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Why are we infantilizing adults? Interpersonal relationships are complex and nuanced; we can acknowledge and even warn against the potential dangers of severe age-gap relationships without insulting the autonomy and choices of those involved. These neo-puritanical bullshit tendencies creeping in on the left needs to stop; it's a trojan horse for the next generation of conservatives. Reject non-nuanced conservative-bate thinking.
I get what you're saying, but often the age gap isn'tthe problem: the men are.
When a 40 year old man dates a 20 year old, often times the man is an absolutely toxic child. That's why the relationships are bad.
If both people were actually decent then things are okay, but that ain't the case.
What on earth is going on with that picture? Apparently the main source is this picture here.
Who processed it and why?
I don't know what the impetus is, but some people seem compelled to put face filters on pretty much everything. I saw a post a while back with a historical photo that had been processed for some reason. It's absurd.
Happily married but from what I’ve encountered in the wild, I wouldn’t/couldn’t do anything under 28 or so. It’s a completely different worldview.
Not that worldview matters that much when having sex
Yeah, but that only lasts 90 seconds. What do you do for the rest of the day?
Plot the downfall of the bourgeoisie
Send her home? It's not like you are forced to spend a whole day with a hookup?
Cry.
As I've gotten older, it's not even just the worldview anymore, the body can look attractive but one look at the face and if the woman is young enough it's an immediate turn-off.
Different phases of life, different priorities, and different perspectives. Someone in their 20's is still trying to figure out what they want to do with their life. I've abandoned the search and am now stuck somewhere between raising my kids and trying to buy myself some free time before I die.
I also think you have to be friends with your spouse to have a successful marriage. Lucky for me, my wife is my best friend. It's pretty difficult to build any sort of meaningful relationship with someone you have very little in common with.
Nah on tinder it's 18 to 118 for me. Keep it legal, don't hurt anybody, have fun.
don't hurt anybody
Gonna have to be real careful in your upper range then.. Not judging, just warning 😁
How do people deal with getting older when the hottest girls are out of your age range.
I was hoping as I get older women I'm most attracted to would get older. Seems my standards are just lowering but a 20 year is still banging.
Disclaimer: I'm old and retired. My wife is 7 years younger than me and we've been married 37 years.
You will always stop and look at and admire a pretty young lady. You might even think to yourself, "If I was 40 years younger!" And then immediately think to yourself "But any way".
As you get older you will become more attracted to older women. Not because you think they are prettier than younger women, that's biology for you. But, you will find the personality and cultural reference points of age far more compelling than plain beauty in your relationships. Turns out, shared life experiences and culture means more in the long run than the smell of bubble gum and all the drama of youth.
Eh. I want to fuck a 20 year old. I want to have a relationship with a 40 year old. I've been in two different casual relationships with women younger than me (33/23, and 35/26) and they were exhausting. Not having any common cultural touchstones was a much bigger bummer than I thought it would be. So I wanted to spend an hour or two with them, but I find myself perfectly content spending an entire day with my current (39/35) fiance.
You're still gonna be attracted to 20yos physically. There's over 100k years of evolution that wants you to mate with the fittest, most attractive mate that you can. But is that a person you actually want to spend time with outside of the bedroom? So, yeah, your standards in regards to physical attractiveness are gonna drop as you age, but your other standards will likely change too.
How do people deal with getting older when the hottest girls are out of your age range.
There are certain qualities a man needs to consistently attract hot women. Age does not matter as much as one would think. It certainly doesn't matter in a way that is fair to women.
So as the hottest girls leave my age range, I don't much think about it. I'm turning 40 this year, and I'm worrying about how old I'll be at my kids' graduations not what any 20-somethings think about old man me.
when the hottest girls are out of your age range.
I'm 46. I'm married, but if I was single, I find women near my age more attractive than much younger women. The sophistication and poise that can come with age is more attractive to me. I'm not saying I would kick either of the above women out of my bed, but I'd much rather be with someone in their 40s.
One aspect: I feel once you start thinking about having a family (and not being a farting old decrepid mess by the time your children are 20yo) you really start looking for someone who can be committed and would be interested in starting one, and that really doesn't include hot 20yo girls.
Another: People who age gracefully show they can take care of themselves and look amazing any age. That is powerful. Combined with the fact 25+ have a much better sense of style and manners, and understand the world so much more in a nuanced way.
You pivot from being attracted to physical attributes towards being attracted to personality.
In my experience, it doesn't matter what you set your age or distance range to in Tinder, because you're going to get people 10 years older or younger and a hundred miles farther away than you specify anyway.
Divorced? Who the hell can even afford to get married anymore...
That’s one way to lower the divorce rate.
As an actual 40 YO divorced dust that used apps for a bit, I felt weird doing 10 +/-, but I can't imagine there are THAT many guys with such a wide range.
You're going to be surprised at the number of young women with daddy issues.
You mean 18-99? Haven't used tinder in ~7 years or so, but I believe there was an upper limit. Found out by trial and error that apparently some women enter their year of birth instead of their age, when I matched with someone who was allegedly 97 years old.
As a 40 year old dude I don't think I'd be setting my age range to that upper bound if I were to be divorced. More like 35 and that's with large caveats.
I thought this was the default setting until the user goes in to edit preferences. It was doing that to me until I went in to stop it from flinging my profile at literally everyone.
Isn't the rule of thumb half your age plus 7?
So 27 is cool for a 40year old?