this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2024
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The Onion

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[–] Digital_man@lemmy.one 121 points 7 months ago (4 children)

I'd watch the ever loving fuck out of this.

[–] AFaithfulNihilist@lemmy.world 42 points 7 months ago (3 children)

It's a 2-hour long dialogue between Bond (played by Wallace Shawn) and a villainous billionaire media mogul Fryston Gallibre (played by Peter Capaldi) who is trying to collapse western democracy through ever more bland homogenized remakes of beloved franchises.

In the end, Fryston realizes that Bond has never seen any of these movies or shows and isn't really a fanboy of anything so he is immune to this assault on culture. Bond actually leaves confused and when trying to explain the whole thing back at the office he stops mid-sentence and asks the widowed Mrs. Money Penny (Judi Dench) If she'd like to go see a movie together, "apparently they're quite popular!"

[–] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 13 points 7 months ago

My Dinner with Bond.

[–] S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 7 months ago

Buddy.you dream too much... Keep at it!

[–] tsonfeir@lemm.ee 5 points 7 months ago

Can’t wait for those action figures.

[–] Dkarma@lemmy.world 18 points 7 months ago

I was gonna say same. Give him all kinds of crazy gadgets but make him super serious.

[–] CoggyMcFee@lemmy.world 13 points 7 months ago

“But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the martini in front of me.”

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[–] MargotRobbie@lemm.ee 108 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (7 children)

You know this is an Onion article because the real frontrunner for the role of James Bond is going to be, like every other role, esteemed Academy Award nominated character actress Margot Robbie.

[–] figaro@lemdro.id 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

You know at first I thought this account was a joke, but it's been months and it's still going on. Honestly I'm convinced

[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 5 points 7 months ago

it's really her !

[–] ProfessorProteus@lemmy.world 7 points 7 months ago (1 children)

See, I was gonna say Chris Pratt. He seems to be everywhere recently...

[–] Coelacanth@feddit.nu 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] ProfessorProteus@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

It's-a Bond. James-a Bond.

[–] Ulvain@sh.itjust.works 7 points 7 months ago

Seriously though, there's a potentially great reboot opportunity there..

It would have to be very intelligently written to avoid the "reboot with women protagonist" clichés/pitfalls, the fact that 007 is a woman would have to strike just the right tone.. misogyny would probably need to be faced with a good dose of "ok boomer" smirking, it would absolutely have to pass the Bechdel test..

But yea, that would be the first James Bond I'd go see in 2 decades, esteemed Academy Award nominated character actress Margot Robbie.

[–] RedditWanderer@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] cmbabul@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

Lose the Pratt and I’m in

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[–] Iamsqueegee@sh.itjust.works 91 points 7 months ago

You Fell Victim to One of the Classic Blunders

[–] JoMomma@lemm.ee 70 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 30 points 7 months ago

Rule of Acquisition 300: If you've got it, flaunt it.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 30 points 7 months ago

Inconceivable!

[–] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 23 points 7 months ago (1 children)

After seeing his performance in My Dinner with Andre (1981), casting director Janet Hirshenson was so fond of his delivery of the word "inconceivable" that she cast him as Vizzini in The Princess Bride (1987).

dude got the job because of that line. no wonder its iconic

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[–] PlasticExistence@lemmy.world 18 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] Ashyr@sh.itjust.works 15 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I do not think that word means what you think it means.

[–] PlasticExistence@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago (1 children)
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[–] turkishdelight@lemmy.ml 16 points 7 months ago

inconceivable!

[–] morphballganon@lemmy.world 16 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 21 points 7 months ago (5 children)

I've been looking at too many Trek memes, because my mind immediately pictured the wrong Q character.

But also yes.

[–] grue@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Who says they aren't the same character?

[–] cmbabul@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago

I thought the same, but he would actually be great in both roles

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[–] runeko@programming.dev 11 points 7 months ago

Oh, and we could have an X-men crossover with Danny DiVito as Wolverine.

[–] iamjackflack@lemm.ee 10 points 7 months ago

Yes please!

[–] mellowheat@suppo.fi 9 points 7 months ago (2 children)
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[–] AngryishHumanoid@lemmy.world 9 points 7 months ago

He's got my vote.

[–] Fester@lemm.ee 6 points 7 months ago

Ok but can he play Bond AND Batman? If not I’d rather he take Batman because the franchise needs to finally be perfected.

[–] BroBot9000@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I would so watch a good parody bond film but Hollywood would never make this.

A creative casting for a roll of a traditionally beautiful person.

Do you know how many watch ads and car commercials they would miss out on.

No, the next bond will be filmed like the latest marvel garbage. So evenly lit that you’d think it was a commercial with how clean it looks.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 15 points 7 months ago (6 children)

a good parody bond film

Hey, at least we have Austin Powers!

[–] BroBot9000@lemmy.world 8 points 7 months ago

Oh gosh. Freaking classics.

Imagine if they made those today. Like not another remake or sequel but like actually made them nowadays. Or Wayne’s World?

I just don’t see it happening without it falling completely flat due to executives being tone deaf shills.

That whole part about mocking the paid ads would just be a paid advertising segment.

[–] AngryishHumanoid@lemmy.world 6 points 7 months ago

Austin Powers was such a successful parody it's the REASON they rebooted the Bondiverse with Daniel Craig as a more grounded Bond, and IMO .

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[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 14 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I would so watch a good parody bond film but Hollywood would never make this.

You mean like Get Smart, or Johnny English, or Top Secret, or the David Niven Casino Royale, or Spy, or Spy Hard, or The Man Who Knew Too Little, or True Lies, or Leonard Part 6, or I Spy, or Spies Like Us, or Spy Dad, or The Spy Next Door, or The Spy Who Dumped Me, or The Brothers Grimsby, or S*P*Y*S, or Code Name: The Cleaner, or Austin Powers?

Hollywood fucking loves making parody James Bond films, and some of them are occasionally good.

[–] BroBot9000@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago (4 children)

Yeah they sure like to beat dead horses.

Austin Power, Johnny English and Get Smart would fall under good enough to watch.

The rest is studio executives wanting some of that cake.

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[–] Son_of_dad@lemmy.world 5 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I dunno what happens to actors when they play James Bond, but they tend to physically fall apart afterwards. Daniel Craig somehow looks like he's 80 now

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