this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2024
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[–] Lux@lemmy.blahaj.zone 84 points 10 months ago (3 children)

He specifically walked on water during a storm, and assuming he wasn't violently moving up and down, he was moving independently of the water, so i expect he would stand still

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 63 points 10 months ago (1 children)

If he didn't get affected by the moving water, does that mean he's not walking on water but on air? He's a skywalker.

[–] Satiric_Weasel@beehaw.org 15 points 10 months ago (1 children)
[–] GnomeKat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 10 months ago

Probably closer to a Cleric than a Wizard

[–] DragonTypeWyvern 27 points 10 months ago (2 children)

Well, Jerry and George are Jewish so it still makes sense they'd be puzzled.

[–] criitz@reddthat.com 1 points 10 months ago

They aren't puzzled because they don't know the answer. They are staring at him wondering what's wrong with him.

[–] BeanGoblin@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 10 months ago (1 children)

It's been a while since I've been to church. I thought the storm calmed when Jesus appeared?

[–] Pegajace@lemmy.world 18 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Nah, in two of the three Gospels that contain the story, the storm only calms after Jesus gets in the boat. One of them adds a bit where Peter walks out into the storm to meet him. In the third, the boat is just… instantly at its destination once Jesus boards, with no mention of the storm calming.

You might be confusing the separate instance of Jesus sleeping in a boat during a storm and commanding the waters to be still after the disciples wake him.

[–] SoonaPaana@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago (2 children)

'Standing on water' implies that he would move if the water moves. If he is staying still in one spot then it means he is standing on space. 🤔

[–] hswolf@lemmy.world 13 points 10 months ago (3 children)

standing in Earth space would be more accurate no?

otherwise when he turned on his power, he would fly away really fast or explode on the ground as the Earth moves away or into him

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 10 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Quantum-locking Jesus is my new headcanon.

I suppose in theory, earth-based time travellers would need to quantum-lock to the earths magnetic field so that when they travel in time they dont end up in a random point in space where the earth was or will be when they departed.

[–] nailbar@sopuli.xyz 4 points 10 months ago

Maybe they had to learn it the hard way, and the previous Jesus was what killed the dinosaurs.

[–] SoonaPaana@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

You I like you

[–] uriel238@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 10 months ago

Jesus should totally be able to river surf.

[–] eguidarelli@lemmy.world 11 points 10 months ago

I love this Seinfeld meme format

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 10 points 10 months ago

I mean do you think if you stood Jesus on a bucket of water and moved the bucket would he move with with the water or only when he comes in contact with the walls of the bucket. Simple test whether he is water locked or just hovering.

[–] can@sh.itjust.works 7 points 10 months ago

Why don't I remember this? Was it a bit cut for syndication?

Anyway, I vote the latter.

[–] Gork@lemm.ee 6 points 10 months ago

Conveyor belt, obviously. Not moving would produce forces on the feet that, if not balanced, would lead to a torquing motion, causing Jesus to spin.

[–] loops@beehaw.org 4 points 10 months ago

Depends on the strength/type of water walk spell used. Some Amazonian tribes specifically use the 'conveyor belt' method to travel quickly down stream for trade, but only use the stationary method if it makes sense to do so.

[–] troyunrau@lemmy.ca 4 points 10 months ago

Is the river frozen? ;)