Ask Lemmy

Same problem as most everyone else really, one month away from homelessness.

Modern civilisation is ending and likely cannot be stopped.

Suggestions on a postcard pls.

gestures vaguely

Just began the process of divorcing my wife of 4 years for having a sexual relationship with someone I've been friends with for over 20 years. With the marriage goes my sense of financial security, a cohesive circle of close friends, a stable place to live, an adorable pup, and pretty much the entirety of my life plans for the next five years. I'm living paycheck to paycheck, and only barely so.

But I've learned to rely on myself and my resolve a lot more, and the relationship I've begun to forge with my inner-self is something I wouldn't trade away for anything. And I've become a lot closer with the friends I've retained, or it feels like I have.

Getting divorced at 57. Only married 8 years, but separated for almost 3 now. I hate online dating. I worry about being creepy when I see someone I'm attracted to. I can't bring myself to hit on anyone I work with, especially since I'm only attracted to women far younger than me (30s and early 40s). I guess I'm alone from here out, with my only physical contact coming from the occasional massage parlor.

I've always been quite minimalistic so saving money has been very easy for me. After getting fired from my last job over speaking out against the abusive management, I haven't returned to any work. I've also moved back home with my parents to not only save money but also take care of them as they get older and work on a relationship that never really was a relationship in the past (I found out in adulthood that I'm ADHD/Autistic).

It's been some time since I had been abruptly fired from my job and the lawyers regarding that situation have come and gone from my life. Now I'm limbo. I have enough saved money for at least a year, maybe two. My parents have been gently pushing me to find work.

I just don't want to work. Not anymore. All that's left are jobs at soulless corporations which suck all individuality, creativity and happiness out of you. I don't want to deal with people anymore. I barely want to leave the house knowing I have to share the roads with angry people aggressively driving their murder trucks.

I'm not very motivated to find a job at the never ending end of the world. I'm not sure how I can explain this to my parents who act as if the future is stable even when the news they consume everyday tells a story of a world unravelling.

The only thing I could do which would bring meaning to my current life situation is to join a group that focused on meaningful change for the future. Unfortunately, I live in a rural town that designed itself to have soulless suburbs and populated it with old folks who are completely out of touch with reality.

Trying to care for my partner with PTSD, she’s alcoholic and actively suicidal. Doctor is trying to help but mental health support has a huge waiting list (months and years). Her son, living with us, is retarded, rude, disrespectful, incompetent, and complains constantly about not being able to get a job so he can move out. (I’m not sure that he’s even employable). My ex wife kicked out my son because he and my youngest are arguing all the time and she (ex wife) can’t cope. He started moving in here but doesn’t get along with my partner so he ran away from home (he’s an adult). Now we have a room full of his stuff but don’t know where he is or whether he’s coming back.

I’m still getting over cancer treatment and l I’m so tired.

I’m fine, how are you?

After multiple times being essentially abandoned, I've learned to have absolutely zero sense of self worth. I'm beginning to see just how much that shows through in my behaviors.

For starters, I'm 20 hours late for this post. It's the two year anniversary of my mother dying of cancer. My brother died of cancer in August. My wife almost died this month. I can't sleep. I have too much anxiety. I don't have any face to face friends and I feel too burned out for anyone to want to be my friend.

Well, I recently got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. And instead of doing the smart thing, I've just been drinking myself to sleep multiple times a day, which is easy to do because I'm unemployed.

I'm constantly having to keep my head on a swivel because I pissed off a person known for shooting people and getting away with it - I didn't know this when I pissed him off. Honestly shocked that what I said pissed him off to the point he had his friends jump me.

And last night I ran into an old crush who is not single and started the process all over again of trying to get past it and just be friends with him. But it's hard to just let these feelings go. Fuck my life.

• I have no friends or family.
• I'm only avoiding suicide cos I've failed for 20yrs so proving I'm shit at it.
• My last attempt resulted in a nightmare hospital stay where I got barely any fucking care.
• I'm on probation for a crime I don't remember committing while psychotic on meth.
• Unemployed
• Polydrug addiction cos life is so shit but I have to remain sober.

