this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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all 43 comments
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[–] ReplicantBatty@lemmy.one 91 points 11 months ago (2 children)

My favorite was Cardi B being short for Cardigan Backyardigan

[–] YoFrodo@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago

Huh, i always thought it was short for Cardiovascular Bronchitis

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 5 points 11 months ago

Reminds me of that copypasta about Jolkien Rolkien Rolkien Tolkien.

[–] Blahaj_Blast@lemmy.blahaj.zone 50 points 11 months ago

That is called a "nichard name".

Source:

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 50 points 11 months ago (6 children)

My favourite gotta be Jimothy

[–] PochoHipster@lemmy.ml 10 points 11 months ago
[–] numlok@lemmy.world 9 points 11 months ago

We've named the two squirrels in our backyard Jimothy and Jeromathy.

[–] TheSanSabaSongbird@lemdro.id 7 points 11 months ago

I know a pair of brothers named James and Timothy and Jimothy is of course their collective name. Always has been. How could it not be?Also Jimmy and Timmy.

[–] superduperenigma@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Jimothy Jonathan and his freaky fast delivery

[–] Zoidsberg@lemmy.ca 5 points 11 months ago

I call a manager at work "Jimothy." He does not find it amusing.

[–] CCF_100@sh.itjust.works 26 points 11 months ago

Elongated Muskrat

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 25 points 11 months ago

Bike is short for bichael

[–] SqueezeMeMacaroni@thelemmy.club 24 points 11 months ago

Jimothy and Benneth and Kenjamin

[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 24 points 11 months ago

Tedward is one of my favorites

[–] HonoraryMancunian@lemmy.world 24 points 11 months ago
[–] instamat@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I refer to our IT director Jeb as Jeborah

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] weeabooextract@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago

Jebediah Kerman's Jewish cousin?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago
[–] AeonFelis@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I have a cat named Paul which I sometimes call Paulexander.

[–] Chadus_Maximus@lemm.ee 5 points 11 months ago

Not Pawlexander? Weak.

[–] Grabthar@lemmy.world 8 points 11 months ago

Hey, Bud! Or is it Budley? Budward? What's Bud short for?

[–] FreshLight@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 months ago

My all time favourite is "Bike is short for Bichael."

[–] Pregnenolone@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

It’s very appreciated. I’d say too appreciated.

[–] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

A friend once took a sharpie to a buddy's name tag at work, changing Craig to Graig. At first he couldn't figure out why the customers kept calling him Greg, then some lady said something like "I've never seen such a unique spelling of the name Graig before. He looked down n saw his name tag. Hilarity ensued. 10/10 would recommend to anyone who works with a Craig at a job that people wear name tags for.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 7 points 11 months ago

A girl I went to high school with had a teddy bear named Tedward.

[–] Cruxifux@lemmy.world 6 points 11 months ago

My mom has a dog named Teddy and me and my wife call him Tedward or Teddison all the time.

[–] sagrotan@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

Our Andy went from Andronimo to just Mo, he has to explain it at least 3 times a day lol

[–] MargotRobbie@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

That's esteemed Academy Award nominated character actress Margoritaville Robbiertson to you!

[–] tfw_no_toiletpaper@feddit.de 4 points 11 months ago

I love his videos, once watched like half of them in a day

[–] Kase@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago (4 children)

Help me out, what's a good one for Jessica? I wanna annoy my sister :)

[–] Grass@sh.itjust.works 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I have used Jessandra/Jessessandra, Jessinald, Jesstancia, Jessentina, Jessanca, Jesstoria, Jessody, Jesselia, Jessolet, Jessilda, Jessephine, Jessevieve, Jessentine, Jesselaide, Jessalie, Jesselope, Jessatrice, Jesselia, and many more. Just because she introduced herself saying her name was easier to remember than the other two that had just introduced themselves. Admittedly I can't remember their names.

[–] Kase@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Yay! This is a gold mine. Thank you

[–] Moneo@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

No problem Kaselina.

[–] wieson@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago
[–] Chadus_Maximus@lemm.ee 4 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

I'm afraid you're shit out of luck. Jessica is already an elongated name. If it were something like Jess, you could use Jessilda.

[–] Kase@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

Oh yeah I pretty much exclusively call her Jess or J. Not sure why I didn't just put Jess in the original comment lol.

Jesslinda is amazing! She's gonna hate it, it's perfect. Ooh, I like Jessabeth too.

I forgot all about it, but when we were younger I used to call her random J names for a while. Jeremy was a favorite. Good times.

[–] DillyDaily@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

You could always throw on a hyphenated middle name. She's no longer Jessica, she's Jessica-Anne.

I have a short full name, think something along the lines of "Sam Dal" (it's not, but same vibes), a lot of people ask what Sam is short for, but the answer is nothing, my legal name is just Sam. My friends will call me "Samuel Jay Dalford" as running joke. Made additionally funny because it's a masculine name and I'm not a man.

[–] quicksand@lemm.ee 2 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Reminds me of my old coworker Frank. His dad was Fransisco but his parents just went for straight up Frank lmao

[–] Doodleschmit@lemmy.world 3 points 11 months ago

Sometimes I call a coworker Stevinold. He's usually nonplussed about it.

[–] EmperorHenry@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 11 months ago

I do that when I fuck with scammers. When I give them fake names I come up with some improper spelling of an incorrect long form name....Or do I? Maybe I stopped doing that recently...If any scammers from any country are reading this, I'm always changing my methods.

[–] IanSomnia@lemmy.world 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Damien Haas? Is that you?