this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2023
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Borgara on 2023-08-11 06:41:52.


I (30F) work for a company that is known for its good salaries and I earn 25% more than my husband (42M).

Even though neither of us has any generational wealth or passive income sources, our salaries allow us to live very comfortably, with most of our income going into savings.

Hy husband's job is of very high demand and he has multiple opportunities to perhaps earn even more than me. He prefers to stay at his current job though because his work is light and he has a great work life balance, relaxing, doing hobbies and enjoying our daughter way more than me.

On the other hand, even though I love my job, I work more hours than him, and this is not something I can negotiate with my employer.

AITA for not wanting to split our ridiculously low expenses based on our salary percentage difference? It feels that this adds an extra layer of calculations when splitting costs, plus as a gesture I feel as if my husband is charging me for income tax, like another gov mechansim ๐Ÿ˜… If he needed the money he could have changed job.

He says that if I'm all about equality between partners, this is the fair way to do it.

TLDR; my husband earns less than me because he chooses to, yet he wants us to split costs based on salary difference percentages

Edit for context:

I was paying 50-50 some years ago that I was barely earning enough to survive. Even as a student while he already had a job.

Another edit: He is not providing extra child care while I am working. He can choose to pick up our daughter earlier some days from daycare/grandpa's, when he's up for it. House chores are split 50-50

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