~~Lost~~ Had to put my dog down on Wednesday.

My divorce finalizes on Monday.

It’s mostly the dog thing tho

I havent eaten anything but one small reduced portion of rice and noodles for the whole week

Cause PayPal and western Union do not give me the money they where supposed to

Im two of those reduced portions away from going hungry

I just want a nice warm meal honestly

And I hate that im even bringing this up, it feels icky to tell other what situation I am in

update: my gf whos in california on the other side of the world caught wind and just ordered me a big burger to ebb me over until the money arrives, man, shes the best

$130,000 in student loan debt. Cosigned by my family members who can't afford to pay either. I can't vent to them about it either.

I have a shit job, basically minimum wage, that I commute 45 minutes to.

I have a Bachelor's Degree in Game Programming. Guess how many of those jobs are available?

I lack the will to live, but don't have the strength to kill myself.

Money. Simple like that.

My mom was diagnosed with Ekbom Syndrom. She's been forced into early retirement because of it, but she doesn't have retirement, she's pulled out from it too many times.

I'm terrified I won't be able to support us both. I make only 62k, and I'm still paying off student loans from 20 years ago.

I wish I had other family to help me with the costs, but there's no one. I do have a brother, but he doesn't work and has spent the last 20 years living with my mom and playing video games. She was supporting them both. And don't think he's helping to care for her either.

I've talked her into moving states so that she's near me and I can help her more with stuff, so we're selling her very dilapidated house this summer. Because my brother destroys thing and she doesn't have the funds for upkeep, I don't think she'll be getting much from the sale.

My mom has been telling my brother she's going to buy him a house and I had to be the one to sit him down and tell him he'll be lucky to get a trailer, because she doesn't have any money. Once we sell her current house, that's it. She'll have that to buy something of her own, and if there's something leftover and I can't talk her out of it, maybe he'll get something for 50k.

I look at other friends with ailing parents and see the help they have from their siblings or family members, and I writhe with jealousy. Meanwhile my mom is digging imaginary parasites from her arms and feels like I think she's crazy.

Terrible lonelyness...

36 years old man, have been overweight almost all my life, balding, have only a few friends, lives alone.

I matured in my mid twenties, that is when I started being interested in finding a partner, unfortunately, I worked alternating 12h day/night shifts on an irregular schedule at the time, and my life was just work/eat/rest/sleep, I had no real time abd energy to meet new people.

After four and half years of that, I got a normal job, but felt completely lost in where to even start finding people, and still am now seven years later.

I work in IT, and am good at talking to people normally, but as soon as the talk get's more personal I don't really know how to keep going and be interesting, I also have trouble asking the right questions in the right way so I have a tendancy to seem self centered, but I am working on it.

The reason I can be this open about my issues here is that it helps me reflect on myself and analyze what I need to work on, and that I am writing behind a mask of annonymity.

Also, while I am very lonely, I know how to deal with it through distractions and shifting focus from the feelings, I know it isn't healthy, but I am a master of repressing feelings, sometimes I do let them out and give myself a good solid cry about the situation.

In the end, my life isn't terrible in general, I do stuff all the time, I own my own apartment, small car, good camera, decent computer and I realize i could be far worse off.

Disabled and alone is what's going on. I've only ever wanted to see the world burn.. Sometimes there is no better there's only existing..

Money and money

My wife began losing her sight 9 months ago and hasnt been able to work. She also has had vertigo for eight years and is losing most of her weight due to dietary restrictions, as well a a hyper sense of smell that is making her ill all the time. Disability is rejected, and paperwork for insurors trying not to pay is maddening. She has been under the care of a horrible doctor all her life who tells her that only Jesus can heal her. We are working poor in the US so we're fucked.

I feel chained to living a way I do not want to live, and if I were to try to escape, I wouldn't survive long

I have to make plans for a future I don't want

A future that does not matter to me

This isn't what I want

But I have no way out

Where to start? 😅

Short version: been sick in various forms for the last 4 years with leg infections, epididymitis, covid and awful fatigue. Finally got an answer this past week of low testosterone. GP is unhelpful - won't refer me to endocrinology or urology because things will just go back to normal if I lose weight.

