this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2024
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politics

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[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 112 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Missed opportunity for the title:

"Ted Cruz humiliated by Pecker"

[–] Jimmyeatsausage@lemmy.world 76 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Ted Cruz in trouble after Pecker leaks at Trump trial...more at 11.

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 16 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

It reads like a radio DJ joke:

"Looks like Ted Cruz humiliated as Pecker spills beans on Trump's vicious insults.

Ted Cruz just learned the hard way—dealing with a little Pecker can be really embarrassing!"

(pregnant pause)

"And heres Taylor Swift..."

[–] geekworking@lemmy.world 25 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Ted Cruz Slammed By Pecker

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 8 points 6 months ago
[–] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

"Pecker is pain in Ted Cruz' ass."

[–] rebelsimile@sh.itjust.works 8 points 6 months ago

Pecker revelation in court shames Ted Cruz.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)

The headline they did use makes my silly brain think that Ted Cruz has a sentient penis. Which makes me sick because now I am thinking about Ted Cruz's penis 🤢

[–] Jimmyeatsausage@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Youhumans and yourfeelings, always getting in the way of BIG CASH PAYOFF$$$

[–] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

Maybe try this one instead:

“Ted Cruz rubs Pecker wrong.”

[–] ptz@dubvee.org 103 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Can someone with no sense of shame actually be humiliated, though?

Kindof the Republican version of "If a tree falls in the woods, does it make a sound?"

As melon scratchers go, that's a honey doodle.

[–] nkat2112@sh.itjust.works 34 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Enquirer headlines from the period attacking Mr Cruz included: "Ted Cruz Sex Scandal – 5 Secret Mistresses", "Ted Cruz Shamed By Porn Star" and "Perv Ted Cruz Caught Cheating".

They might have been even more compelling headlines if they each ended with "in Cancun", but anyway.

[–] Doesnotexist@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago

Every article fits trump perfectly. It’s ALWAYS projection.

[–] errer@lemmy.world 26 points 6 months ago

Ted Cruz: “Being humiliated is my fetish!”

[–] ShittyBeatlesFCPres@lemmy.world 24 points 6 months ago (1 children)

This pecker spilling beans!

[–] BubbleMonkey@slrpnk.net 12 points 6 months ago

New Lemmy motto just dropped!

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 21 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 6 months ago

And Greg Abbott. There's plenty of shame to go around. Not that they are capable of shame, empathy, kindness, or other normal human feelings.

[–] jkrtn@lemmy.ml 3 points 6 months ago

Texas sure has several strong contenders for being the biggest disgrace.

[–] MehBlah@lemmy.world 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)

No one deserves humiliation more than ted.

[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] DragonTypeWyvern 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Jimmyeatsausage@lemmy.world 20 points 6 months ago

Rafael doesn't think that's a real thing, and we should respect that for him.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 19 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I don't think Ted Cruz can feel humiliation.

[–] jkrtn@lemmy.ml 8 points 6 months ago

Rafael is a slug eating the nation's lettuces.

[–] homesweethomeMrL@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago (2 children)

When Cancun Cruz was asked what he thought of Pecker's testimony, he sniffed sanctimoniously that he is "not interested in revisiting ancient history." I'll bet. I can only imagine how humiliating it must be for Cruz to have to humble himself before the man who publicly shamed him, all to keep his seat in the Senate where no one likes him anyway.

On days like these, Ted probably wishes he had pursued his dream of making a "teen tit film" rather than becoming the disgrace of the Lone Star State.

Sure thing . . . Ted

[–] Wrench@lemmy.world 17 points 6 months ago

he is “not interested in revisiting ancient history.”

Except when the SCOTUS and state courts are ruling on modern cases. Like taking away women's rights.

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Sanctimoniously

More like Santorumoniously

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Wait, what ? Trump's Pecker leaks ?

[–] subignition@kbin.social 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

No, Ted Cruz's pecker started pouring out beans... 😭

[–] HauntedBucket@lemm.ee 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'm pretty sure that's Ted Cruz's only state of being

[–] Gork@lemm.ee 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Ted Cruz is only one being and not many.

[–] Grobmobularb@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago (3 children)
[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago

A lot of conservatives are. Think about the mindset. Conservatives crave authority. Authoritarianism, the strong man, a daddy figure even. That's the heart of conservatism. They want to follow something. They want someone to tell them what to do. It leads right into the fetish.

[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I hate that fucking word. The trumpers ruined it for me.

[–] athairmor@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

So, you no longer like watching your wife have sex with other men because trumpets coopted that word?

That sucks!

[–] elbarto777@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago

Oh no, no. I still do! I just call myself, well, a good host.

[–] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

I assure you that Heidi calls the shots in that household.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 3 points 6 months ago

He’s into it.

[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (2 children)

Pecker spills beans 8======D - - -

[–] kamenlady@lemmy.world 1 points 6 months ago

This Pecker is far too long for so few beans bein' spilled

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 months ago

And it couldn't have happened to a better person.