this post was submitted on 20 Dec 2023
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Disability and Accessibility

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Everytime I leave the house to do anything, I either

  1. get shit from people because I am wearing a mask -either minimizing and simply gaslighting comments, or plain agression
  2. when they seemy mask they decide to share their grief with me. It is so hard to listen to all the stories of people dying and becoming disabled from covid, shared by maskless people. I tell them masks work, and they should vaccinate. But it is so tiring. I am just trying to survive. I wish others would help each other survive. I am already tired from my chronic illnesses. Seeing the COVID numbers rise and no one masking or doing anything and staying in denial is horrible for my mental health. I am trying my best to hang on to my sanity. I wish you all that you stay sane too.
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[–] phanto@lemmy.ca 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

I mask up too! Strength in numbers, I guess? Socially distant fist bump

[–] thebuoyancyofcitrus@beehaw.org 5 points 11 months ago

I mask up in public too and try to encourage other to do the same, when it's possible. It can be discouraging to see how few people are willing to do some of us are still out here, trying to minimize the risk to those around us. I like to think of my mask as a small show of solidarity for others who still choose to wear one.

[–] xuxxun@beehaw.org 4 points 11 months ago

Haha yes *fist bump *there are dozens of us! Dozens!

[–] mnglw@beehaw.org 7 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I get asked about my mask a bunch on the street. Honestly I've default to pointing to the trees and saying "allergic" which is true (MCAS, so allergic to everything under the sun including the sun) but not the only reason I wear a mask

So if anyone wants an excuse, feel free to use that, even if you're not allergic. People should keep their noses out of your mask, so I think giving a short answer is the best, even if its not true. They are not owed any reason just because they ask

[–] jarfil@beehaw.org 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

[points at tree] "Allergic"

"What? It's winter, that tree has not a single leaf left"

"Oh, sorry, I meant" [points at them] "allergic..."


BTW, it's nice to live in a not-completely-insane country, just went today to the doctor, and half the people were wearing masks.

[–] xuxxun@beehaw.org 4 points 11 months ago

That sounds nice. The last time I saw more than half people in masks was when I was waiting in line to get the booster. I kind of contributed to that by pointing anyone who entered after me towards the box with masks. It was a quite refreshing and completely out of the norm experience here. In this country I get asked by maskless doctors, who are aware that a lot of new patients come to them with long covid, and agree with my opinion that i have long covid, ask me why I wear it.

[–] mnglw@beehaw.org 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

in that case I just go "I am allergic to everything under the sun including the sun and wearing a mask helps me keep control on reactions" for a shorter answer, perhaps mention perfumes and not wanting to be exposed to smells and stuff idk

Allergies are year round for me sadly, so I honestly get away with not pointing at trees and just saying "allergic" as well. And if people were to get confused, I add "to everything" and then walk away

[–] xuxxun@beehaw.org 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yeah ultimately they are not owed a reason. I if people actually ask instead of being aggressive, I usually prefer to cite scientific studies the best I can at that moment and use this as an opportunity to educate, I want them to wear them too to help me stay safe after all. One way masking is much much worse than, well, all around masking. but it is tiring.

[–] mnglw@beehaw.org 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

honestly I'd recommend against trying to do the emotional labor of convincing them

it just costs far too much energy, energy I'm guessing you already do not have a lot of and moreover its not your responsibility

[–] xuxxun@beehaw.org 1 points 11 months ago

Yeah what you are saying is true.

[–] jet@hackertalks.com 3 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Optional strategies

  • ignore them
  • offer them a mask if they are telling you a story about why people should wear masks
  • tell them it's for pollution
  • your visiting a sick relative and you want to be careful
  • make a joke, ohh I have bad breath
  • make a joke, I feel sexier in the mask
  • if you have the energy tell them the truth, it's just good health hygiene and your doing your part to keep everyone healthy.
  • tell them your sick... Scratchy throat. Etc.

I live in a place that is still about 40% mask wearers. I carry extra masks. When someone is coughing on the train I just silently offer them a mask and stare at them with a slightly indulgent head shrug, so far it's worked every time.

I think the key is people read into your body language and confidence and respond to that far more then the mask.

Before masks got normalized I used to get a cough every time I flied so I started wearing a mask while flying. Had one steward ask me, in a friendly way, why I was wearing it... Just told her... Oh my throat dries out on these flights and the masks helps.

[–] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I have to admit, I feel way too awkward to wear a mask now, I already had social anxiety before bloody covid.

[–] xuxxun@beehaw.org 3 points 11 months ago

I also had social anxiety, i was even hospitalized for it. Seeing maskless people nowadays is borderline triggering to me. Which means I do not go out unless i I need to. Anyway, i will take feeling awkward over getting more disabled anyday.

IF more people wore masks, you would not need to feel that way about it. Some people might feel the same as you and not say it. Wearing them can empower others to do the same.