this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Draegur@lemm.ee 87 points 1 year ago (4 children)

if the corpse is in a location that I can feasibly observe within swimming distance, it's a problem.

so let's say there's a swimming pool shaped like an L, but one of the legs of that L is LOOOOOOOONG and the other is a short little stub.

If I am at the end of the long leg and the corpse is around the corner in the short stub, it would require me to swim all the way to the corner to observe it, and if that distance is longer than I can swim, then I will probably be ok.

If I am in the little stub of the L, and line of sight observation of the corpse is just a few strokes to the corner, I WILL NOT BE OK.

It's also a matter of relative mass.

If the pool had a drowned mouse in it, I will be sad. I might leave the water until the corpse is removed and then return to the water after it's gone through the filtration system for a little bit (a few minutes).

If the pool had a drowned squirrel in it, I will be alarmed. I will definitely leave the water and refuse to enter until the corpse has been gone for at least a few hours of filtration.

If the pool has a drowned raccoon, cat, fox, or small dog it it, I will be upset. I'm out of the water and concerned that nobody told me first, and I'm not going back in for the rest of the day.

If the pool has a drowned medium sized dog, coyote, baby goat, infant or toddler, or animal of similar mass in it, I'll be downright angry. I'm not going to that pool for a week, or maybe even a month.

Once the corpse in question reaches the mass of an adolescent human, I'm gone from that pool for the remainder of its open season.

If an adult human or larger died or was dumped in that pool, I'm never going to that pool again.

[–] Facelikeapotato@lemmy.ml 48 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You've put an absurd amount of thought into this, and I appreciate that.

[–] Draegur@lemm.ee 17 points 1 year ago

Working third shift where the majority of my duties are waiting for a phone to ring and babysitting an empty building lest it burn down while nobody's watching leaves me with more Noggin Time than most people have, so I appreciate you providing me with something to meditate upon :3

[–] dooger_chogany@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago

Raccoons also pose a greater risk than the others mentioned because their feces can contain a specific roundworm parasite’s eggs which are impervious to chlorine.

You would need to perform a much stricter disinfection.

https://www.cdc.gov/healthywater/swimming/residential/animals/raccoons-and-pools.html

[–] nailbar@sopuli.xyz 8 points 1 year ago

I can probably swim in a smallish lake even if I know there's a corpse in the other end of it.

But I would refuse to swim in a larger lake if it's murky, and I know there's a corpse in it, but I don't know where.

[–] glorious_albus@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Interesting how you're differentiating between humans of different ages.

[–] darcy@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

a dead baby is alarming at most

[–] VikingHippie@lemmy.wtf 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] dufkm@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)
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[–] Spendrill@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I hate how they'll keep bashing themselves repeatedly into the light bulb... oh... no, wait... I've confused babies with something else again haven't I?

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, only adults can put lightbulbs into their mouths. Although I guess a baby could put a Christmas tree lightbulb into their mouth.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

You can fit a regular sized light bulb in a babies mouth if you smash it up first.

[–] VikingHippie@lemmy.wtf 3 points 1 year ago

Idunno. Might be thinking about moths but also maybe babies.

[–] Draegur@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

Hm... Perhaps you're right. I might consider downgrading it on my scale, but then again it's still generally more potentially contaminated biomass than a squirrel though.

[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 49 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I mean, all sorts of creatures shit in the ocean and people still swim in it but one person shits in the pool...

[–] bingbong@lemmy.dbzer0.com 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

It's called 'being able to see the shit'

[–] PP_BOY_@lemmy.world 39 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

So if I put you in a L-shaped swimming pool and you knew there was shit around the corner, you'd be fine?

[–] Getawombatupya@aussie.zone 4 points 1 year ago

Yeah, but what about the Jaws music and the creeping brown?

[–] Piogre314@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago (3 children)

I do not recognize the bodies in the water.

We saw you checking their faces with relief.

[–] MBM@lemmings.world 5 points 1 year ago

Come on... it's your friends, your classmates. That's Arthur, right there! They're calling to you, can't you hear them?

[–] Darkassassin07@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

So I've just gotta import a corpse for you to swim in the pool with it?

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If there are bodies in the water, I take them out of the water. Then I let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the floor, let the bodies hit the....

FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

[–] nailbar@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 year ago

I can hear this in a Parrot's voice

[–] Sukisuki@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

This is good shit

[–] TheBeef@lemmy.world 27 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] redballooon@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Aren’t we talking Water of Bodies here?

[–] ArchmageAzor@lemmy.world 26 points 1 year ago

You do not recognize the bodies in the water.

[–] Custoslibera@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

By the same logic we all have a ‘land to corpse’ ratio as well.

People are happy to occupy the same land as corpses provided it doesn’t exceed that threshold.

[–] wabafee@lemm.ee 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I think they should account distance between the corpse. I seen people swimming while a km away a factory dumping their waste directly into the sea.

[–] Stoneykins@mander.xyz 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Corpse:water sounds like it would be a calorie free carbonated vodka drink that my sister "likes".

[–] JenIsBringingTheDrugs@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Not that far from Liquid Death

[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

i love LD. I dont care if I'm a victim of branding. it's made me drink more water and use less plastic doing so.

[–] Magnetar@feddit.de 2 points 1 year ago (4 children)

But more aluminium, which is recyclable but energy intensive. Also fun fact, decaying aluminium cans act as a toxin for trees. I'm sorry, don't mean to be a downer.

[–] witten@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Also.. and here's the fun part.. aluminum cans are lined with plastic.

[–] scottywh@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Plant more cannabis and it will remove the aluminum toxins from the soil thus protecting the trees.

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[–] udon@lemmy.world 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah that's all fun and games, but nobody is asking whether the corpse has a living human:water ratio they are comfortable with

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[–] C_Leviathan@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 year ago (4 children)

I think lokipagan has confounded the ability to see a corpse with whether you can see a corpse at the moment. In an L shaped pool I can see the corpse going in or out of the pool or if I near the bend. I would need a pool big enough that I don't have the physical ability to see it or discern corpse from flotsam.

[–] Getawombatupya@aussie.zone 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Unless it's a toddler up the deep end. We need to correct for "floating" or "sunk".

[–] udon@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

We don't know, because theberserkingblacksmith didn't tell us if they were ok with this. You could also put the corpse in a water tank next to the pool with a shared water flow, but that's a different experiment. Or else sprinkle the corpse into the pool in tiny bits (i.e. micro corpses) invisible to the eye.

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[–] Icaria@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

Instructions unclear, drank corpse water.

[–] Lammy@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Some people even move through other fluids like air, even though there are many more corpses in it

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

This is why I only move through solids such as earth.

[–] Lammy@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago
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[–] OceanSoap@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 year ago

Interesting thought.... also, this shouldn't stop at oceans, we also swim in lakes and rivers that most likely have bodies in them as well.

[–] Pulptastic@midwest.social 5 points 1 year ago

That sounds like a Mitch Hedberg joke but I don't think it is.

[–] FiskFisk33@startrek.website 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

and in some places its really, really high...

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-57154564

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'm more worried about sharks than bodies. A body can't turn me into another body, at least not as quickly as a shark can.

[–] Sotuanduso@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

You haven't been watching enough horror movies.

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