this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2024
41 points (90.2% liked)

No Stupid Questions

35727 readers
1026 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I, am trying to understand if I have habits. My definition of a habit is: "Something that you do often and regularly, sometimes without knowing that you are doing it" from the Harvard Dictionary

And It might look weird written here, but, I am not certain I have Habits. The most classic example is "Brush your teeth every night and morning", but I don't see myself naturally going to do it and most of the time I forget this and can't seem to do it everytime a lot. So I can't take that as an example of a Habit.

I eat everyday. But I don't naturally go unconsciously eat every day. I forget every morning to eat, which makes me hungry at 12h, and at night I go est because I feel in my belly I need food, or because my Girlfriend is angry I didn't eat yet very late because she asks me almost daily.

Hell I adore coffe, but in the morning I can just fully not think about doing a coffee. And I do take a coffee almost daily but because I think about all my pack of coffees that I putted behind my monitor with my grinder. It's not a "natural thing I go do"? Because I can forget it if there is no joy stimuli for a coffee.

Ok last thing. I try to go swimming, but it's because my girlfriend reminds me I really wanted to delete my belly, or because I think about my ideal me being more in shape and less tired everyday (which I've seen results on that part before stopping for no reason 2 weeks). When I go to the swimming pool, I put my stuff in the same area of Lockers, not always the same but the same area because I won't forget. And I then go put my towel near the exit of the pool to dry myself when getting out of the water. Are those two things habits, or are those things logical choices that make sense in the current situation and I am overthinking this?

This is the longest question ever, but yeah, what's a Habit I think, I've been running the question in my head for a few weeks now

top 26 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] takeheart@lemmy.world 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeah the locker/towel thing would be a habit especially if you don't actively think about it.

You may not have a strong daily routine but all humans have habits and it's precisely because you don't actively think about them a lot that it's can be hard to become cognizant of them.

They also include behavioral preferences such as scratching your chin with your right hand when lost in thought πŸ€”, calling your girlfriend 'honey' frequently, consuming certain foods/beverages more than others, separating the trash, opening up social Media on your smart phone when bored, or taking your jacket with you when you go outside.

Those are not the same for everyone but everyone has them useless maybe some severe medical condition is present.

[–] Kyoyeou@slrpnk.net 4 points 6 months ago

Thank you so much for this response!!!

[–] monsterpiece42@reddthat.com 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Not sure if you are per se, but this is a commonly felt sentiment in the neurodivergent community. Especially ADHD and Autistic peeps.

[–] Kyoyeou@slrpnk.net 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, that, might be the reason I I fell lost about what a Habit is. I've been ridding on the question of trying to understand myself better for the past few months. I stopped thinking about it for a while waiting for the moment I could go see a professional and get an official thing, because I was also scared that trying to look too much into it I don't want to "take, or push back" certain traits of myself to enter in a certain "shape" of people. But recently a person told me I should try to use a calendar to work on and create habits and the question of habits has been turning around in my head

[–] monsterpiece42@reddthat.com 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Ok well if you are neurodivergent, a couple things:

Autism self diagnosis is valid if you do your research. University of WA recently did a study that figured that out.

ADHD typically needs a diagnosis from a professional to be sure, but it's not super hard to guess if you have it. Some symptoms of ADHD can be caused by other conditions (anxiety especially) so navigate that one with caution.

If you are neurodivergent, typically the answer is routines rather than habits. I find them much easier to implement. Just decide the task you want to make into a routine, decide the steps you want to do it in, and then decide to always do it that way, or at least until you want to optimize or tweak it. A simple routine I do is "keys, wallet, phone, ear buds" while tapping my pockets on the way out of the door.

[–] Kyoyeou@slrpnk.net 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Thank you for those words. I'm waiting to finally go back to my country and stay there long enough to have the time to see someone and get to know myself more definitely to just have that answer in my life

[–] monsterpiece42@reddthat.com 1 points 6 months ago

Good luck on your travels! The road to enlightenment is lifelong, not a race. I wish you the best!

My idea is something like showering, or locking your door/car. You can find yourself questioning it: did I wash my X? Did I lock my front door? You did it because it's a "force of habit".

[–] mrcleanup@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

There's a route you take when you walk to the front door, there's a hand you open it with, there's a way you shift your weight as you open it. Yes, usually going to the pastry shop on the weekend can be a habit too, but there really are tons your never think about.

When someone calls your name, do you look or not? Fast or slow? When someone tells you their name do you repeat it to yourself in your head? Any of these things you do consistently without thinking are habits, and anything you do consistently through mental effort can be too, even if they aren't automatic.

