this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2024
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$800 to pet a cat. The cat likes being petted and his name is Jim.

top 34 comments
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[–] EndOfLine@lemmy.world 40 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Am I expected to pay or be paid the $800?

[–] PeterPoopshit@lemmy.world 22 points 8 months ago

Your choice

[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 26 points 8 months ago (1 children)

You wouldn’t download a cat.

[–] metaStatic@kbin.social 13 points 8 months ago

FUCK YOU I WOULD IF I COULD

[–] kat_angstrom@lemmy.world 23 points 8 months ago

Yes, I would accept getting paid $800 to pet a cat. I'd take less, but now that you made the offer I'll just take that offer.

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 17 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Am I receiving the $800 or paying the $800?

I wouldn't pay any amount of money to pet a cat. But I would gladly pet a cat if I was paid any amount of money.

[–] EveryMuffinIsNowEncrypted@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 8 months ago (1 children)

Fuck no, that's way too much.

I'll pay $801 to pet the cat!

[–] knightmare1147@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I like where this is going. $801.01 to pet the cat.

[–] toasteecup@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)
[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago (1 children)

$801.01, 1 peso, and some bellybutton lint

[–] lemmy_nightmare@sh.itjust.works 6 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

And we have a winner 🏆, folks!!

[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 13 points 8 months ago

This sounds like a trick. Are you going to sell my organs?

[–] scytale@lemm.ee 12 points 8 months ago

My skin is sensitive to fur, but I'll gladly pet a cat if I get paid $800.

[–] jerrythegenius@lemmy.world 11 points 8 months ago

Depends wether I'm paying or being paid. Also what type of cat? That could be anywhere from a tame kitten to a fully grown tiger

[–] Klear@lemmy.world 10 points 8 months ago

Not sure I can afford to pay you 800 but I would really like to pet Jim...

[–] Vinny_93@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

Keep the money, I'll just pet Jimmy for free

[–] byroon@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago

I can pet my own cat for free

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 6 points 8 months ago (1 children)

I don't like furry textures, so I would not pay any amount of money to pet the cat. Actually, I'm more likely to pay money to not have to pet the cat. However, I would accept $800 to pet the cat.

I love cats, just, like, not touching me lol.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

But they're so fluffy and they smell good

[–] PM_ME_VINTAGE_30S@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 8 months ago (1 children)

But they're so fluffy

Yeah that's kinda the "problem." Unfortunately my brain doesn't have the tools to deal with those kinds of textures.

[–] Tangent5280@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

I'll modify the parameters to include those hairless sphinx cats, just for you.

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 5 points 8 months ago

How long do I get to pet the cat, and do I need to clean up his poops?

[–] streetfestival@lemmy.ca 5 points 8 months ago

Jim sounds nice. I'd pet him for free, even without the $800

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

Sure, how often will I get paid? Can I do this from home?

[–] Spendrill@lemm.ee 4 points 8 months ago

The word 'cat' doing a lot of heavy lifting in that sentence...

[–] LesserAbe@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

No, I've met Jim he's a total asshole

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

I accept your offer of giving me $800 to pet this cat named Jim. That should cover my travel expenses. When we doing this?

[–] dorumon@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

I have my own family cat and he won't ever leave me alone ever and hates when I leave. His name is guy and he likes to cuddle and purr on me or in my arms now and distrusts my mom so much so that he doesn't even let her hold him. She is the real owner of the cat.

[–] Blackout@kbin.social 1 points 8 months ago

Is it ugly?

[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 1 points 8 months ago

A lot of men pay $800 - or even more! - just to pet a pussy.

But paying for pussy just ain’t my thang.

[–] Fisch@lemmy.ml 1 points 8 months ago

No because what if Jay-Z offered me $500,000 to pet him?

[–] june@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

No. Seems like a trap.

[–] TruthAintEasy@kbin.social 1 points 8 months ago

I'd pet a cat because cat

[–] Lolman228@kbin.social -1 points 8 months ago

How much to cut it into small pieces and feed it to the hounds?