BellyPurpledGerbil

joined 1 year ago
[–] BellyPurpledGerbil@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

There are too many people on the Internet (and likely also generally the world) who don't know how successful sex strikes have historically been, and it shows.

I'm not a therapist or any variety of professional on the topic. I will tell you it sounds unhelpful to remove emotions. I know there are similar practices in things like Stoicism. But many people take those practices to extremes. You don't sound like you're doing anything like 100% extreme about emotional suppression but you are probably overdoing it like 80% extreme. If that makes sense.

Emotions are useful. They're informational reactions to the world around us. I'm an extremely emotional person (big happies, big mads, big sads, etc) and sometimes letting that loose is a huge problem. I can make myself physically sick if I don't regulate my emotions and reactions. But I learned and practiced how to feel my emotions and then let them pass, rather than trying to stomp them out entirely. Which never really works. Suppression just pushes the problems to your future self. It's not a relief or release.

So I guess I'm trying to say, you're not at all wrong for what you're trying to accomplish. But I think you're probably not going to succeed or improve (in the way that you want) going about it the way you have been. I'd recommend finding counselors who understand how to teach effective emotional regulation techniques, or practice meditation.

[–] BellyPurpledGerbil@sh.itjust.works 18 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

I think I'm about to take liberties with the term "strategic play." But I'll tell this regardless.

I have a friend who is only hyper competitive when playing games, especially board games. In the moment, he wants to win so badly that he will do anything to win. He manipulates, gaslights, he's dangerously intelligent and he's good at making it seem like he's just playing casually. And then once the game is over? He doesn't care at all whether he won or lost. It's infuriating sometimes.

Thanks to also being an extremely competitive person, I saw through it pretty quickly the first few games I ever played with him. But nobody else does. It seemed like nobody ever tried to win by comparison. So when he and I are in the same game, I know I'm going to lose. And he'll use the other people at the table even if I can see it happening. Even if I made comments about it mid-game, nobody would believe me.

So I got petty. I couldn't beat him at the manipulation game. Instead, I turned him into a meme. When he ever looked like he was behind, and someone noticed, I'd say in a light-hearted conspiratorial way, "[his name] is always ahead." Repeated it whenever he would take the lead and eventually when he won the game. "You see? [His name] is always ahead."

It caught like wildfire. Our other friends started using the catchphrase, even in games where I wasn't there. People started using attack cards on him more often. They'd be less friendly with him about trading. People would snub him even when he was so far behind there was no catching up. The day I realized how much it got to him, was one day he told me how much that phrase impacted his ability to play games with friends. It ruined a lot of his fun. Sometimes new friends who didn't even play with us that often would use it. I didn't realize how much damage it caused. All I wanted was for people to be more wary of his manipulation tactics. But instead I took something fun from a good friend and made it miserable.

So I haven't said it for years since. But our other friends still remember and will say the phrase from time to time. He's always ahead.

I'm the only girl

[–] BellyPurpledGerbil@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Literally moved everything to Linux (Nobara) like 3 weeks ago and the only thing I can't get to work is Bizhawk which I can easily get around. It's insane how far Linux has come for gaming and whatnot.

[–] BellyPurpledGerbil@sh.itjust.works 35 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I've attempted to submit PRs to open source projects for most of my career and it's such a fuckin nightmare. 99% of the time I'm just trying to patch a bug. I get:

  • Ignored for months and eventually rejected without reason
  • Repeated pushback on whether the fix is necessary
  • Snarky feedback
  • I have had multiple occasions where one of the regular maintainers copied my code to a new branch and PR, then merged my changes under only their name, instead of sending me review comments or collaborating on edits

Open source is often not open contribution. The reason why open source projects die isn't because nobody is contributing. It's because project owners usually kinda suck. It's like contributing to StackExchange. IDK if it's just that programmers tend to be contentious assholes or what.

Edit: Don't get me started on abandonware. I don't know if anyone uses FoundryVTT but module creators tend to abandon their software and never update it again, forcing people to fork it just to maintain the project through new versions

[–] BellyPurpledGerbil@sh.itjust.works 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Everyone I need to talk to is in my contacts. If you're not in my contacts, my phone doesn't even ring. You go straight to voicemail.

I was fine with phone calls when I was younger. Now it's mostly spam robocalls or scammers or both. Nobody seems interested in solving those problems.

[–] BellyPurpledGerbil@sh.itjust.works 72 points 2 months ago (18 children)

The Dead Internet conspiracy theory was written with total crackpot paranoid thinking about ruling elites, likely antisemitic undertones, and general tinfoil hat reasoning about AI. Plus generative language models were nowhere near advanced or skilled enough at the time the conspiracy was purported to be happening.

But it was accidentally prophetic in at least two ways by 2024:

  1. Corporations have completely strangled online social spaces to the point that most people only visit about 1 to 3 of them, and
  2. Online discourse in those social spaces has been absolutely captured and manipulated by multiple governments trying to manipulate other countries and stir them into pointless ragebait frenzies.

It wasn't due to the illuminati, the Jews, or anything weird and bigoted conspiracies of old have traditionally blamed. It was thanks to billionaires, corporate and government espionage, AI grifters, and unregulated scammer networks (digital currency counts too) jumping onto the same technology at the same time and ruining everything on the Internet in similar ways.

I use a similar example.

If I went to a restaurant and ordered a 3 meat sandwich, and they gave me a hotdog, I'd be fucking pissed. Likewise if I ordered a hotdog and they gave me a taco with solidified beef and relish, I'd be confused, and concerned that I got somebody else's weird special taco order.

Categories aren't limited only to the forms and functions, but expectations. You can redefine or consolidate terms all you like but all you're doing is causing confusion. If that's what people are after then good troll I guess.

I got this kind of support from my parents nearly 20 years ago. It was absolutely lucky and I got access and care in ways others didn't. It made me feel guilty the older I got and the more trans friends I made, who didn't have anything close to what I had. I feel very sad about it. My life wasn't perfect, I still have problems, but probably way fewer than the alternative.

In my day to day life I try to make up for it by helping other trans people. I become the support that I always had. It's not as easy as it looks. Hope you're doing well and I wish for you and others reading this to find support where you can get it. I know I'm trying to pay it forward. And so will others. Look for the helpers.

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