this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


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all 38 comments
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[–] ComradePorkRoll@lemmy.ml 68 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I'm going to say "I hope we don't get off on the wrong foot" and then they're going to ask me to leave.

Either that or you'll be sole-mates.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Bravo. This is a great joke that I will never have the right context to repeat...

[–] ComradePorkRoll@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 year ago

Life is cruel like that.

[–] Eegra@lemmy.world 35 points 1 year ago

If the hotness is high, I will comply.

[–] tacuache@lemmy.world 29 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] Ddhuud@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

It would be rude not to

[–] Automated_Footprint@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 year ago (2 children)

People with foot fetish: 。⁠◕⁠‿⁠◕⁠。

[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Idk man I like feet and this is... unappealing

[–] Valmond@lemmy.mindoki.com 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Put an eye on each big toe and you have a spider!

[–] rifugee@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

...brb, gonna paint my toenails.

[–] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm gonna put my foot up your ass 😏

[–] TheHottub@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

Then we are gunna do the bad thang on the good foot.

[–] Akasazh@feddit.nl 12 points 1 year ago

I would feel defeeted

[–] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I want to leave, but the doors are already sealed. Suddenly I hear a faint voice next to my ear: "Take off your socks"

[–] shadowspirit@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

... it's Shia LeBeouf!!

[–] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Obviously I would look past all the positive attributes my crush has and never see them again. Following my retreat I would then begin to evaluate everyone elses taste while placing my own above them. Naturally, they would all fall short aswell and I will seclude myself entirely. Then I will become frustrated that I have no strong connections with anyone because they are beneath me and no one understands my greatness.

All because I couldn't see that that bed was funky and cool in a weird way.

[–] Ryan213@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Why would have you a crush on Quagmire?!

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

First I sit at the foot of the foot bed.

[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I'd get real anxious about not having had time to tidy up my toenails.

This guy knows what's up.

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

It’s a little bothersome that be toes don’t touch the ground

[–] CheeryLBottom@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

If they're a podiatrist, it might be ok

[–] vivadanang@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

apologize. not everyone's kinks are universal and feet aren't my thing, and my feet lol... sometimes they're well groomed but on average tend toward goblin toes.

[–] ElBarto@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago

I'm frog leaping the big toes for a grand entrance.

[–] aceshigh@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

If I was red foreman I’d ask if they ever shoved a foot up their ass.

[–] SVcross@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

I would just cum. We would all do it, don't lie.

[–] ObviouslyNotBanana@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I like the first pic where it's in an empty office space.

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

"For sale, office foot bed, lightly used"

It's kind of sinister there

[–] doctorcrimson@lemmy.today 3 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I guess I'm getting a footjob, idk

Maybe discuss that it's anatomically questionable, the testosterone morphism of the toe lengths aside it also has all toes curled except for the big toe: despite having very capable feet myself I cannot do that and I'm not sure other people can.

[–] matter@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Funny, I can easily do that and assumed everyone could

[–] vivadanang@lemm.ee 2 points 1 year ago

same. ugly feet but prehensile toes are handy for picking shit up.

I'm not sure other people can.

Can confirm that some people can, also allows for a way stronger pinch than with fingers.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

In a word, "sploosh"

[–] ExLisper@linux.community 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 2 points 1 year ago

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Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.

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