I made it work. When I'm called out, I go like: "Actually, there is a crucial aspect about point X (10 minutes ago) that we just skipped: ..." and it makes me seem thoughtful and thorough.
AddLemmus
joined 4 months ago
Oh yes. Quite enabling that where I live, the last opportunity is basically Thursday 4 pm, next opportunity Monday morning, but then the line is usually busy.
I don't have that, I can remember a few things back to age 3/4. But an ex has this, starting most memories around age 10 - 12, and I'm just surprised how that doesn't spark a thorough medical investigation. Just nobody cares.
I don't dream about fancy vacations and places far away. There is just this 6 hour bike tour starting and finishing at my very home that I thought of, connecting my favourite tour with my favourite hike in a circle. That's my dream vacation.
Yet another summer ends without it.
SO many math tests where I gave 100 % correct answers but only made the first 60 %. I didn't even know this was related. Maybe the teachers should have investigated this further. Because it's odd, isn't it? If I were just bad at math, I'd either make many mistakes, or cherry-pick parts of the tests that I can do. But not do the first 60 % and then stop due to time running out. They should also have gotten the hint when they could always ask me something in class and I would know.
This went on at university (which I never finished) and certifications (still passed, because they typically have passing scores of 50 - 70 %).
Engineered staple foods (such as Jimmy Joy, Huel, ...) really took the pressure off for me. I can still cook or make something else, but having this very decent fallback plan puts me at ease.
Relatable. Fuzzing around going to an appointment early in the morning with poor preparation is one of the worst things about it. Being in place X at time Y, having packed A,B,C and being showered and dressed appropriately is something I'm struggling with. For decades, I thought the reason was that I'm just an assclown.
A typical day can feel like a series of appointments, to which I show up late, unshowered and sweaty, stammering my excuses, getting scolded and doing some kind of sad clown performance.
A perspective that helps me sometimes: It's all just a quest to keep the pets alive and well, in a world of arbitrary rules and events.
Regarding the specific water bottle thing: The only thing that helps me is to place these things BLOCKING the door.
But indeed, Modafinil got me in a state where I could handle normal everyday things like that with ease like normal people. Had to stop it due to handling side effects poorly and hoping for new meds next month. Try to find the right thing for your specific situation. Like others pointed out, it might be an anti-depressant, can't tell from just one text.
Over the years, I actually managed to change my inner monologue narrative. When a day like yours happens, I pat myself on the back and say: Pretty impressive how you pushed to the absolute personal limit, even towards a goal that turned out to be too high.
Dishwasher is really crucial. I knew that and wanted one for 20 years, but, well, ADHD. Finally 2 years ago got my first 0-installation dish washer, one of those small ones where you can just pour the water in. When it broke, I got a small real one. Installation required a little more mental energy, but so worth it.
I'm currently shooting low, and one pomodoro unit per day already makes a productive day. So much better than nothing! I think of it like squid game: I got 50 minutes to study, then they shoot the ones with the least knowledge on the subject. That means no glance at the phone even when it makes a sound, no toilet breaks, no water breaks (water that is in direct reach may be used while one hand is free).
If I had done even 25 minutes per day after official education, I'd be such an expert 15 years later!
My current goal is to become an absolute unit within 8 years. My CV looks like one, but I'm not.
I realised just after decades that some things that tend to fly around all the time over and over again have no defined place. My solution: There needs to be an all-default trunk. Old rubber bands, Covid tests, screws from an old laptop I'll totally reassemble one day, socks with holes that are not broken enough to throw away, ...
Also, recycling is nice in general, but in a cleaning frenzy, all garbage needs to go into the bag. If future-self wants to recycle, have fun with the bag in the basement.
It works!
Thanks! For my kid, I gamify it up a notch: His life works on "quests" such as 10 minute room cleaning, letter to a grandparent, 10 minute reading, homework etc., for which he gains loot boxes. Those are little physical boxes containing a made-up currency and other small rewards such as candy, 5 cents - $ 1 real money (his only way to get allowance!), stickers etc. The made-up currency can buy prices such as puzzles, books, toys. About 2 - 3 times per year, there is a legendary coin in it which can be traded for a huge price worth $ 50 - $ 100.
Not sure if saving him or messing up his reward system, but the stuff gets done and he's doing great!
Also annoying though are people who think they "get it", stop listening and be interruptive after a few words, and totally miss the crucial part that comes later.
Other neurodivergent people are hard to hang out with, except for sharing our grievances in memes :-)