Long version? Eh, on request. Typing on my phone is awful.

How can random folk on the Internet help? I've no idea! Is anyone knows how to brow beat the NHS GP service into actually caring about their patients is love to know the secrets.

No way to help, but:

TL;DR - my job sucks. Not enough to actually get sympathy from much of anyone, though.

More info if you want it:

My manager thinks he's the smartest man alive and is instantly better than everyone else on the team, but he's literally making every single bad choice he can.

I asked him a question about a specific implementation detail comment on an RFC the other day and he kept reiterating the plan for the overall feature.

Like, bro, I literally know the plan, just tell me whether or not the field is able to be used in the URL now. It was just abundantly clear that he had no idea what the answer was, but chose not to say "I don't know" and instead just kept reiterating the basic plan.

There was no miscommunication on my part. I'm successfully working on the ticket. He just didn't want to say "I don't know". He opted to waste my time as well as everyone else's on that call.

This, on top of pay issues (IE, them paying me very late), means I'm actively searching again. This job has been the biggest thorn in my ass for way too long.

It's hard to get sympathy from people, though, since I also get paid very handsomely. I've basically realized I need to just stop mentioning my job with people from my hometown. That's fine, though, again the main issue really is my manager. Other than him, to be real, my life is amazing.

I'm emotionally in a bad place from years of emotional abuse (as a child and an adult). I struggle with ADHD, major depression, and anxiety. I'm unemployed and desperate for a career change. My marriage is in the shitter and I have no friends or family to lean on for anything. I'm all alone....

I have a selection of social anxieties. Many of them revolve around me being let down so many times by people or groups I thought I belonged in. Any time I find some cool group, this feeling creeps up, letting me know "aw shit, here we go again". I'm sure the failures are a self fulfilling prophecy at this point. I suppose the solution would be to ignore all the warning signs and get used to people being genuinely nice (and then walking into the minefield as I ignore the warning signs. And the purgatory restarts).

Every day I go to work, come gome, sleep, etc. That's not the issue. The issue is that every day, I fear for my kids and family. I sit and wonder what of their future? Pollution and climate change is in our face and no government entity is doing a thing about it. No corporation is budging. It was over 50F in January where it should be below zero. Should I get a survival kit? Would it help? Do I need something to grab and go? How can I teach my kids survival skills in the wild when I have no experience myself? Where will we go? How will we get clean water and food when the system shuts down? What will we eat when we are rationing fresh water and the crops are dying due to heat and sun baking?

https://climatereanalyzer.org/clim/sst_daily/

A calvacade of concerns:

1. Black Sheep - I'm the black sheep of the family for various reasons too numerous to get I into here. But suffice to say I have effectively zero contact with most of my immediate family except for my parents. My parents keep trying to force me into fitting into their own view of things, whether it be religion, antivax, etc which has put strain on the relationship when I refuse to fit their mold for me.

2. Forgotten - I'm forgotten by any friends/family that I do still have contact with. They rarely, if ever, reach out on their own initiative. I rarely reach out partly because I'm busy with my own stuff and simply don't remember to do so, partly because I'm tired of always initiating, and partly because I don't see the point, as I've been burned too many times before and it likely won't last anyway.

3. Money - I have significant debt that I'm years away from paying off with my current budget, both due to necessary expenditures and not so necessary ones. I'm also significantly behind on my retirement savings, especially if I want to have anywhere near my current income when I retire, if I can ever afford to. Add day to day expenses and couple that with both a desire to still occasionally frivolously spend money and a strong loathing of being in debt and you have a recipe for significant stress all on its own.

4. Covid - I'm one of those people who has enough health concerns that I want to play it extremely safe when it comes to potentially contracting the virus. This has put a serious damper on trying to go out and meet new people.

Frankly I think its a minor miracle that I've managed to hold it together as well as I have.