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You know what? Santos was pretty funny and was representative of the absurdity of our failing systems and the gullibility of the American people.
Also, I love the palpable irony of a member of Congress being expelled by other members of Congress for dishonesty and misrepresenting themselves.
Fuck it, him and pizza. He might have a few more laughs at his expense to give.
Also, I'm guessing McConnell didn't make the list because he's technically undead at this point.
No, Mitch McConnell is a turtle, we've been over this a number of times. Theylive to be like a 150 years old. But he might have another 100 years depending on the kind of turtle he is.
I've never thought that was fair to turtles.
They might be cold blooded, but they aren't that cold blooded.
If I'm being honest with myself, as much as I hate myself for saying it, it really depends on how "grateful" Boebert would be...
God I'm a terrible person.
You can fix her
Then you start thinking, if I also save trump, am I more likely to receive a handjob in a theatre?
yes, just ask trump to give you a handjob duh
If you’ve got a pussy he gives those out for free. Whether you want them or not.
Don't think it would take as much as a fire. Just take her to the movies.
When you're like "It must be an act, she can't be that crazy, right?" So you do it and then you realize that yeah, she's that crazy....
(But you still go back!)
She's going to shoot you in the dick and then tell all the country's untreated mentally ill that you're a pedophile.
This is what I’m saying! She could have lived her life in blissful ignorance as a moderately successful MILF pornstar! But you wanted to feel power this year. So now you’re going to feel my power, as it surges from me through you from nostril to rectum now until the end of tiiiiiime. And that’s.. wazzup.
(if you get this reference please be my friend)
I've been vegan for almost six years and I would still go for the beef tacos and pepperoni pizza. A week of explosive diarrhea is still better than the alternatives.
The pizza and tacos will fuck you up but at least you'll enjoy them
I'd rescue pizza and tacos. If I could rescue three I would rescue pizza twice.
If I could only save 9 things I would have so many tacos and pizzas
But there are 4 tacos...
Sorry, pizza and tacos, but I have to stay on guard to make sure the others don't escape.
Of course you save the pizza and tacos. The others can save themselves by pulling themselves out by the bootstraps.
Lol even if I could save all of them I'd still only take the pizza and tacos
I'd skip the saving and just spend my time kicking Trump in the balls.
Can I move Trump closer to the flames?
Only if you sacrifice both the pizza and the tacos.
We can make another
I'd sacrifice both food items to make sure the other fuckers die in the fire.
Anyone that isn't saving George Santos clearly doesn't find joy in life. That guy is unintentionally hilarious and it's easily the funniest story that we really didn't give enough credit to. I mean, for the memes alone I'm going Santos and Tacos
Let's please not laugh Santos into the Whitehouse.
At this point, I'm crossing my fingers for it. Santos coming out of nowhere to take the GOP nomination away from Trump would honestly be the best timeline. Somehow even with zero verifiable credentials I think we might be better off lmao
#3, the tacos and #9, the pizza.
#8 is actually Santos and he tried to fool me.
O I would rescue two humans. No one knows I have them after right? RIGHT??
Those look like Pizza Hut and Taco Bell. Assuming that, I would still save the pizza and tacos.
8 and 9.
I can listen to Santos weave tall tales about his life as I eat my pizza.
Which do I love more: America, or having a mob boss owe me a favor?
Bruh
Seriously, I'd pick any two of 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, or 9. Only so that I could have the satisfaction of running them back into the burning building.
I'm saving the pizza and Bobo the Clown. Imma turn her into a TikTok thot and make bank off incels.
Now let's do "Fuck, Marry, Kill" with the same group!
Wait, before I decide - how hot is the cheese on the pizza?
7 and 8, I don’t care how crazy she is
Your standards are absurdly low.
Nobody wants to marry her
For a reason. I wouldn't even fuck her with your dick.
That expression always confuses me. Like, are you standing between them, guiding him into her, tenderly holding his hips? Or have you procured his disembodied dick somehow and you're wearing it like a prosthesis?
I'm not trying to judge, but aren't all of the possible scenarios far more involved and upsetting than a traditional bubble and squeak?