Ask Lemmy

Fart Cow. 🐄💨

It displays a cartoon loop of a cow munching on some grass. 🐮

If you poke the cow, it farts. 💨

If you poke the cow a second time, it pops up a micropayment screen where you can pay 10¢ to have it fart again right away; or you can put it into the background and it will fart at some random time in the next 10 minutes for free. (This is a "delayed fart".) 💰

Every additional fart costs 10% more, and plays at a louder volume. 🔊

At ten farts, you get a "butt trumpet" which is a longer and more melodious fart. 🎺

Even without paying, you can queue up lots of delayed farts. ⏲

If you open the app and poke the cow a dozen times without paying, it will fart once, then queue up delayed farts over the next two hours. These farts will be played over whatever else you're doing with your phone; one of them will be a "butt trumpet" at maximum volume. 🐄💨💨💨

The only way to cancel a delayed fart is to pay for it to be played immediately. 💸

A Braille-to-speech app. Point the camera at the Braille part of a sign, and be told what it says.

Intended user base: Users who can't read due to sight impairment, can't read Braille directly either for whatever reason, and couldn't find a general-purpose OCR app capable of reading the ordinary text.

Dumbest?

Probably one of those old school flashlight apps... that just turn your screen white

How about an app that makes calls, but you have to dial like you would with an old rotary phone.

If you make a mistake with the rotations it just connects you to a random one of your contacts.

An app that’s like Uber or Lyft, but it only calls your friends who have cars and would be willing/able to give you a ride. It shows you how far they are (if they share location with the app) and how long it would take to get you to your destination. Based on the trip distance and current prices, it could also suggest how much you would owe if you wanted to cover their gas.

I have an inside joke with a friend who lives nearby that if she ever needs a ride she should download an app that’s like Uber but it only calls me. I think if I actually made it, she would actually put it in her rideshare folder and use it instead of forgetting to message me! So yeah if you made it and it was open source I might actually use it haha

A calendar app where you input any date and it will return a yes/no response if that is is today's date or not. Similar to the websites that tell you if today is Christmas or not.

This has abd i believe but I think it doesn't get much dumber: an app that turns your phone into a pocket/hand warmer by maxing out the CPU with some stupid intense tasks. Maybe add a bonfire screensaver for best effects.

I'd make something dumb with real world applications. A chat-gpt chat bot with attitude or only wrong answers. An app that only allows the user to make a paypal donation to you. Etc etc

Forgot your tennis racket at home? Download the e-racket for the most portable racket on the market. Upgrade to pro today and you can use it as a baseball bat instead!

Oh no. Not gonna trick me again.

The last time I gave away my dumbest app idea, someone stole it and made Twitter.

Anybody remember “I’m Rich”?

An app that immediately, purposefully, crashes your phone.