this post was submitted on 23 Oct 2023
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[–] ProfesvanNostrand@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Who cares, he had 0 brainz from day 1. He is there for the same reason he was at PSG, get paied

[–] Rush31@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Mr. Byebye Cunts

[–] BeezBurg@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Probably had to shit

[–] NapoliXabe@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Maybe he had to take a dump

[–] robot1818@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Most committed former high-profile player in the UAE

[–] PasqualeSiakam@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

He’s just going for a cheeky poo

[–] HardCoreLawn@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Realised his chances of finally playing for Arsenal are dwindling away and it's time to call Higuain, Samba & co and make a move.

[–] Arsenal_Analysis@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Must be disappointing to the fan who paid to watch him play

[–] Fit-Emu-9880@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

He could save schalke

[–] ontilein@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

he better sits in an airplane already

[–] Didavi_@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

He heard the move to arsenal finally on

[–] Looking4Maria@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Ive heard that name before. He's a German wonderkid

[–] FatWalcott@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Puncheon special

[–] SpiritedSuccess5675@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Is he already pissed

[–] evenout@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago (2 children)

had to take a shit obviously

[–] thebagmanchicanery@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago
[–] KenHumano@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago (4 children)

That's the least urgent pooping emergency I've ever seen, he's strolling and even stops to play a pass.

[–] drckeberger@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Maybe he played it really cool

[–] MERTENS_GOAT@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Makes me wonder if something serious happened to a family member and a staff member just told him from the sidelines. He looks distracted/sad. If he left the field to take a shit then it must be one hell of an urgent shit and I don't think he would just walk slowly down the tunnel. The way he left the field didn't look like he planned on coming back again to me

[–] frapples1@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Maybe cause business already done, just need a change

[–] generativePI@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Sometimes moving slowly is your best defense. One clinch of the abdomen and you have an explosion

[–] _Buff_Tucker_@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Mit Stolz und Leidenschaft. 🔵⚪️

[–] Starbreaker99@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

This league is better than MLS? Lolol

[–] SecretaryImaginary44@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Jeff Hardy vibes

[–] Dependent_Plenty_777@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago (12 children)

Anyone who ever came close to shitting themselves at least once in their lives, knows that this is not one of those cases. You don`t just casually walk away when you feel it coming, you run for your dear life

[–] onionwba@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

There was once I was doing a beep test in school. I was rather fit, and was able to stay in the test until I was one of the last few left. That also meant that I was pretty drained at that point.

However, when one's got to go, one's got to go. I bolted out of there at what was probably my personal best in 100m up till that point straight to the throne.

[–] Pandamabear@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Eric Dier knows

[–] caiusto@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Well sometimes if you run you'll relax the muscles and release it all, gotta have that super focus.

[–] stringynoodles3@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

no, if i wait too long i have to waddle to the toilet or my street will hear my farts and possibly more

[–] smithdanvers@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago (5 children)

As someone who is probably one of the top global experts on shitting yourself, having suffered from an a degeneration of parts of my intestine causing me to shit at rapid speed with warning times ranging from zero to one minute and this to shit myself at least once a week for two years, sometimes you walk and sometimes you run.

It depends on what’s going on internally when the shit strikes, sometimes legging it will trigger sphincter release but sometimes it won’t.

[–] Fun-Accountant8275@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

This is so true it hurts to read.

[–] Ok-Discipline9998@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] generativePI@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Underrated comment

[–] antivirals_@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

a shitter crowning himself as a top global shitter

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[–] resident_hater@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago (5 children)

I'm surprised someone with a history of being so dedicated and committed would quit in the middle of a game like that.

[–] lightsongtheold@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Was it a game though? There was only half a dozen fans there. Dude probably thought he was at a training session and dived off early to get to the showers first!

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[–] NeverHideOnBush@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

He had the diarrea walk.

[–] FlamingLaps1709@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

The irony here is he was one of the very few "younger" players that admitted his decision to head there was purely financially driven

[–] FlamingLaps1709@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Clown league. Clown players. If someone walks off during a game of 5 a side AstroTurf because they are losing, the rest of the players get seriously pissed off.

[–] StereoZombie@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

If you walk off the pitch during a professional football match but there's no audience around to see it, does it really matter?

[–] PornFilterRefugee@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

The guy you see when it’s following Draxler down the tunnel looks like Arabian Mr Bean

[–] hugoreyes81516@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Man went searching for the fans because they sure are not in the stadium lol

[–] noelparisian@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

He became aware of what he was doing after thinking on it. He decided to walk away from Omelas.

[–] Yhuel@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Been an hour, anyone knows why he actually left? Was he injured and they had no subs left?

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[–] acon993@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Antonio Brown?

[–] NoSmartOpinion@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

I have these “what the hell am I doing here” at work too often. Only I don’t have the accumulated wealth to do this.

[–] 0_mm@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

good I hope all these guys are fucking miserable

[–] ineververify@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago
[–] Doncallan@alien.top 1 points 11 months ago

Probably needed a big poo

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