[–] Smoogs@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

β€œDelete my belly” this is hilarious

[–] Kyoyeou@slrpnk.net 2 points 6 months ago

Skadoosh, boom no belly!

[–] Tadpole@aussie.zone 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Habits can be really hard. I really struggle with them as part of my ADHD. I could have written this post myself.

It might be worth considering an ADHD assessment. ADHD and autism commonly occur together

[–] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Every day I get closer to booking an appointment with a dr to discuss ADHD and Autism, for years people around me and in professional worlds have said I exhibit lots of the symptoms.

Then I Rea's things like this and think maybe I really do.

Although I've made it to 30 without a problem I think.

[–] Tadpole@aussie.zone 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I sought a diagnosis because I wasn't able to function in daily life. I genuinely believe that I would have become homeless because of my inability to get and keep a job. I was really struggling, and getting diagnosed and treated for it has changed my life in fundamental ways. It allowed me to access supports that were otherwise unavailable to me.

I still have problems with executive dysfunction and memory and those sorts of things, but I can actually function and have a life now.

In saying that, you don't have to have problems of that severity to justify seeking a diagnosis. If you think you might have ADHD and you think you might benefit from treatment, I encourage you to explore your options. It might end up changing your life for the better even if you think you've done alright for yourself so far.

It can be rather expensive though. Whether you think it is worth the cost will be up to you. I spent around 10% of my savings at the time to get diagnosed, and I am so glad that I did.

[–] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

My biggest problem in life is anything outside work. Going to the shops, Drs appointments, cleaning etc all insurmountable chores. They're not even that big. Which drives me mad.

Along with the stupid amounts of money I spend hobby hopping.

I used to work away on a mine site for one month then get one week off and that was a simple life, routine and work. Now I live in town work a regularish job life has become hard.

[–] Tadpole@aussie.zone 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That sounds incredibly frustrating. It's like suffering twice; once because you don't get the benefits of having the thing done, and again because you start beating yourself up for not being able to do the thing.

I feel very lucky that I had a close friend who was willing to do all the admin work to help me get diagnosed. I definitely wouldn't have been able to do it all by myself.

[–] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 1 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Yeah this reminds me I need to send an email to cancel a gym membership from my old gym. Save myself 20 dollars a week. Just need to send an email. I'm doing it right now

[–] Kyoyeou@slrpnk.net 2 points 6 months ago

I need to rly get my team tickets back are the prices are gone go up πŸ˜… thought about it for the last 3 days

[–] Tadpole@aussie.zone 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

How did you go with the email?

[–] Aussiemandeus@aussie.zone 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I sent it, so well I guess cheers

[–] Tadpole@aussie.zone 2 points 6 months ago

That's good to hear. Well done!

[–] Kyoyeou@slrpnk.net 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Thank you, I'm actually awaiting to go back to my country and have the time to see someone to finally get the answer, while I wait I'm left with questions I try to answer for myself

[–] Tadpole@aussie.zone 1 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I do think the pool stuff would count as a habit. Do you have to make the decision to put your stuff in those locations? Or do you just do it, as if you've already made the decision?

[–] Kyoyeou@slrpnk.net 1 points 6 months ago

I do think about the fact it makes sense to out it at the same place to find it easier, then from that I without thinking but it where it was last time

[–] awwwyissss@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago

I usually think of habits in terms of willpower. It's just one perspective, which is focused on the development of positive habits and routines.

Willpower is like muscle. You can only use so much before you get tired and it stops working, and if you regularly use it eventually it will get stronger. So, the strength of a habit depends on how much willpower it takes to complete. If you go for a run every morning without even thinking about it, that's a strong habit. If you do it regularly but have to drag yourself out of bed, it's a weak habit.

Worth noting that a key to building habits is to work on one at a time until it takes very little willpower.

[–] Paragone@lemmy.world -4 points 6 months ago

A Habit is when it takes you less brain to do it, because it has become automatic.

What we call "muscle memory" is actually Kahneman1 mind, he calls it "System 1", but that's a useless label, without context, and its function is imprint->reaction.

"Thinking Fast & Slow", the most profoundly-important book in the whole world, right now ( because the ideologies/prejudices are trying to displace Kahneman2 mind, considered-reasoning, from all authority in our world, and the more stressed everybody gets, the more success they have in doing-so ) is on the difference between the 2 systems.

Imprint->reaction mind can be quite useful, in one's mental-economy, as it makes things happen on autopilot, but .. if one tolerates its systematic substituting of its convenient reactions, for the actually required actions, .. it can become strategically dangerous..