: Lost my dad and my best friend in the course of two years and it's been rough. Now I feel lost and confused constantly. Cloudy brain and I just don't want to be complacent in life and need some advice. Thanks for reading.
Edit: just wanted to say thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I'm going to take the advice I've been given here to heart and try some new things to try and give me some direction. Thank you all again so much for the help, it really made me feel a lot better.
It's irresponsible because making it sound like it's true AI when it's not is going to make it difficult to pull the plug when things go wrong and you'll have the debate of whether it's sentient or not and if it's humane to kill it like a pet or a criminal. It's more akin to using rainbow tables to help crack passwords and claiming your software is super powerful when in reality it's nothing without the tables. (Very very rudimentary example that's not supposed to be taken at face value).
It's dangerous because talking about AI like it's a reasoning/thinking thing is just not true, and we're already seeing the big AI overlords try to justify how they created it with copyrighted material, which means the arguments over copyrighted material are being made and we'll soon see those companies claim that it's no different than a child looking up something on Google. It's irresponsible because it screws over creative people and copyright holders that genuinely made a product or piece of art or book or something in their own free time and now it's been ripped away to be used to create something else that will eventually push those copyright holders out.
The AI market is moving faster than the world is capable of keeping up with it, and that is a dangerous precedent to set for the future of this market. And for the record I don't think we're dealing with early generations of skynet or anything like that, we're dealing with tools that have the capability to create economical collapse on a scale we've never seen, and if we don't lay the ground rules now, then we will be in trouble.
Edit: A great example of this is https://v0.dev/chat it has the potential to put front end developers out of work and jobless. It's simple now but give it time and it has the potential to create a frontend that rivals the best UX designs if the prompt is right.