Mildly Interesting

There is no "non-espresso" coffee in Italy. You're basically describing how the Americano came to be.

I don't understand what you mean by "regular (non-espresso) coffee".

I used to be all about a latte macchiato with an extra shot, then I got hooked on café con leche. After I returned home I found out a flat white is as close as you can get, without being a jerk who explains their custom order to every barista.

First time trying a flat white my wife and I had an epiphany. We always ordered cappuccino but didn't care about the foam. Now it's our go to coffee, unless I need to get a real energy boost. In that case ristretto or espresso with sugar is my go to.

I've personally have never heard of coconut milk in cà phê sữa đá (iced [condensed] milk coffee) before.

You must be thinking about cà phê dừa (coconut coffee), which usually has coconut milk and condensed milk

Though a hot small cup of cà phê trứng (egg coffee) is the best. You beat egg yolk into condensed milk and sugar, and then pour it into coffee. And it's so nice and creamy

I know this is a joke but as a burgeoning espresso snob, I can’t help myself from explaining:

A ristretto’s importance is in its stronger coffee flavor. It’s the same amount of coffee, but with less water run through the grounds. In a standard espresso, that last little bit of coffee added beyond a ristretto pull is much more watery, and so it mellows out the flavor. A ristretto is sharper and more of a punch. In my opinion, its most effective use is in a flat white, in which the aim is to remove as much water from the equation as possible and really let the coffee flavor shine through into the smaller amount of milk. Both ingredients’ flavors are more apparent in a flat white than in, say, a latte, which is in some regards a watered down flat white.

Also known as rocket fuel

Try titrating your way down slowly to a lungo, I bet you won't be disappointed once you get there.

Chocolate milk.

Here’s a blog that explains, and basically yes: https://www.brewcoffeehome.com/espresso-con-panna/

I thought a latte was supposed to have steamed milk and a cappuccino had frothed milk...

Junkie coffee: Snort a line of ground coffee, inject some hot water into your forearm

Many coffees have a natural fruitiness, and lemon helps to bring it out.