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I am very lonely, because in this world I have been left behind. We are living in a pandemic, and yet most people pretend we do not. I am disabled, have long covid and have been left behind by the majority. I had to give up everything because people refuse to fucking mask and spaces accessible. Staying at home for christmas is the best thing you can do for your health. We are during a global covid surge, the numbers are very high pretty much everywhere. Travelling at this time, especially maskless, is a recipe for death or disability for yourself and anyone else who you would gather with.

Sometimes being alone is better than drama. Take the time to enjoy yourself. Don’t frame this as a negative. Go and do something you enjoy. Read a book while enjoying a cup of tea, watch movies, go out somewhere. The possibilities are many.

@taanegl whatever you do, don't stay at home. This is a great opportunity to travel places. I spent my previous two Christmases alone in my house and I felt miserable. Try going to some place where you could go in the morning or return to the evening if you don't afford/cannot get accommodation. Or, if you can, book a ticket in a sleeper train in one day in the evening, and another in a sleeper train back in the evening of the next day (that way, you could combine the cost of the accomodation with that of the transport, and you could come out cheaper and save time). Try getting through all the best parts of that place - maybe check for information about that city on Wikipedia or anywhere and take some photos (it could also be an opportunity to get into photography if you want. That'll help you out as well. Then start categorizing your pics into a photo management program, you'll keep yourself busy a lot).

As for me, I think I have enough chores to do to keep myself busy. Plus some movies to watch and a book to finish.

is there anywhere you could volunteer? at least around here, many kitchens who cater to the houseless are open and serving folks.

I don't have many words of comfort, but I will say this: Even if when you look around you, it seems empty - that does not mean you are alone!

Conversely the same applies for me in my case, I'm supposed to have some family members around me for Christmas... and yet I feel much more disconnected and alone now than I ever have.

Logically, I know that my brain is just playing tricks on me. I have friends who truly care about me, and a few family members who do. But my siblings who are coming to visit us? They pretend to care (at least from my perspective), yet I doubt they do. I've heard from others the thoughts they have about me, and it's really sad to hear.

Unfortunately, the heart often does not follow logic. I can't help but feel how I do. The only thing I can do is just as I have, which is continuing to push on as hard as I can - some days I don't make any progress and it feels like I'm frozen in a single frame of the timeline... But I live for the days where the bad fades away, even if only briefly.

So it's not much, I know, but I will be thinking of you and the rest of my friends here at the Fediverse (and my personal friends of course) throughout the holidays! Some days the road is dark, but you'll never have to walk it alone.

I used to work retail far from where I grew up, and everyone I knew would go home for the holidays but I would have to work. It was tough sometimes but also it's just another day, I "took time off" from my home chores to go do what I want once I was off work or if I wasn't feeling up to it, just stay in with a frozen pizza and watch horror movies.

I'm not sure if that helps, but even though it did rob some of the remaining childhood magic for me, changing the view of holidays to be more mundane helped me feel less bad about my situation and enjoy the fact that I had some time to do whatever I wanted.