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Men, how well do you know your best male friends? (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by MarcellusDrum@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

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I keep seeing men online (Reddit, Instagram, TikTok) saying how they don't know personal details about their male friends of several years. It is mostly said in a proud context, or in disbelief when a woman talks about it.

I'm talking about knowing someone for years and not knowing what they do for work specifically, their relationship status/major issues, their life goals, their family situation, birthdays, and stuff like that.

For context, I am a man in my 20s. I have a close friend group of around 10 people. We all know each other very well. We have a group chat, and meet at least once a week (obviously some people can't always make it). We know a lot of details about each other, so this idea of being close friends with someone and not knowing personal stuff about each other seems foreign and weird to me.

Does it actually happen, or just internet hyperbole?

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[–] MrFunnyMoustache@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 year ago

I know what industry they work at, but if they switched to a different employer, I might only find out months or years later sometimes because we almost never talk about work outside of work unless someone asks for advice.

Birthdays are actually quite easy, every time I learn of someone's birthday, I put it on an app called Birday and I get a notification two weeks before their birthday. Before that, I missed people's birthdays regularly.

I know if they are single/have a partner/married, have kids or not, or are divorced, but I might not know if they have had an argument with their partner and are sleeping on the couch or something.

At the same time, I have a lot of personal things I don't share with anyone, and I don't expect them to share it with me. I just prefer it this way.

[–] ttk@feddit.de 1 points 1 year ago

I mostly know what they do for a living. I am not really sure how old they are or what are their birthdays. But it simply isnt relevant.

I had my bachelor's party weekend last weekend, and my best man rented an airbnb. We were 9 guys and some of them did not know each other before. Doesnt matter, we had beer and a great time. I think, such details really dont matter, if not for small talk.